


Pinky Promise?

by caswinchesterbaby



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Big Brother Gabriel, Bottom Dean, Christmas, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Minor pining, Top Castiel, Trickster Gabriel, Virgin Castiel, a little bit of angst but not too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-02-27 19:09:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 49,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2703215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caswinchesterbaby/pseuds/caswinchesterbaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak hates Dean Winchester. And Dean Winchester hates Castiel Novak. Right? At least, that's what they think, as they start their first year of college heads over heels for each other. Luckily for them (and their friends, because frankly, they're fed up with the two) Gabriel's set his mind to getting his little bro some Winchester ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [castielscats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielscats/gifts).



> Hello! This is a fic that I wrote for castielscats for Christmas :) This was beta'd by her, too. Honestly, even though I was the one who wrote most of it, she was the real brain behind this story and without her it would be utter crap . I already promised her my first born, but I think she has a claim to my second born now :) I'd like to thank her from the bottom of my heart for this, so Merry Christmas! :)

As Dean Winchester surveyed his practically empty room - the same room he’d lived in all his life - he let the bubble of excitement that’d been building for weeks burst through his veins. He was finally going to college. He, Dean Winchester, was going to Kansas University.

Sure, Dean would be leaving his younger brother Sammy and his parents, but he’d still visit them whenever he got the chance. Besides, Jo and Benny were going to the same college as he was, and between the three of them, he’d be sure to catch a ride back home every now and then. And as Sam had told Dean practically all summer, he was just a phone call away. The big goof would probably be calling him all the time.

“Dean!” His mother called from downstairs. “We have to leave soon if you want to get there in time to unpack.”

With a final glance around his room, Dean shut the door gently, and made his way downstairs.

“Looking nerdy as always, Samsquatch,” Dean said as he entered the kitchen, ruffling Sammy’s floppy hair. The dude was a freaking  _ sophomore _ already.

“Bitch.” Sam responded, the grin he gave Dean not quite meeting his eyes.

“Jerk.” Dean tried not to dwell on the fact that these greetings would be farewells pretty soon. “So, you ready to move me into my new dorm?”

“I guess.” Sam wilted for a moment but then perked up. “I heard that KU has a really high rate of Early Childhood majors getting jobs. Are you still planning on becoming a teacher?”

“I should hope so,” John replied, walking through the kitchen to bring yet another one of Dean’s bags and boxes to the Impala. “This college isn’t exactly cheap.”

“John,” Mary chastised, “be nice. I’m sure Dean’s already nervous enough as it is for his first year.” A plate of scrambled eggs and bacon slid in front of Dean. Thank god.

“I’m not nervous,” Dean grumbled, shovelling a fork full of eggs into his mouth.

“Oh really?” Sam poked him with a pencil and lifted a brow. The nerd was doing homework,  optional summer work. “How much sleep did you get last night?”

Dean huffed and refused to meet Sam’s eyes.

“That’s what I thought.”

In truth, he was lucky to have gotten more than three hours. He’d been up most of the night, running his schedule through his mind and making a mental list of all the things he needed to bring to his new dorm, but dammit, he knew he’d somehow forget something important. Probably a stupid charger or something, and he’d end up having to buy a new one again. He’d already talked to his room mate, emailing and texting about who was bringing what. Dean was on microwave duty while his roommate was covering the mini fridge. Freaking rich guy. But Balthazar had seemed cool. A little pretentious, but cool. Dean could manage that.

He let his thoughts wander through the remainder of breakfast, and all too soon he was sitting in the front seat of the Impala, gripping his Baby’s steering wheel loosely. Sam was riding shotgun and his parents were in the truck behind them, with most of Dean’s stuff. He was going to miss driving the Impala - Dean still wasn’t over the fact that first years couldn’t keep cars on campus. But meanwhile, AC/DC was blasting through Baby’s speakers, with Dean belting out the lyrics to ‘Highway to Hell’ and Sam laughing and shaking his head as he tried to sing along as well. Dean grinned, staring straight ahead at the road before him. He was going to miss this a lot.

Dean’s dorm was a part of Oliver Hall, one of the largest halls on campus, the renowned party hall. Not that Dean was going to go out drinking every night - because he wasn’t - but he knew that college was going to be tough, and he’d need a crappy cold beer every once in a while.

“What d’you think, Sammy?”

Sam seemed to move his gaze along the entirety of Oliver Hall and its surroundings before answering, looking at every miniscule detail that could somehow lead to Dean’s demise. “It seems nice enough.” He shrugged, looking slightly worn down again. “You should see about getting the university to install solar panels.”

“You’re such a nerd.” Dean grinned, not for one second letting this feel like the end of an era. His dad’s truck pulled in behind his Baby and grumbled to a stop, squeaking with the weight of all of Dean’s crap.

Behind the Winchester truck, Ellen’s truck pulled up, and Jo jumped out of the passenger door before the vehicle could come to a full stop.

“Winchester!” She yelled, marching over to Dean in a way that could only be described as threatening with love and care. Dean gave a little smirk and crossed his arms.

“Harvelle,” he replied, hearing only a muffled “God, you’re an idiot” before he was being crushed in a hug. Dean was grinning as he held her back tightly.

Jo pulled back, turning to Sam. 

“Hello, little cousin,” she said with just as much affection, reaching to ruffle his hair before Sam batted her hand away. He scowled, but couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his face as she pulled him into a hug as well. They weren’t really cousins, but they might as well have been.

There was an innocent slamming of truck doors before Ellen strode up to the three, little Adam tagging behind her. “Well, hello boys.” She greeted with a smile, nodding at them. 

“Afternoon, ma’am,” Sam and Dean chorused. Dean added, “Our old man’s over there, if you’re looking for him.” Ellen smiled gratefully before walking off to find John. Adam shifted uncomfortably. 

“Um. Hey guys.”

Jo rolled her eyes and muttered, “Our brothers are awkward people,” getting a muffled “Tell me about it,” from Dean and a squawk of protest from Sam. Jo grinned widely. “Just kidding, geez. I’m gonna miss you a ton, little bro.”

“No, you won’t.” Adam mumbled, receiving another eye roll from Jo. Adam was only a few years younger than Sammy.

“Fine. I’ll miss you a little, at least. Give me that much credit.” Adam still looked skeptical, but he shrugged anyways. Dean snorted, hefting the nearest box into his arms and grunting with its weight. It was heavy, but it was only one of the many packages that made up Dean’s crap. When he was done he’d help Jo with some of her boxes too.

“What floor is your dorm on?” Jo nudged him.

“The fourth.” Dean answered immediately. “Where are you?”

“First floor.” Jo frowned momentarily but then grinned. “If there’s a fire I’ll make sure Sammy gets first dibs on your room back home.”

“Thanks.” Dean deadpanned, earning an even bigger grin from his best friend.

Three hours and a shit ton of sweating later, every box and bag that was in either of their three cars was finally in Oliver Hall. Mary was making Dean’s bed - the only thing he would let her do, insisting that this wasn’t  _ another _ room she needed to clean - and John and Sam were finishing setting up his desk chair. This was actually happening. Dean was still having trouble wrapping his head around it.

“We’re just about done,” John grunted, lifting the swivel chair off the floor and placing it under Dean’s desk. Balthazar still hadn’t shown up. “We’ll get out of your hair now so that you can finish moving in on your own.”

_ On your own . _ Dean could count on one hand the number of times his dad had trusted him to do anything on his own. The overwhelming urge to make his father proud burst through Dean, causing him to straighten his back and nod his head in earnest.

Mary gave Dean a bone crushing hug, sniffling into his neck and repeating over and over how much she loved him and knew he’d do well this year and not to forget to call as often as he wanted. Dean hugged her back, clenching his jaw. He wouldn’t cry, not in front of his family like this. He was supposed to be strong, like his dad, like a Winchester.

That moment crumbled when Sammy attached himself to Dean like a squid, all limbs and sobs. Sam may have still been a short little squat, but goddamn he was heavy when he was full out sobbing into Dean’s chest and using his vise-like grip around Dean’s neck to hold himself up. There was condensation forming in the back of Dean’s eyes but he absolutely refused to acknowledge it, no matter how loud Sam was getting.

“You’re gonna call, right?” Sam sobbed into his shirt, causing the material to become damp with the tears he was doing a piss poor job of hiding.

“Of course.” Dean’s voice was thick from all the emotion he was currently digging a hole for, trying to hide it in the deepest corners of his mind. “I’ll call you every day if you want.”

“Please.” Sam mumbled, probably rubbing his nasty snot onto Dean’s chest. He made a mental note to get changed before he officially met Balthazar. He’d hate to start his college years with _“_ _ Hello, I’m your roommate and I’m covered in teenager snot. I promise I’m not insane. ” _

“Sam.” Mary placed a gentle hand on Sam’s shoulder, slowly easing him off of Dean. Her eyes were watery, but there was a calm determination hidden there too. “You’ve said your goodbye. It’s time to let Dean get settled in.”

Sam looked at Dean as if he was a dog about to be put down. It broke Dean’s heart. “I’ll call you tonight, okay buddy?” Dean promised. Sam nodded, probably not trusting himself with words. With one final embrace and a quick handshake from his dad, Dean was alone.

The silence didn’t last very long. It was only long enough for Dean to sit down on the edge of his bed and finally breathe after what felt like days of holding his breath. Then the door, a mere foot away from Dean, was being thrown open, and a stack of bags floated into the room. Well, to be more precise, a person blindly carrying a pile of at least seven bags walked into the room - and he was headed straight into Dean.

“Whoa there!” Dean steadied the stranger by his arms and grabbed a few bags off of the pile, placing them onto the floor. “Who are you?” As soon as the words were out Dean realized they were pointless, as the man who stood before him could be none other than Balthazar. No other man would be caught dead wearing such a low cut V-neck, and no sane one would be perching a bottle of Brandy atop his already wobbly stack of suitcases.

“Balthazar DiCaprio - don’t you dare make a joke about my surname, I hate that god awful movie - but everyone calls me Balth.” Dean honestly hadn’t expected him to have such a British accent, seeing how he was also from Kansas. “You must be the infamous Dean Winchester.”

“Infamous? Didn’t realize I already had a reputation.”

Balthazar seemed to study Dean curiously for a moment before making a noncommittal hum and placing the rest of his bags onto the bed opposite Dean’s. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go check on my friend.”

Without waiting for a response, Balthazar picked up his bottle of brandy and left, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

This was going to be a  _ great _ year.

 

~*~

 

Castiel did not like Gabriel’s car. He did not like the scratchy fake leather seats, he did not like the absurd and frankly inappropriate bumper stickers, and he  _ did not _ like the mounds of trash that littered the inside.

After sitting in the death trap Gabriel called a car for over two hours because Gabriel wanted to ‘take one final little road trip before Cassie got stoned for the rest of his life’, Castiel sent a prayer of gratitude to Heaven for letting them  _ finally _ arrive at campus.

“You won’t be praying in thanks from now on, Cassie,” Gabriel smirked. “All you’ll be praying for is a nap and a beer.” Castiel didn’t give his older brother the satisfaction of getting a response. “Oh, take the stick out of your ass, little bro, or you’re gonna start walking funny.”

“Ha-ha. Very original, Gabriel,” Castiel deadpanned, opening the car door - which didn’t fall off its hinges this time, thank god - and stepped out of the car. Gabriel followed a moment later, this time with a lollipop sticking out of his mouth.

“I can help you bring your stuff up if you want.” Gabriel offered, all humor set aside. “You’ll wanna get settled in tonight. Damnit, we should have gotten here a few hours ago.”

It wasn’t rare, when Castiel was younger, to see Gabriel transition from ‘The Trickster’ to ‘Worried older brother Gabriel Novak’. But ever since high school, it had all but disappeared, and Cas was almost shocked to see it resurface.

“I’ll be fine, but thank you.” Castiel only had a suitcase, a backpack, and a small box. He didn’t own many possessions that he cared to take with him. The only one he couldn’t bear to part with was the small glass angel that he currently clutched in his hand, twisting it nervously. Gabe seemed to glance disapprovingly at it for a moment, but let it go.

“Are you sure?” Gabriel looked skeptical - or maybe just reluctant? - to let Castiel go.

“Very.”

“Alright.” Gabriel walked around the car to pat Castiel on the head, as if he were a cat and not an eighteen year old man. “This’ll be good for you, little guy. I’ll send Balth over later to check on you. Remember, my apartment’s only a bus stop away.”

“I know.” Castiel smiled, noting how concerned this whole ordeal was making his brother. “Thank you for the ride.”

“You betcha.”

Gabriel didn’t drive away until Cas was inside the building and had waved him off. Gabe was so protective of him sometimes, overcompensating for something that really wasn’t his fault. Cas shoved the thought aside. He was not going to think about his parents today. This was  _ Castiel’s _ . This was something that nobody could ruin for him.

Finding his room was easy enough. It was the first door on the second floor of Oliver Hall. He’d been expecting his roommate, whom he had never exchanged one word with before, to be in the dorm already. What he hadn’t been expecting was for there to be Bon Jovi blasting out from the room and into the hallway, even through the shut door.

Upon unlocking the door and politely knocking before walking in, he was met with the overwhelming aroma of fried chicken and the sight of a large, healthy looking young man with eyes that were arguably just as bright as Castiel’s were.

“Are you Casteel?” the bright eyed man asked.

“It’s Castiel, but yes.”

“Awesome. I’m Benny Laffite.” Benny offered a hand, which Castiel shook once he put his things on his bed, or what he assumed was his bed, since the other one was already covered in clothes. “I’m from Louisiana, but I’ve lived in Kansas for the past few years. Where are you from?”

“I’ve lived in Kansas my entire life.”

“Fun.” Benny didn’t sound so sure. “So listen, brother, I’ve taken the left side of the room, that okay with you?”

Benny seemed nice enough. He looked as if he could beat the living hell out of anyone who crossed him, but he was kind, and if Castiel was honest, seemed like he acted as if he was a teddy bear on the inside. The effect was pleasing. Castiel decided that he would like to get to know Benny better, even if it meant doing his best not to simply ignore him. 

“Of course. You arrived first, so it’s only fair you should get first choice.” Benny looked like he was about to object so Castiel added, “I really don’t mind the right side. It makes absolutely no difference to me which side of the room I do my homework in.”

“You sure?”

“Completely.” Castiel gave his roommate a determined look before plopping down onto his bed, which was surprisingly more comfortable than he had expected. “Oh. They’re actually soft. What are these beds made of?”

Benny barked out a laugh and shook his head. “I think it’s just memory foam, brother.”

“Well, whatever it is, we need to steal it at the end of the year.”

“So my new roommate’s a thief, hmm?” Benny tried looking suspicious but failed and ended up looking more constipated from trying not to laugh.

“Big time.” Castiel’s voice was sarcastic. He had always been one to bend the rules, to “rebel” as his mother once put it during a  _ lovely _ phone call when he was fourteen. But he was never one to do something that could directly hurt another. In other words, stealing was off the table. 

Just then, a knock sounded at the door. Castiel looked toward Benny with a silent question in his eyes.  _ Are you expecting someone? _

_ No _ , Benny mouthed back with a shake of his head. Shit. Had Castiel somehow ended in the wrong room and the person at the door was Benny’s real roommate? Crap, now Cas would end up sharing a room with a homicidal maniac and he’d be -

“Cassie, I know you’re in there,” someone called from outside the door. Oh.

“You know this guy?” Benny asked from where he was standing in front of the door, not opening it yet.

“Yes. His name is Balthazar. He’s harmless.”

Benny shrugged and opened the door, which was immediately thrown wide open to hit him mid chest. Balthazar squinted at Benny, as if questioning how someone could have the audacity to get in his way. “Cassie, your roommate’s in my way.”

“Oh yeah, he’s real harmless,” Benny muttered, closing the door and retreating to his own side of the room.

“You should really be nicer,” Castiel said without conviction. He’d known Balth ever since they were toddlers, and there was nothing in this world short of Leonardo DiCaprio never being born that would make Balth be less of an asshole.

“And you should really get laid, but I’m not here so we can judge each other.” Castiel’s face flushed slightly, even more so when he heard a choked off laugh come from Benny. Balth pushed Castiel’s stuff off of the bed and collapsed onto his belly. “Gabe sent me to come check on you.”

“Shocking.” Could Gabriel seriously not trust him to survive twenty minutes on his own? Seriously?

“How about I change that to: I’m here because I missed you?”

“I’d be doubtful, since I saw you this morning.” While they were eating the pancakes Gabriel had made and drowned in maple syrup. That memory had seemed like days ago, and with that revelation, Castiel realized just how immensely tired he was.

Castiel sighed and nudged Balth in the arm. He didn’t budge. He nudged him in the leg. Balthazar still didn’t move. Then the ribs. Still dead to the world.

“ _ Balthazar . _ I want to take a nap.” Castiel practically whined. Balth grunted but obeyed Castiel’s unworded request, dragging his body off the mattress.

“I’ll let Gabe know everything’s fine. Call me tomorrow so we can hang out.” Balthazar clapped him on the shoulder and sent a mock salute to Benny who just raised an eyebrow at him.

After the door closed behind his friend, Castiel let his head fall into the pillow face first and closed his eyes. “I hope you don’t mind if I go to sleep. I don’t mean to be rude.”

“Don’t sweat it, brother.”

Castiel was asleep before he could even reply.


	2. Chapter Two

Dean woke up with a groan. His hand reached for his nightstand, and when it found nothing, he squeezed open his eyes. He was more than half expecting to be back in his room at home, this whole moving-in experience having been a dream. Instead, he found himself in a dorm at Kansas University with his roommate sprawled across the other bed, snoring away. Dean rolled over with a grunt and swung his legs over the side of his bed, stopping to blearily consider the stranger opposite him.

Balthazar was weird, Dean knew that much. The guy had left yesterday after being in the room for less than five minutes, and hadn’t come back until almost midnight, proceeding to collapse onto his bed drunk. The guy would almost be sketchy, if he didn’t seem so classy. Which really only made him creepier.

Dean got up and stretched, walking to his desk to check his phone. He’d called Sammy last night, who sounded incredibly calm for the snivelling wreck he’d been yesterday. Dean did hear a sniffle come over the other line when they were saying their goodbyes, though. He would be lying if he said he didn’t get a little choked up himself after hanging up.

8:36AM lit up on his phone, as well as a shit ton of texts.

_ 12:06AM  ** Bitch ** : your roommate cant be THAT creepy _

_ 12:08AM  ** Bitch ** : i demand photos _

_ 12:09AM  ** Bitch ** : not in like a creepy way tho _

_ 12:27AM  ** Bitch ** : r u already asleep? _

_ 12:29AM  ** Mom ** : Dean darling please tell your brother to go to sleep. You should get some rest too. Love you. _

_ 12:30AM  ** Bitch ** : mom’s making me go to sleep _

_ 12:49AM  ** Bitch ** : u suck. jerk. _

_ 7:31AM  ** Mom ** : Good morning, sweetheart. Enjoy your first (unofficial) day at KU! John says hello and to make him proud. _

_ 8:37AM  ** To Bitch ** : dammnit sammy cant a guy get some sleep. bitch. and yeah ur fuckin creepy. i’m not taking photos of a sleeping guy. _

_ 8:38AM  ** To Mom ** : thanks mom. love you too. tell dad i will. _

Dean tossed his phone back onto the desk. He missed his family, sure, but right now, he was too excited to worry about missing them. He’d told Benny that he would stop by his room at around nine, which gave him about twenty minutes. After showering and throwing on an old t-shirt and pair of well-loved jeans, he quietly left the dorm, locking the door behind him.

Dean couldn’t quite remember Benny’s room number. Room 201? It sounded familiar enough, although Dean wasn’t sure Benny was one to leave his door wide open. Not that he doubted the guy could take care of himself, because even Dean wouldn’t take him in a fight, but come on. He was just asking to get his stuff stolen.

Striding through the door, Dean lost no time in hollering, “Benny, you stupid son of a bi--”  _ Oh _ .  “-tch.”  _ That’s not Benny . _

Someone who was most definitely not Benny was frozen, crouched with his hands inside a cardboard box and staring up at Dean as if he was a lunatic. The guy didn’t even blink. He just kept staring and staring at Dean, a stoic statue of confusion with dark ruffled hair and black rimmed glasses perched on top of his head, wearing an oversized blue sweater with a cartoon bumblebee flying across it, and those freaking lightning  _ blue _ eyes, man - which were right now squinted at him and probably judging him. Badly. Honestly, he was making Dean feel a bit self-conscious, because he was wearing his favorite old Star Wars shirt and okay, the dude probably has the right to stare at him like that, given the way he made his entrance.

“Um. Have you seen Benny? Laffite?” Dean tried lamely to ignore the embarrassment that was threatening to show in the form of a stupid blush. Crap, this guy probably hadn’t even met Benny yet. One more point for the ‘Dean is awkward as all hell’ tally chart.

“He just left to look for the second floor commune bathroom,” Blue Eyes said, wary of where Dean was intruding in the doorway. Dean blinked. The guy’s voice was unbelievably deep. Like, bottom-of-the-Mariana-Trench deep.

“Oh. Cool. I’m Dean,” Dean finally said, leaning on the doorframe as he realized how increasingly awkward this was going to get the longer Benny wasn’t there. “Dean Winchester.”

Blue Eyes nodded as if to stow away the information, and turned back to where his hands were still hidden away in the box.  _ Um _ _…_ Dean cleared his throat and Blue Eyes turned back to him with a question in his eyes. Almost immediately after Dean arched an eyebrow, his eyes lit up in understanding and the guy’s lips shaped around an “oh.”

“I apologize. My name is Castiel.”

“Castiel,” Dean said it slowly, testing the feel of the sound reverberating off his tongue. “Castiel who?”

“Castiel Novak.” Castiel said the name with the same boring finesse as if he’d said it a million times before.

“Oh. Cool,” Dean repeated, smacking himself mentally for not having anything better to say. Just then, a hand clapped Dean on the back.

“Hey, brother,” Benny rumbled, before coming in for a bear hug.

“Oh thank freaking god,” Dean muttered, because the conversation with Castiel was getting way too awkward for his liking.

“Sorry. Figured I could fit in a quick trip to the bathroom before you finally got your ass down here,” Benny said. “I see you’ve met Castiel.”

“Yeah,” Dean said, rubbing the back of his neck. Benny walked into the room and Dean followed, taking a seat at the desk chair Benny gestured towards before he dropped onto his own bed. Castiel acted as if neither of them were there, and continued rummaging through his box.

“Can you believe we made it to college?” Benny asked, sending out a low whistle at the end of the question.

“No,” Dean answered honestly. It seemed like only yesterday they were chasing Jo around the playground, before she’d jump out of nowhere and spray them with water guns. The good old kindergarten days. Where Dean’s biggest fear was which color crayon would ruin his drawing. Right now, his biggest fear was probably being in debt until he’s forty.

“How did we even get  _ into _ college? We barely did anything in high school.” Dean didn’t miss the way Castiel’s head twitched in interest when Benny said that.

“Good SAT scores?” Dean guessed. It didn’t really matter to him  _ how _ he had gotten into KU, just the fact that he was currently sitting in one of their residence halls was enough.

“I suspect if your grades weren’t particularly flattering in high school, then you must have written rather mollifying essays,” Castiel supplied, still not looking up from his box. What was he even doing? He hadn’t taken anything  _ out _ of the box yet.

“Possibly.” Dean shrugged, more interested in what Castiel was doing than the conversation he was having with Benny. He looked completely absorbed, as if whatever was in the box was worth all his attention, and the strangers in his room were only secondary to that. It was sort of adorable, for lack of better word. Oh, god. Dean wanted to punch something. This was not happening.

How could someone possibly be so goddamn attractive?

 

~*~

 

Dean Winchester would be the death of him.

Castiel tried to busy himself with leafing through his notebooks and school supplies, but no matter how hard to he tried to distract himself, Dean’s voice kept floating into his ear.

Damn his selective hearing.

“I don’t know about you, but my essay was thrown together in two hours and sent in at the last minute,” Benny rumbled comically. And damn him, too. Castiel had spent  weeks working on his college essay, refining it time and time again until it was perfect. He’d written about Gabriel, and the woes of his childhood living with ‘The Trickster’. The kids at school all had to deal with Gabriel, but they didn’t have to deal with him  _ all day _ . Honestly, Castiel’s surprised he’s even still alive.

“Really?” Dean sounded surprised, his unnatural forest green eyes shining with shock. “I spent days, man.”

“Oh.” Benny shrugged.

There was a lull in the conversation. Castiel was still pretending to paw through his box, which come to think of it, was becoming less and less believable and more and more suspicious. He realized belatedly that he’d taken his glass angel back out of his pocket and was clutching it protectively. He chanced a look up, which was a catastrophic idea because the moment his eyes left his hands they were trapped in the deep pools of Dean’s. Fuck this man. Fuck his stupid green eyes. Fuck his perfectly mussed light brown hair. Fuck his tan skin and toned muscles. Fuck his deep soothing voice. Fuck him.

It simply wasn’t fucking fair.

Castiel could feel the heat rising to the surface of his skin so he quickly looked away, anywhere but at Dean. Unfortunately, he ended up looking straight at Benny who was looking back at him with a peculiar glint in his eyes. Fuck, now he was weirding out his roommate.

“Have you talked to Jo yet?” Dean asked suddenly, thankfully showing some mercy and turning Benny’s attention back to him. Who has Jo? Dean’s girlfriend? Boyfriend? Castiel felt a pang of disappointment. Dammit, he was acting exactly like the clich é d, lovesick character in every cheesy romance novel.

“Nah, I still owe her twenty bucks from that bet.”

“So basically,” Dean started, elongating each word, “you’re hiding from her?” There was a smirk playing on his lips, and Castiel found he couldn’t look away. They looked so soft, Castiel wondered what they would feel like against his own or around his--

No. Damn his lips, he was not thinking about them, not right now. He sighed and got up from the box, placing the sculpture on his desk. He stared at it for a second before changing his mind, walking across the room to perch it on one of the windowsills instead. He didn’t need the reminder of his parents staring at him whenever he worked.

“Brother, I ain’t fucking with a Harvelle.  Yes I’m hiding from her.” So Jo was a girl. Most likely Dean’s girlfriend then. It would make sense for Dean to want to date someone who was strong, from what little Castiel has seen of this man.

“Rule number one of life: don’t fuck with a Harvelle,” Dean stated. “Cas, are you getting this?”

Castiel tilted his head and frowned at Dean. Cas? “Yes.” He decided to say instead, not pointing out the shortened version of his name Dean decided to use. He probably didn’t even realize he was doing it.

“And if Jo ever offers to play a round of poker with you, just say no, okay?”

“Okay?”

“I’m serious, she’ll hustle ya.” Dean looked sincere. Why was he so concerned for Castiel’s well being? He didn’t even know him.

Not that Castiel wasn’t accepting of affection.

“I don’t even know how to play poker,” Castiel admitted. For what it was worth, Dean looked personally offended by the statement.

“How do you not know?” Dean looked at him with a ridiculous frown creasing his face. “How is that even possible?” he asked, looking at Benny. “Who cursed you so that you got a roommate who can’t play poker?”

Castiel gave Dean an affronted look. 

“It never came up before.”

“Well Cas, I’m just gonna have to teach you.” Dean smiled. It made Castiel’s heart ache for a moment.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, well, if it means adding another poker player to the population then I’m all game for it.” Dean grinned, getting up and going over to Benny’s stuff. “Benny, where are your cards?”


	3. Chapter Three

_ 7:22AM  ** To Bitch ** : im tellin u sammy, this guy fuckin hates me _

_ 7:25AM  ** Bitch ** : maybe ur just really awkward, dean. have you thought about that? _

_ 7:26AM  ** Bitch ** : seriously though, i dont think he hates you. he just sounds like a shy guy who panicked _

_ 7:26AM  ** To Bitch ** : right, bc im so terrifying _

_ 7:27AM  ** Bitch ** : you can be _

_ 7:30AM  ** To Bitch ** : u shut ur piehole _

_ 7:31AM  ** Bitch ** : im just saying, give the guy a chance. he seems nice enough _

_ 7:39AM  ** To Bitch ** : yeah, yeah. i got psych now. ttyl bitch _

_ 7:45AM  ** Bitch ** : jerk _

Dean slipped his phone back into his pocket and sighed in frustration. How could he have been so stupid? One moment they were hunting for Benny’s cards, and then the next moment Cas was rushing out of the room with an armful of textbooks and a half-assed excuse. Dean had no idea what he’d done wrong. Clearly Cas -  _ Castiel _ \- thought he had clingy personal issues. Way to make the hot guy think he was insane.

He’d left Benny’s room last night an hour after Castiel had, and then wandered around campus for another few hours, checking out the library, the nearby coffee shop, and even sulkily sitting at the bus stop until people started staring as he missed bus after bus. But he really, really was not in the mood to go back to his room and face Balthazar. By the time he finally returned to his dorm, it was already getting dark out.

Balthazar hadn’t even been in the room.

Dean pushed his thoughts aside as he made his way to Psych 101. It was still so goddamn hot out; he was only wearing a plain white t-shirt, feeling naked without his usual layers. Psych 101 with Professor Singer - an old family friend - was Dean’s very first class of college, and as he walked through the doors and into the gigantic lecture hall, he didn’t know whether to be glad or completely terrified. 

He was a few minutes early, but the hall was still crowded with students, a spare seat being a rarity. Dean surveyed the room, eyebrows furrowed in search of a chair, when he finally found one in the front row, between seats already claimed with bags. Not his first choice of seating, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.

Dean settled into the chair, not particularly caring if it was being saved or not, and pulled out a notebook and pen, silencing his phone. He was still mentally preparing himself for the class when someone cleared their throat beside him. His internal alarms went haywire as he felt tension exuding from the person to his right. With lead in his stomach, he lifted his eyes to see -  _ oh you’ve got to be  _ shitting _ me. _

Fucking Castiel fucking Novak. As if the guy didn’t already hate him enough, Dean probably just took his friend’s seat. Dean stared at Castiel, and maybe Dean could have helped the strangled noise that escaped his lips, but those damn blue eyes behind glasses  \-  _ he really had to find a better word to describe the color of Cas’ eyes - _ wouldn’t stop staring back at him. He couldn’t break it, he  _ had _ to break it.

As if the same thought crossed their minds, they simultaneously looked away from each other. God, if Dean had thought the tension was bad before, he was so unbelievably wrong. Blood was pounding through his head, and he felt as if an elephant had made it’s way into the room and decided Dean’s chest would make a nice seat. Castiel was just so. Fucking. Awkward. Dammit,  _ he _ was being just as bad.  _ Ignore, ignore, ignore _ _,_ his brain was chanting as he felt his face flush.  _ Pretend he’s not even there and everything will be fine. _

He wasn’t sure if he imagined it, but Cas seemed to make a movement to clear his throat right before Professor Singer decided it was a good time to walk into the lecture hall. Dean straightened in his seat with relief.

“You idjits better have your textbooks with you, or you might as well drop the class right now!” Professor Singer grouched loudly. Dean huffed out a laugh. There was the Bobby that Dean knew. It was comforting, and thankfully distracted both him and Castiel, who’d turned away from Dean to give Bobby his full attention.

Dean was doing his damndest not to so much as glance at Castiel. The strain between them was only getting worse, both of them studiously ignoring each other. At one point Dean was tapping his pen so rapidly that it flung out of his fingers and landed on Castiel’s desk, and when your possessions happen to fly into the personal space of the guy who hates you, it makes him a little hard to ignore.

“Sorry,” Dean mumbled as he reached towards Castiel’s desk and took the pen back. Castiel didn’t even let his eyes wander from where they were locked on Professor Singer.

Dean felt like the guy was ignoring him on purpose. He sure as hell knew  _ he _ was intentionally ignoring Castiel. He couldn’t really blame the guy, not after what had happened the night before. Dean had never seen someone run out of a room so fast and with such a crappy excuse - “I… I’m sorry, I really can’t, I promised I’d meet… I have to go.” 

Who the hell  _ says _ that? Even when Dean was in middle school, he’d been able to come up with better excuses than  that . He could still remember the panicked tint to Castiel’s eyes as he fled the room. The guy just really hated him, for whatever godforsaken reason. It hadn’t really mattered anyway, because there was no way in hell Dean was ever going to try and talk to him again. Castiel had made it very clear that he didn’t want to be in his presence. Dean could deal with that.

So what if he wouldn’t get to see those adorable blue eyes – was there even a name for the color of Castiel’s eyes? He’d have to check Wikipedia – or that fluffy nest of black hair, or that tiny bit of scruff that Cas must have forgotten to shave today, but  _ damn _ did it look good. Dean could imagine kissing the scruff on the sides of Castiel’s cheeks, rubbing his own day old stubble against it. He wondered what it would feel like right up against his --

“Winchester!”

Oh, shit.

“Sorry, princess, but attention is required when you enter this class.” Bobby –  _ Professor Singer _ – chastised him. Dean could feel his entire face heating up, the light blush working its way upwards to the top layer of his skin.

Well, at least now he had an excuse for looking flustered.

An excuse that had nothing to do with the filthy things Castiel could probably do with his stubble. Castiel, the guy who absolutely loathed Dean. That guy.

“Sorry, sir.” Dean smirked, knowing full well Bobby would never cross a line with him. It was an unspoken truth between the Winchesters and the Singers. They didn’t fuck with each other. Bobby narrowed his eyes minutely but didn’t say anything else, choosing to glare at him out of the corner of his eye for the remainder of the lecture.

In a way, Dean was grateful for the distraction. If Bobby hadn’t been keeping an eye on him the entire time then there’s no way in hell his thoughts  _ wouldn’t _ have drifted back to where they were before.

Now came the awkward part, though. They both had to get up from their seats and make their way to the  _ same _ door to go in the  _ same _ direction.  _ Fuck my life _ _,_ Dean thought to himself.  _ No, I’d rather just have Cas fuck me _ _,_ a traitorous voice replied. Fuck his overactive imagination.

Dean shuffled his papers together, trying to make it seem as if he was too busy to even notice Castiel, possibly even have forgotten his presence altogether. It was an excellent plan and would have worked if Castiel hadn’t bumped into him as he was walking by, causing Dean’s book and papers to fall to the floor with a crash.

For one terrible second Dean thought Castiel was going to keep walking away, and his heart clenched a little. He couldn’t seriously hate Dean  _ that _ much, could he? 

Apparently not, because in the next moment they were both squatting and reaching for the book at the same time. The sensation that it brought to Dean’s skin when their fingers brushed was unreal. He wasn’t one for chick flick moments but  _ holy shit _ _,_ was this even possible? Could his life get any more cliché?

Castiel quickly shoved the book towards Dean before he pulled his hand back as if he’d been burned, carefully tucking it out of Dean’s reach. Dean tried his best not to feel disappointed by that. He really did. It just didn’t work.

“Thanks,” he mumbled instead.

“You’re welcome.” Castiel responded politely, albeit reluctantly. There was something odd in his eyes when Dean looked up. He couldn’t quite place it, but it was unnerving nonetheless. As soon as Castiel realized he’d been caught looking he looked away again, pushing awkwardly at his glasses and muttering a farewell before taking off. Dean took it as a win that he wasn’t fleeing as swiftly as he had yesterday.

~*~

Castiel had fucked up.  _ Again. _

He already knew Dean must hate him, there was no way he couldn’t. Why did he have to be in the same psych class as Dean? Why couldn’t the universe just give him a goddamn break for once in his life? Was it fair that he had to be so close to those beautiful green eyes and perfect jaw line without being able to smooth his palms over his features? No, the answer was most definitely no.

And then they had to sit next to each other today? Was that really necessary? Castiel was just thankful Balthazar had only raised an eyebrow in confusion when he saw someone in his spot and had found another seat. Next time, he’d make sure Balth got there before Dean did.

For fuck’s sake, he didn’t even know the guy.

Before Castiel could get himself too worked up over the awkward non-interaction his phone vibrated in his pocket.

_ 9:07AM  ** Balthazar ** : way to give out my seat to the first hot guy you saw, cassie _

Was it possible to roll your eyes so far that they got stuck in one spot? That aching question was the only thing that kept him from doing just that.

_ 9:08AM  ** To Balthazar ** : I did no such thing. I was reserving your seat when Dean took it. _

There was a pause, and Cas impatiently waited for Balthazar to respond.

_ 9:10AM  ** Balthazar ** : DEAN? this gorgeous seat thief has a name? _

_ 9:10AM  ** To Balthazar ** : What do you want, Balthazar? _

_ 9:10AM  ** Balthazar ** : his number? _

Castiel decided the best thing to do then was to not respond.

“Cassie!” A voice called from behind him, and a hand clapped down onto his shoulder. Gabriel. “Was that your first class?”

“Yes.”

“And?” Gabriel questioned when Castiel offered no other information.

“It was uncomfortable.” Castiel had expected a reaction out of his older brother, but he hadn’t expected him to start roaring with laughter.

“Well yeah, little bro, it’s  _ college _ _.”_ Gabriel grinned. The way his eyes were lit with interest was worrisome. No, scratch that. Cas has lived with Gabriel his entire life, the look in his eyes was fear inducing.

“What do you want, Gabe?” Gabriel squinted at his little brother for a few minutes, making Castiel shift uncomfortably.

“Who is it?” He questioned, making Castiel’s face burn bright red.  _ Damnit _ _._ Gabe beamed, revealing the small piece of candy that was resting in his mouth. Castiel wrinkled his nose. “Tell me!”

“No one.” Castiel stalled for time. He had absolutely no doubt in his mind that Gabe would force the information out of him eventually. 

“Cassie,” Gabe  _ tsked, _ tightening his hold on Castiel’s shoulder minutely. “You know I’ll find out eventually. You might as well tell me now before I send out feelers to find out for me.”

Castiel really hated his older brother sometimes.

“Deawigsiser.”

“What?” Gabriel squinted at him in confusion.

Castiel took a deep breath before replying once more. “Dean Winchester.” Gabe’s eyes widened like saucers and he stepped back, removing his hand from Castiel’s shoulder. He looked frozen for a moment before his lips curled upwards into a smirk.

Just as Castiel was about to question him, he turned on his heel and headed in the opposite direction. “See ya, Cassie!”

Cas groaned. “Oh, fuck me,” he muttered to himself.

What the hell was Gabe doing? Surely Gabriel didn’t know Dean already. He wouldn’t tell Dean about Cas’ ridiculous… thing for Dean. Gabriel wasn’t that cruel. Gabe was a jerk, and a trickster, and perhaps  _ The Trickster _ _,_ but he would never do something so irrevocably cruel to his little brother.

He could only imagine his brother telling Dean about Castiel’s little crush. Dean would laugh so hard, his bright green eyes would shine with tears. Cas’ fingers twitched, but he had nothing to clutch but air. Cas would become a laughing stock. Surely Dean would tell Benny and then Benny would request a new roommate.

But Castiel didn’t care. No, fuck, that was a lie, Cas cared too goddamn much. Dean Winchester hated him and he knew it, there was no sense in worrying about it. No sense at all.

Oh, he was seriously fucked.


	4. Chapter Four

Two weeks passed and Dean still refused to go back to Benny’s room. Sure, they were best friends and Early Childhood majors, but Dean was _ not _ going to risk running into Castiel again. He’d moved his seat in Psych 101 to the back of the lecture hall, literally on the opposite side of the room from Castiel.

Dean could tell that Benny was getting frustrated by having to go Dean’s dorm almost every day, but Balthazar was barely ever around anyway. Living with Balthazar was actually insanely easy. Dean had expected them to spend more time together, seeing how they hit it off alright in the chat rooms, but apparently real life was a different thing. 

He was starting to regret taking so long to sign up for a dorm room. If he’d just signed up a goddamn week earlier, he could’ve roomed with Benny instead. Then he’d have never met Castiel and his life would be so much easier. But then again, who else would make Dean’s life so complicated?

But living with Balth was just  _ so easy _ _._ He practically had the entire room to himself. And he liked it, even if he had chosen to head back home last weekend. So what? He’d missed Sammy.

“Dean.” Benny nudged him back to reality. “Why don’t we go back to my dorm? Believe it or not, that is a possibility.”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. He really didn’t want to have this conversation. “Yeah, but we have the entire dorm to ourselves here.”

“Castiel keeps to himself,” Benny countered. “You won’t even know he’s there.”

Dean  _ really _ didn’t want to be having this conversation.

“Yeah, but…”

“Brother, your dorm smells funky,” Benny countered before Dean could say anything else.

“No it doesn’t!” He said defensively. “Jo didn’t say it smelt weird.”

“Well it does.” Benny raised a brow and shoved his books into his backpack. “And tomorrow after class, we’re going to my dorm.”

“But – ”

“No fucking buts!” Benny threw over his shoulder as he left the room.

Fuck. He’s been ignoring Castiel for weeks, which had been far more difficult than it should’ve been, and now he’d have to see him tomorrow. All because of freaking Benny.

Oh, and the guy abhorred him. Double fuck.

What the hell had he even done to make Castiel hate him so much? Yeah, he might have been awkward and intruded on his life, but it could’ve been worse. But Fate would have it that as soon as Dean found quite possibly the hottest man alive, said man would end up hating him. Screw Fate.

It would all be so much easier if he could just get the blue eyed angel out of his freaking mind. So fuck him, Cas was getting out of his head. 

Early Childhood was amazing, and all his classes were pretty much what he’d been expecting. He wouldn’t be doing an internship until his junior year, but he was already excited for it. He’d planned it all out. Step one, spend four years in college. Step two, graduate from college. Step three, find a job in Lawrence teaching third graders. Step four, seduce Castiel. Step five, adopt chil –  _ what? _

Fuuucckkkkk.

_ Focus, Winchester! _

Okay. He missed Sam. The two talked pretty much every day, but it wasn’t the same as being together. It had been two weeks, and already he missed his family like crazy. A voice suddenly piped up behind him, and Dean jumped.

“You look like shit,” Balthazar said by way of greeting.

“Dude! Quit doing that.. thing. How come I never hear you come in?”

“Probably because you’re always staring longingly at that blank wall,” Balth replied dryly.

“Fuck you.”

“Ah, I don’t think it’s me that you’re dreaming about.” Balthazar muttered, not for the first time. In fact, it’d been happening more and more often lately. Out of the few spare moments that Dean ever even saw his roommate, there was always a strange, underhanded mutter.

“Excuse me?”

“Yes?” Balthazar asked impatiently.

“What did you –” Dean sighed. “Never mind.”

“I’m going to a friend’s apartment for the week.” Balth said, picking up an already packed bag. “Call me if the building catches fire.”

How was it that Dean always ended up alone? Honestly, he spent more time on his own than he spent around other people, and it was driving him a little insane.

So that’s how the next day Dean found himself awkwardly loitering outside of Benny and Cas’s dorm room. He’d had another lecture right after his class with Benny that day, so he couldn’t just walk in with his best friend. Nerves, that’s what was killing him right now. All he had to do was knock on the door, one of them would open it and then he could work on his project with Benny. Simple enough.

Wrong. For whatever reason, the universe had decided that  now was an excellent time to let Dean’s resolve to jelly. Knocking on the door? Not going to happen.

“Dean?”

Shit.

 

~*~

 

Castiel had just been coming back from CPR training (even though he was already certified) when he saw Dean waiting in the hall. Right in front of Castiel’s room. Of course. 

“Dean?” Cas asked hesitantly once he was close enough.

Slowly, almost cautiously, Dean turned around to face him. His eyes were panicked for a brief moment before he schooled his features into something calmer.

“Heya, Cas.” Dean gave a noncommittal wave. “I was just about to knock. Benny wanted me to come over to work on a project, do you know if he’s in there or not?”

“I don’t know,” Castiel murmured, pushing past Dean to unlock the door. He could feel warmth from Dean’s body radiating off of him as he twisted the key. A shiver worked its way through his body before he could prevent it. Shit.

Benny was revealed to be sitting on the edge of his bed, typing away furiously on his laptop. He didn’t even look up when the door opened, he was so transfixed.

Cas had to clear his throat three times before Benny even heard him.

“What? Oh, hey Castiel!” Benny looked flustered, which really was understandable. “Dean, get your ass over here, I want you to read this essay.”

Thank god. That was enough of an excuse to not have to speak to Dean again. Because fuck him. Fuck him and his sexy red flannel and what the hell? Was that an amulet around his neck? Fuck him for being able to pull that off.

Dean gave him an apologetic look, which was weird, but then he was at Benny’s desk reading over Benny’s shoulder. Cas decided not to dwell on it.

“You hungry, Castiel?” Benny asked. Was he offering to go out and get him food or did he want Castiel to go with him and Dean somewhere?

“Somewhat.” That was a safe enough answer, right?

“I’m gonna head down to the cafeteria. I’ll get you a burger, okay?” Castiel nodded his thanks, before he realized what that meant.

“Can you get me a burger, too?” Dean asked, looking up from the laptop.

“As if I didn’t already know what you wanted, brother.” Benny looked from Dean and back to Castiel. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Don’t let Dean trash the place.”

Castiel tried for a smile that probably came off as forced because Benny mouthed an apology before leaving. Fuck.

At first neither of them said anything. Castiel sat at his own desk, across the room from Dean, and Dean just kept reading. The silence between them was becoming increasingly tense, both of them too stubborn to say anything.

It was after ten long minutes of silence that Castiel caved. 

“Why are you here?” To say that Dean looked shocked by the question would be an understatement.

“Um. Benny thinks my dorm smells weird so he’s making me go to his dorm instead of mine.” Oh. “Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair soon enough.”  _ Oh _ _._ That’s not…that’s not what he meant. Crap, now he seemed like even more of a dick.

“Okay,” Is all he could manage to say without saying anything stupid, like  _ please kiss me right fucking now _ or something irresponsible like that.

The tension only got worse after that, except now there was a tinge of anger in the air. It made Castiel feel bitter, which was something he loathed to feel, but it kept him from staring at Dean, so was all for the better. Occasionally he’d get the feeling that he was being watched, but every time he glanced up, Dean would be staring back at the laptop screen with his eyes set hard.

There was a sound of the key clicking in the lock before the door was shifted open, and the pressure seeped slightly out of the room as Benny entered, dropping a bag of food down on Castiel’s desk.

“Sorry it took me so long, the line was massive,” Benny cringed. Neither Castiel or Dean responded, each still basking in irritation. It took less than a second for Benny to realize something was wrong. 

“Do you -” He paused, looking from Dean to Cas and back again. “Do you two know each other?”

“No!” Castiel and Dean both exclaimed at the same time.  _ Damn him for copying me _ _,_ Castiel thought to himself. It was way too hasty of an answer for it not to have been suspicious and Castiel knew it. Benny looked at them skeptically, maintaining eye contact with each of them for longer than was strictly respectable. Well, it wasn’t technically a lie.

“Whatever you say.”

 

~*~

 

“Winchester!” Dean was headed back to his dorm after a long day of classes, when he heard a familiar voice call out his name and he spun in his tracks.

“Harvelle.”

“Ha ha.” Jo rolled her eyes playfully. “I have to talk to you.”

Dean was immediately alarmed. The Harvelle’s “I need to talk to you” was basically code for “you’re about to die”. Or on a really bad day, “you’re going to wish you could die”.

“What is it?” Dean didn’t even attempt to keep the concerned waver out of his voice.

“Come with me for a minute.” She grabbed his hand, which she really shouldn’t have been doing anymore. Dean had lost many potential girlfriends and boyfriends for this exact reason. He was openly bisexual in high school, but letting Jo hold his hand all the time always ruined his chances of getting a date.

Once they were safely standing in the middle of a sketchy alley, Jo finally burned her eyes into Dean’s with mischievous intent. “You like Castiel Novak.”

_ What? _

“Umm…” Jo hadn’t even phrased it as a question. She knew that Dean liked Cas, which meant that there was no way in hell Dean would be able to deny it. Not when Jo meant business. 

“You do,” she said triumphantly. She was grinning. “Don’t even try to deny it, Dean.”

“I’m not denying it.” Dean said defensively.

“Good, because I’m not taking your bullshit today.” Jo placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know you don’t like talking about feelings, but we’re going to anyway.”

“How did you know I even..?”

“Benny texted me yesterday saying you and Castiel had so much UST he was going to puke.”

“UST?”

“Unresolved Sexual Tension,” Jo provided. “Don’t worry, we’re gonna change that.”

“Oh no we’re not.” Dean gathered his remaining bravado quickly. “You are not messing with my love life any more than you already are.”

“Your ‘love life’, huh?” Jo smirked.

“I never – ” Dean sighed resignedly, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. “Just don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

“Why, Dean,” Jo feigned looking offended. “I would  _ never _ do anything of the sorts.”

 

~*~

 

“Guys!” Jo slammed open the door, making Balthazar wince. 

“Watch it, that door’s mahogany.”

Jo sent a glare Balthazar’s way and continued. “I got Dean to admit he likes Castiel.”

Gabriel grinned from across his kitchen and stuck a lollipop into his mouth.  “Operation Get-Together is a go.”

“... We need a better name.”

“Oh, get over yourself, Balthy,” Gabe said, tossing the wrapper at him.

Balthazar grinned, taking a handful of sweets from the bowl on the counter and throwing them at Gabe in retaliation.

The maniacal whooping that ensued echoed through Gabriel’s apartment, but their plan was too sweet to be evil.


	5. Chapter Five

_ There better be a damn good reason for this _ _,_ Dean thought to himself as he made his way towards his Psych lecture hall. Jo had texted him an hour ago with explicit instructions to meet her there at seven PM, which was just all sorts of weird. It was just starting to get chilly at night, allowing Dean to shrug on his favorite brown leather jacket over a blue flannel. God, he’d missed flannel season.

The lights in the halls were off, giving the building a semi-creepy vibe.  _ Why the hell did Jo want to meet here? _ Thankfully, the lecture hall was fairly close to the front entrance. No one else was in the halls either, which made the whole thing even creepier.

When Dean opened the door to the lecture hall he was surprised to see that the only person in the entire hall was not Jo, but none other than Castiel fucking Novak. Dean immediately tensed. This was not supposed to be happening.  _ What the fuck? _

Castiel was having a similar reaction; his blue eyes were wide with vibrant shock, body stiffening the moment he set those eyes on Dean. Just the sight of him made Dean’s heart drum to furious life in his chest, pounding into his ribcage with dangerous force. God  _ damnit _ _,_ Castiel would be the death of him. Too bad the blue eyed beauty hated him.

Their eyes had connected as soon as Dean entered the hall, drawn to the others’ piercing gaze. Neither of them seemed to be able to look away, too caught up in the mixture of emotions that blatant eye contact brought them.

_ What the fuck was going on? _ Dean thought to himself for what must have been the hundredth time since walking in just 5 seconds ago. He was reluctant to tear away his gaze, unable to gather the willpower to look away from the man that always managed to wander into his thoughts. Not only in his waking moments, but dreams too. Those fucking dreams when Cas would take Dean to his room and shove him onto the bed, only to –

_ Nope .  Not a good time, Winchester. _ Castiel had full frontal vision. Definitely not a good time to get aroused. The seconds stretched on, neither of them moving at all. This much eye contact would’ve been awkward if it had been with anyone else, but something about Castiel’s presence relaxed Dean, made him less self-conscious, while at the same time heightened all his senses madly.

Eventually, like all good things, the spell was broken. Castiel blushed, the red tint working its way upwards from his neck, and he cleared his throat unnecessarily.

“Dean,” His voice sounded slightly deeper than usual, the gravelly tone dropping further than seemed possible. “What are you doing here?”

Dean cleared his throat as Castiel had, again unnecessarily. “I’m supposed to meet Jo here, but…” Dean surveyed the room once again but just as before, Castiel was the only one there. “She’s not here yet.”

Castiel nodded his head absentmindedly, seemingly lost in thought. “I was meant to meet Balthazar here before we went to the movies, but he does not appear to be here either.”

Huh? “Balthazar?”

“Yes. He’s – ” Castiel was cut off as the double doors to the lecture hall were thrown open, and a short, blonde man with a clearly overinflated sense of ego strutted into the hall.

“Listen up, home dogs,” he began, a satisfied smirk gracing his features. “You two are in for the best weekend of your lives.”

Dean could practically feel Castiel groan.

“Gabriel.  _ What _ did you do?” 

Gabriel - the name was familiar - Gabriel . It suddenly clicked, and stories of all the pranks he’d pulled flooded Dean’s mind. This was  _ The Trickster _ _._ The dude was a legend at KU, but he’d never known him personally. Apparently Castiel did.

“Don’t you worry, Cassie,” Gabe grinned, simultaneously sending a taunting wink Dean’s way.

“Gabriel,” Castiel warned, getting up from where he was perched on top of a desk, and approaching The Trickster.

“Nuh-uh, Cassie,” Gabe  _ tsked _ _,_ looking high off power. “There are certain rules that must be followed. Play the roles  _ destiny _ has chosen for you, and you’ll be fine.”

Fuck. He was getting pranked, wasn’t he? There was no other reason for The Trickster to be taking interest in him.

“I’m going to lock both of you in this classroom until you sort out your undying feelings for each other,” Gabriel grinned. Oh no. Nonononono.  _ No . _  “Seeing how you’re both reluctant shit heads, this could take a while. For this exasperating reason, I’m willing to keep you here all weekend.”

“You wouldn’t.” Castiel glared.

“Oh yes I would, little bro.”  _ What?  _ Little bro? How could someone so… so outlandish be related to someone like Castiel?

Castiel looked up at the ceiling with exasperation, before sending another heated glare at his brother. “You wouldn’t keep us here all weekend.”

Gabriel seemed to deliberate this for a few moments, so Dean took the time to mouth over to Castiel, “This is your brother?” His only response was a grimace that clearly said “Yes. Unfortunately.”

“Fine,” The Trickster rolled his eyes. “All night, then.”

When Dean looked over to Castiel, he saw that the man had set his lips into a tight line and was squinting intensely at his older brother, as if debating whether or not they’d really be there all night. Then something shifted in his eyes, and fuck, Dean knew his answer.

“Fuck this, there’s no way I’m spending my night locked in a lecture hall. I’m out,” Dean rumbled, pushing past Gabriel. His hand was on the door, ready to leave, when Gabriel spoke up.

“I wouldn’t do that, Dean-o.” There was a freaking smirk in the guy’s voice, and Dean hesitated. “Remember Rhonda Hurley? Those gorgeous photos she took of you?” Instantly, Dean’s gut filled with dread. Shit. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck.  No .

“Wouldn’t it be a shame if they were found covering the school grounds tomorrow?” Gabe was baiting him and he knew it, but  _ fuck _ _,_ he couldn’t take his chances. He had no doubt that The Trickster would be able to find those pictures, no doubt at all. He was a fucking legend for this reason.

Dean visibly swallowed, retracting his hand from the heavy wooden door. He could feel his own blush flaming across his skin. God, those pictures were from sophomore year in high school, when he’d still been in the middle of puberty. He quickly glanced at Castiel, which was a mistake because the guy looked confused but also…endeared?  _ Great .  _

“Fuck you,” Dean spat out, already admitting defeat. He conceded to lean against the doorframe, wanting to be no closer to either of the Novaks than he already was.

“Ah,” Gabe grinned as if getting ready for a pronounced comeback. “Wrong Novak.”

To say Dean didn’t choke at hearing those words would be a tremendous lie. His traitorous eyes immediately singled out Castiel, which really had been a terrible mistake, because Castiel’s chest was rising and falling much quicker than what was considered normal.  _ Fuck _ _,_ he was probably disgusted by Gabriel’s innuendo.

“Anyway,” The Trickster elongated the word, eyes darting from Castiel (who was now staring intently at the ground) and back to Dean. “Cough up your phones, I don’t need anyone trying to bail you out.”

Reluctantly, Dean complied. He hated this, he hated feeling like he didn’t have control. Those photos though, they were the only things preventing him from just storming out of the hall. If those photos were to make it onto campus… It would be over.

Castiel gave over his phone easily enough. He certainly didn’t thrust it into The Trickster’s hand with animal force like Dean had, but he  _ had _ muttered a “Go to hell,” and that must’ve counted for something.

“See you two muttonheads soon,” Gabriel kicked the doors open from behind him. “And no fucking on the desks.” That wasn’t all though, because just as the doors were about to close he shouted out, “Remember the photos Dean!”

To say that the silence that followed was awkward would be an understatement. From outside the door, Dean distinctly heard Jo’s voice whispering, “What photos?”

Gabriel’s response couldn’t be heard, but the uproarious laughter of Jo and Benny echoed into the hall. Fuck them. Dean didn’t dare look up from the floor at Castiel. “Holy shit.” Was that Balthazar? Why was Dean’s roommate in on this?

When Dean gathered enough courage to look up at Castiel, he was met with deep set confusion. Oh  _ god _ _,_ he was probably trying to figure out what those pictures were of, what Dean was doing in them. To his dying day, Dean would never tell a soul.

 

~*~

 

_ Two hours _ _._ Two long-ass goddamn hours later, neither of them had uttered a single word. Dean had taken up residence lying across the top of a couple desks in the back row while Cassie was busy – writing? Sketching? Who knew what his little bro was into now – in the front row with some paper and a pencil he’d found. Gabriel knew he’d keep them there all night if he had to, but really? Could they really be that thick?

After Gabriel had made his majestic exit and patted himself on the back for his brilliant performance, the sonsabitches had both just sorta stood there for at least twenty minutes before Cassie had rolled his neck in irritation and descended the stairs towards the front row of desks. After that Dean had just lay down onto a few desks and tried to take a  _ nap _ _._ Another twenty minutes and Benny and Balthazar had taken their leave, Balthy arguing that he needed his beauty sleep because “his face took more than four hours to perfect”. Gabriel snorted at the thought. Amateurs. He and Jo were the only ones left. He’d have to change his mind about Balth taking Business - Balthy  _ had _ befriended Jo, and she was a good find. But even she was beginning to doze off at the base of the doors, while Gabe remained crouched with his eyes still peering into the room.

Suddenly, there was a movement as Dean stretched before slowly heading towards the front row, where Castiel was still furiously scribbling onto his piece of paper. Gabriel pressed his face against the glass in excitement, kicking Jo.

“Ow! What was that for?” Jo grumbled, rousing from her sleep.

“Shut up! Something’s happening!”

“You’re the one who fucking kicked me,” she grumbled, but got up and peered through the window of the other door.

Dean had sat besides Cassie and brought his hands down on the table, causing Cassie to jump and push at his glasses. Gabe had his ear right up to the door, straining to hear their conversation.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

Of course Dean-o would make that assumption. As Gabe said earlier, thick.

“I – I don’t hate you. You hate me.”

Jo had finally perked up, and they grinned at each other in glee. The fun was beginning.

“No,” Dean corrected, this time leaning in. “You hate me.”

“I don’t.” Gabe saw Castiel tighten his jaw from all the way across the room. “You hate me.”

“No, you hate me.”

“No,  _ you _ hate  _ me _ _._ ” Castiel was looking more than mildly irritated at this point. Gabe was beyond ecstatic.

_ “ No,  _ you _ hate  _ me _! _ _”_ Dean almost yelled it, his voice rising. He jumped out of his seat, looming over the other man. Castiel stood too, rising to his full height a few feet away from Dean.

“No, you’re fucking hot!”

Silence.

Gabriel and Jo’s mouths dropped in unison. Dean stood there, shell-shocked. Poor Cassie looked mortified.

Gabe shook his head and grinned. “Well, fuck me sideways. We did it.”

 

~*~

 

_ No _ _._ Castiel did not just say what he thought he did.  _ He didn’t _ _._ Dean was gaping at him, his expression unreadable except for the clear shock. Just before Castiel started well and truly panicking, Dean’s expression smoothed over as he locked his concentrated eyes with his own.

Castiel didn’t dare say a word, not wanting to face the imminent threat of a pissed off Dean Winchester. Dean didn’t take his eyes off him though, only straying from Castiel’s own eyes once towards his lips before darting back up.

Dean licked his lips, causing Castiel to do the same out of instinct. Dean’s eyes tracked the movement. Castiel wanted nothing more than to taste those lips for himself. Not that he’d ever find out what Dean Winchester tasted like, not after this. Damn Gabriel. Damn Gabriel to the pits of hell.

“You know, Cas,” Dean cleared his throat, voice husky, his eyes not straying from Castiel’s. “Last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid."

All the air rushed out of Castiel at the sound of those words.  _ What? _

Castiel could feel Dean lean in closer, inch by inch, tantalizingly slow, eyes never breaking contact with his. He could see Dean’s lust-blown eyes, could feel Dean’s body radiating heat. He shut his eyes and took in a short, shuddering breath.

“Cas,” Dean murmured.

A finger gently tilted his chin upwards. His eyes fluttered open, and he was engulfed by Dean’s eyes. Green, so much green -

“Can I kiss you, Cas?”

Feeling like his heart was about to burst from his chest, he nodded furiously.

He needn’t worry long because in the length of time it took him to blink, Dean’s mouth was pressed against his own. The first thought tracing the surface of his mind was,  _ soft, so impeccably soft _ _._ Kissing Dean was like nothing he’d ever experienced before. The slide of lips was effortless, Dean’s shaping perfectly with his own.

It was over just as quickly as it began, Dean pulling back by mere millimeters, his breath pulsing lightly over Castiel’s lips. He didn’t dare open his eyes.

“ _ Cas _ _,_ ” Dean whispered, so quiet and glorified that in that moment Castiel could have died a happy man. Slowly, he peeked through his lashes.

“I really don’t hate you at all.” Castiel whispered the words so quietly he was almost surprised by the lazy grin that graced Dean’s face when they were left in the air between them.

“I don’t hate you either,” Dean replied. 

This time, Castiel was the one who leaned in, pushing his glasses to the top of his head and placing a kiss to Dean’s lips. For the first moment Dean seemed surprised. Just as he was about to pull away and apologize, Dean’s arms snaked around his waist and pulled him closer, responding in kind to the kiss.

“In fact,” Dean pulled away slightly to allow Castiel to speak, but his arms still stayed hooked around Castiel’s middle. “I think I’m starting to grow quite fond of you.” 

Dean grinned and locked their lips once more for a quick peck.

“I guess that’s a good thing because I happen to think you’re pretty fucking hot, too.” 

Castiel didn’t know who initiated the kiss that time but they were once more connected before he could formulate a reply. 

“But it’s not just that,” Dean’s voice grew serious. “I like  _ you _ _._ I like how you always give Bobby’s lectures your 100%; how you have a huge box just filled with books that you keep next to your bed; how you always think about Benny’s weird ass rules before doing anything - like what the hell man,  _ no one _ does that, you’re putting me to shame here; how you put up with my shit even though you thought I hated you. God Cas,” Dean stopped, his eyes alight and overwhelmed. 

He blinked. “Fuck, that was cheesy.”

“ _ Dean _ _._ ” A small laugh bubbled from Castiel. 

He had no idea how to respond to that. Not once in his entire life had someone said something like that to him. There weren’t words to express how Dean’s confession made him feel, how utterly  _ happy _ it made him. He reached forwards to touch Dean’s cheek gently, tracing down his jawline to his lips, and smiled.

“Can I kiss you again, Dean?”

Dean grinned.

“Hell yeah.”

And then they were kissing again, kissing each other with everything they had. The kiss began gently, the slow languid search of each other, the cautious interest and attention; but it wasn’t long before the kiss turned heated, and Castiel began licking his way into Dean’s mouth.

_ This isn’t happening _ _,_ Castiel kept chanting in his mind,  _ there’s no way I’m not dreaming _ _._ But it was happening. Dean tightened his hold on Castiel, pulling him impossibly closer, yet it still wasn’t close enough.  _ Weeks _ _,_ they’d gone  _ weeks _ thinking each other hated them. And for what? Unnecessary angst?

It wasn’t until Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck that Dean let out a moan, a fucking  _ moan _ _._ Castiel had half a mind to stop, to pull away and stare at the green eyed beauty he was kissing at this - very - moment. The other half of his mind won.  _ God, Dean was just so warm _ _._ A fleeting thought of the two of them cuddled together on snowy winter nights flitted through Castiel’s mind, but was essentially diminished when he felt Dean’s hands shift lower.

Castiel almost yelped in surprise when Dean’s hands snuck downwards to fit snugly around his ass, finding their way into the pockets of his jeans. He let out a moan of his own, running the tips of his fingers through Dean’s hair. Castiel could barely remember that they were in a lecture hall, and not just any lecture hall, but the one he had to attend twice a week. Still, the thought didn’t stop him from tightening his grip on Dean’s neck and guiding him backwards. He kept guiding Dean, who complied easily, until Dean was sitting on top of a desk, his legs wrapped around Castiel’s waist.

It was hard to ignore Dean’s hardness, with it pressing so insistently against Castiel’s own. Their location was becoming less and less important to Castiel, his focus narrowing down to Dean and Dean alone. The hands on his ass were starting to kneed curiously, the initial surprise causing Castiel to buck forward slightly. They both moaned at the same time, the feel of their erections pressing together almost too much.

Castiel was so focused and so out of it that he hadn’t even heard the doors burst open.

“Oh  _ hell _ no,” Gabe pulled Castiel backwards, away from Dean who was hunched over slightly, taking labored breaths. “I am not watching my little bro get it on. Save the passionate sex for after your first date.”

Castiel groaned, cursing his infernal brother with every damnation he knew. Dean looked as if he was close to committing murder, which really wasn’t all that unusual a look to be thrown at The Trickster.

“Gabriel,” Castiel warned. “I think it’s time you left.”

“Nuh-uh, Cassie.”

“And why the hell not?” Dean asked with a hint of anger.

“Because one, my eyes are dying, and two, we’re not letting Castiel get laid without going on a date first.” Jo walked in, narrowing her eyes at Dean. Castiel had met her once through Balthazar, but only now did he understand what Dean had meant when he’d said not to fuck with a Harvelle.

“Fine,” Dean looked at Castiel, his expression changing drastically. Castiel felt his entire being warm at that look, his heart go soft. “Cas, would you like to go to lunch with me tomorrow?”

The grin that broke free from his lips couldn’t have been stopped, even if he he’d tried. 

“I’d love to.”


	6. Chapter Six

Dean was sitting at one of the outdoor tables at Grace Café, KU’s most frequented café, waiting for Castiel to show up. He’d been so worried about being late that he was now twenty minutes early. Which gave him time to clear his head so he didn’t fuck this up. That was the last thing he wanted to do, not after admitting his feelings for Castiel. And goddamn, they were reciprocated. Dean was practically high off of life right now.

Except for the fact that there were still nineteen more minutes until Castiel was supposed to meet him, and he was still freaking out. He clamped down the urge to continue tapping the table, and pulled his phone from his pocket with a sigh.

_ 12:11PM  ** To Bitch ** : heya sammy _

_ 12:12PM  ** Bitch ** : what’s wrong dean _

_ 12:12PM  ** To Bitch ** : what do u mean whats wrong. nothins wrong _

_ 12:13PM  ** Bitch ** : you ignore my texts for the past few days and now you’re all “heya sammy”? wtf dean _

_ 12:13PM  ** Bitch ** : plus it’s right in the middle of lunch y aren’t u stuffing ur face _

_ 12:14PM  ** To Bitch ** : i wasnt ignoring ur txts _

_ 12:17PM  ** To Bitch ** : sam _

_ 12:21PM  ** To Bitch ** : fuckin hell sam _

_ 12:22PM  ** To Bitch ** : fine. im waiting for my date _

_ 12:24PM  ** Bitch ** : still doesn’t explain u ignoring me _

_ 12:25PM  ** To Bitch ** : i was busy making him not hate me _

_ 12:25PM  ** Bitch ** : and busy sulking, evidently _

_ 12:25PM  ** Bitch ** : wait busy making him not hate u? _

_ 12:26PM  ** Bitch ** : is this who i think it is _

_ 12:26PM  ** Bitch ** : the guy u’ve spent the past WEEKS tryna avoid? _

_ 12:27PM  ** Bitch ** : THAT’s how u were gonna ‘make him not hate you’? _

_ 12:27PM  ** Bitch ** : u r such a massive idiot dean _

_ 12:28PM  ** To Bitch ** : shut up sammy _

_ 12:28PM  ** Bitch ** : u said ur on a date w/ him now?? _

_ 12:29PM  ** To Bitch ** : in like, 1 min _

_ 12:30PM  ** Bitch ** : wow. what happened to make him not hate you? bc it defs wasn’t u _

Dean rolled his eyes.

_ 12:31PM  ** To Bitch ** : jo happened. and my roomm8. and cas’ brother. i think everyone was in on it, tbh. jo and balth r sittin a few tables behind me _

_ 12:31PM  ** Bitch ** : oh so he’s CAS now is he _

_ 12:31PM  ** Bitch ** : say hi to jo for me _

_ 12:31PM  ** To Bitch ** : cant. im pretending idk theyre there. they think theyre sneaky _

_ 12:32PM  ** Bitch ** : well they did get u two together didnt they _

_ 12:32PM  ** Bitch ** : anyways, aren’t u supposed to be on ur date now? _

_ 12:33PM  ** To Bitch ** : yeah _

_ 12:34PM  ** Bitch ** : don’t worry, he’s probably just late _

_ 12:35PM  ** To Bitch ** : yeah, ur right _

_ 12:36PM  ** To Bitch ** : he’s never usually late tho _

_ 12:36PM  ** Bitch ** : relax, dean. he’ll show up _

_ 12:37PM  ** To Bitch ** : yeah _

_ 12:38PM  ** To Bitch ** : shit, hes almost 10 mins late _

_ 12:39PM  ** To Bitch ** : even jo and balth look worried. crapcrapcrap _

_ 12:39PM  ** Bitch ** : dean. calm down _

_ 12:39PM  ** To Bitch ** : crap he’s here sammy ttyl _

_ 12:40PM  ** Bitch ** : told u so dean. have fun u jerk _

_ 12:40PM  ** To Bitch ** : bitch _

Castiel was searching the café, eyes scanning the crowd frantically. Dean’s heart did a little  pit-pat at the sight of the blue eyed beauty. But he was allowed to do that now. He didn’t have to stop the excitement from bleeding into his eyes, he didn’t have to worry about disgusting a man he thought hated him. Castiel didn’t hate him, and god, was it the best feeling.

His glasses were crooked again, and his backpack was slung half-heartedly over one shoulder, looking to fall off and maybe even take Castiel with it. Dean waved his hand in the air, immediately drawing Castiel’s attention. The moment his eyes met Dean’s he visibly relaxed somewhat, hurrying over to Dean and slumping into the seat across.

_ Thank god he didn’t ditch _ , Dean thought to himself, pushing away the small insecurity.

It was as he was sliding over a menu that his heart sunk a little. Castiel was here, sure, but he was also nose deep inside a textbook. The sight of the textbook getting more of Castiel’s attention than himself irked him more than he cared to admit. He also wouldn’t admit how cute he thought Castiel looked while studying.

“Cas,” Dean drawled, but Castiel didn’t even register his name. “ _ Cas _ ,” Still no response, “Earth to Castiel Novak.” Dean patted him on the cheek, forcing Castiel’s attention away from the textbook. He blinked, as if only just now remembering where he was and why.

“Oh. Hello, Dean.” He smiled genuinely. Dean returned the smile, prying the textbook out of Castiel’s hands and replacing it with the café menu. Castiel huffed in annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest. This was a side of him Dean had never seen before, and to put it lightly, it was  _ adorable _ . Cas opened his mouth to speak, but Dean quickly cut him off before he could make a sound.

“Cas. This is a date. You don’t bring textbooks to dates.” Castiel huffed, leaning down towards his backpack, probably to retrieve another textbook. “Don’t even try getting any studying done this lunch.” Cas froze like he’d been caught, and Dean laughed.

“It’s just for an hour, alright? You needa relax, man.”

Castiel scowled at him, but it quickly twitched into a smile. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Dean nudged him under the table. It was barely two seconds of contact, but it still sent a shiver down his back. “College is important to you, I’ve gathered?”

“Yes. I’m attending KU on a full scholarship. If I don’t keep my grades up, then the scholarship is gone.”  _ Whoa, hold up _ . Dean knew Cas was smart, but a full goddamn ride through college? Seriously? Dean whistled.

“That’s rough,” Dean tried to keep his voice light, even though he was a bit overwhelmed that this was the same man he’d been making out with yesterday. “Are you a psych major?”

“No.” Castiel’s eyes brightened. “I’m in the medical program. I hope to become a doctor some day.” Dean could practically see Castiel imagining his future at that very moment. “But I’m also minoring in psychology. I want to help people.”

That was…admirable. If Dean looked at Castiel, really looked at him, he could see it; the thriving energy and yearning, the need to help. All it did was make Castiel seem more amazing.

“How about you, Dean? What do you want to do?”

“Well, I’m not smart enough to be a doctor, that’s for sure,” Dean joked, only somewhat registering the frown that graced Castiel’s face at his words. “I want to be a teacher, somewhere around third grade. I’m an early childhood major, but I’m minoring in psychology, too. I’ve always been fascinated by the mind.”

They lapsed into silence, neither of them really sure what to do then. It had been easy last night when they were making out and alone, but now that there were other people around…it was getting awkward. And he could  _ feel _ Jo and Batlhazar’s eyes on them.

“Can I have my textbook back?” Castiel asked after another few moments of silence. Dean rolled his eyes and pushed the book farther out of Castiel’s reach.

“This is a date, Cas, remember? Besides, if you stress too much you won’t be able to remember anything that you read.”

Castiel squinted at him.

“I suppose you’re right,” he finally conceded, eyes locking back onto the textbook. “Dean. What do you want me to do then?”

When was the last time this guy had been on a date? He must have been on at least one before. Just going by the way he  _ kissed _ Dean last night.

“Cas,” Dean smiled, nudging the menu closer to Castiel’s hands. “Maybe, and I could be wrong here, but maybe you should take a look at the menu?”

Cas glanced down at the menu with a frown. 

“I’d like a burger, Dean.”

Dean laughed, waving over the waiter.

“Two burgers, please. And a coffee for me, and... water?” He sent Cas a questioning glance; Cas nodded his head. 

“And a water. That’ll be all, thanks.” 

The waiter smiled and left, leaving Cas to squirm awkwardly again, unable to hide behind his textbook. Squirming just like last night, when Cas had confessed to something. Dean grinned mischievously.

“So, you think I’m hot?”

Castiel’s blue eyes turned huge, widening in alarm. He stammered for a few moments, his mouth opening slightly and then closing. Gathering himself, he set his jaw as if preparing for battle. 

“Yes. I find you rather aesthetically pleasing.” It was the blunt tone if nothing else that caused Dean to erupt into a fit of laughter; his whole body involved, head thrown back and his back arched, wheezing and slapping his knee. When Dean finally gathered himself and stopped laughing he could see the distress on Castiel’s face.

“”s not you, don’t look so worried” He choked out. “Just wasn’t expecting that is all.” Dean smiled broadly, resting his hand on top of Castiel’s across the table. That must have worked because slowly Castiel started grinning, clearly pleased at making Dean laugh like that.

“If I remember correctly,” Castiel began hesitantly, looking up through his eyelashes. “You said  _ I _ was ‘pretty freaking hot’.”

A grin unfurled on Dean’s lips. “Well, I’d be lying if I said otherwise.”

“Are you always like this?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know.” Castiel looked stumped, cocking his head sideways and gazing at Dean.

“Then how can you ask me if I’m always like this?” Dean said teasingly, the small smile on his lips betraying the words.

“Dean Winchester,” Castiel narrowed his eyes, mocking a serious voice. “Are you attempting to flirt with me?”

“Not at all,” Dean responded in an equally serious – totally unserious – voice.

“Good, because if you were then I would tell you that you’re doing it all wrong.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Well,” Castiel began, raking his eyes over Dean once more. “For example, if I were to try and flirt with  you , I’d probably compliment you on your choice of plaid; it brings out your eyes very nicely. I’d probably say that your eyes are the brightest green I’d ever had the pleasure of witnessing. They remind me of candy apples and forests. And I’d try to make you blush. If I were flirting with you, that is.”

Dean was sitting with his mouth slightly opened at this point, slightly shocked as Castiel leaned forward, inching closer into his personal space before he continued albeit in a whisper. “I’d get you so that you couldn’t think of anything else other than last night; the way you moaned as we kissed, your cock hardening when I pressed my own against it. I’d make you get so flustered you’d have to look away.”

And  _ god fucking damnit _ , because that’s exactly what Dean did.

Their waiter had impeccable timing because he chose that exact moment to bring them their drinks. Dean could feel himself blushing like a whore in a church house, heat bubbling to the surface of his skin. “Thank you,” Castiel said, leaning back into his chair and taking an over exaggerated sip of his water. He licked his lips and grinned broadly at Dean. God, Cas  _ knew _ what he was doing to Dean.

As soon as the waiter left, Dean was leaning forward and kicking Castiel under the table. Castiel started to yelp in surprise but Dean was already talking over him. “What the fuck was that?”

“I believe it’s called a flirtation.” Castiel looked confused, tilting his head to the left again.

“That was  _ not _ flirting, Cas.” Dean was trying to keep himself in check, too flustered by Castiel’s words. “Maybe the beginning. Definitely not the second part. Fuck, that was straight dirty talk.”

“Really?”

“Yes really!”

“Oh,” Castiel looked away, but there was still something triumphant in the way he sat. “I’m sorry then.”

“No you aren’t,” Dean guessed. He must have been right because suddenly Castiel was grinning.

“You’re right, I’m not.”

“You’re such a little shit, you know that Cas?” Dean laughed despite himself, disbelief that this was even happening.

“I’ve lived with The Trickster my entire life, Dean.” There was amusement playing in Castiel’s eyes. “Do you really think you can handle me?”

It was a challenge, Dean knew that, but there was no way in hell he wasn’t going to accept it. Castiel was a mystery to him, and Dean would be damned if he didn’t at least try.

“Bring it on.”

Cas smiled genuinely. “Good. Fair warning though, my best friend’s the only one who’s ever been able to handle the both of us. He even helps Gabe with the pranking all the time,” Cas said, making a face.

“Who’s your best friend?” Dean would not admit the little pang of jealousy he felt then. Mostly because it made him feel like a dick.

“Balthazar.”

Dean barely held back the urge to spit his coffee all over the table.  _ What? _ Balthazar??

“Dean. Are you alright?” Cas looked on in concern, his head tilting to the side.

Dean swallowed and coughed once, coffee scalding it’s way down his throat. “Balthazar, as in weird-ass-British-accent Balthazar?”

Castiel’s face flood with confusion, his head tilting even more than it had been before. “Yes? Balthazar DiCaprio?”

“That’s my roommate.”

A mix of emotions flew across Cas’s face, morphing from shock to confusion before finally settling on disbelief. He scrunched up his nose, considering.

“That lying bastard,” Cas finally announced.

Dean laughed - Cas was just too adorable. “I’m not disagreeing with you there, but care to tell me why?”

Cas buried his head in his hands. “That first day of psych class. Remember how you sat next to me?” Cas peeked up to see Dean nod before he continued. 

“I was saving that seat for Balth. He texted me afterwards and left me with the impression that he had no idea who you were.” Castiel huffed an annoyed breath. “I even told him your name.”

It took Dean a moment, but he eventually snorted and gave Cas a grin, pointing a thumb over his shoulder.

“Yeah, well that lying bastard plus Jo are sitting a few tables behind us.”

“What?”

Cas’ eyes searched for a moment before settling on Jo and Balthazar, who looked startled at being caught. Dean turned around to send them a smug wave as Jo sent a scowl back.

“I think I ruined their fun,” Dean mused, turning back to look at Cas’ scandalized face, and he laughed.

“Come on, Cas, let’s grab the bill and get outta here.”

 

~*~

 

Even though Castiel had initially been worried about messing up his date with Dean Winchester - he’d almost  _ missed _ it, for god’s sake - it had gone surprisingly smoothly. Sure, he might have totally put dirty thoughts into the other man’s mind, but hey, it was all part of the fun. Besides, if the blush that had inflamed Dean’s skin was anything to go by, Dean enjoyed it.

It wasn’t just the shameless flirting though. It was as though they were under a spell, and Castiel was completely enchanted. As soon as he’d stopped goddamn worrying and relaxed, it had all seemed so natural. Being with Dean, it felt real.

“Hey Cas, buddy?” Dean nudged him in the arm, bringing Castiel back into the present. They were walking away from the café, in what happened to be the exact opposite direction of both of their dorm rooms. Despite his protests, Dean had insisted on paying for the both of them. Dean had also insisted on carrying Castiel’s backpack because he “shouldn’t have to lug around a bag of bricks” and Castiel had “already had his turn” and was “liable to fall over at any point if this continued.” He tried to tell Dean that he could carry it just fine, but Dean wouldn’t even hear it. Castiel smiled at the thought.

“Yeah? Sorry,” Castiel apologized, shaking his head slightly to refocus.

“Don’t apologize.” And there was that look again. Dean had made it earlier when Castiel had mentioned how he wanted to help people. A mixture of admiration and affection that sent a happy buzz through his system. “Your mind was obviously wandering.”

“Yeah.”

“So,” Dean’s fingers brushed against Castiel’s, just barely a graze. “What were you thinking about?”

“Honestly?” Dean nodded in way of answering. “You.”

He had to be expecting it. But it still surprised Castiel when he saw Dean’s eyes light up so bright they put the stars to shame.

“Really?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you, Dean.” It was a strong sentiment, but Castiel wasn’t one to lie very often anyway.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“You have to pinky promise, Cas.” Dean raised his pinky finger, crooking it and waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Castiel rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the small bubble of laughter that erupted out of him.

“Okay, Dean.” Castiel crooked his own right pinky finger and curled it around Dean’s. “I pinky promise that I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”

Dean grinned and leaned in to place a quick kiss to the tip of Castiel’s nose. Cas blinked in surprise, almost too taken to notice how Dean lowered their hands, but kept their pinkies curled together as they walked.

“Hey, Cas?” Dean rubbed the side of his pinky against Castiel’s as he said the words. “Why’d you think I hated you?”

“I… I-” Castiel wasn’t even sure anymore. “It just always seemed that whenever I was around, you were reluctant to speak to me. And when we were alone you were extremely distant.”

“Only because I thought you hated me.” Dean defended, his pinky finger still lightly brushing against Castiel’s own and sending shivers down his back.

“Then why did you think I hated you?” If Castiel was being honest with himself, he really didn’t see how he could have started this. Dean seemed to stall for time, kicking along a pebble on the sidewalk.

“Because I was a dick when I first met you.” The words were only a mutter.

“No you weren’t.” Castiel could remember that day perfectly and at no point had Dean been anything but humble.

“ _ Cas _ . I basically invaded your room and annoyed you so much you left. So yeah, I was sort of a dick.”

Castiel stopped walking and pulled Dean to the side of the street, away from all other people. He kept his pinky tightly curled around Dean’s.

“Dean, you came to my dorm to see your best friend. You then offered to teach me how to play poker and I chickened out and ran. If those are your two best points, you’re an idiot. You did absolutely nothing wrong, so there would have been no sensible reason for me to have hated you.”

Dean blinked a few times. For a moment, Castiel feared he had said something wrong. But then Dean beamed, uncurling his pinky finger from Castiel’s and instead entwining their hands together. “Okay.”

They kept walking, mostly in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. Dean would swipe his thumb over Castiel’s hand every now and again, almost as if he wasn’t even thinking about it, and Castiel would do his best not to pull the other man in and hold him as close as he possibly could.

Even though they had taken the longest route back to Oliver Hall, already they were in front of the wide doors. They climbed the stairs together, brushing shoulders and inching closer to one another in silence as Castiel’s dorm loomed nearer.

They’d spent over two hours on their date and Castiel had another class soon, but he was still reluctant to part from Dean. He didn’t want to waste any more time. All too soon, they were standing in front of Castiel’s door, Dean still with Castiel’s backpack slung over his shoulder. It was almost awkward, neither of them sure what the other expected of them.

_ Oh god, this is going to be so cliché _ , Castiel thought to himself. He  _ wanted  _ to kiss Dean though. It had been all he could think about since last night.  _ God _ , kissing Dean had been amazing. Castiel wanted to do it again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

“Can I…” Dean began but faltered off, rubbing his neck

“Can you…?” Castiel asked, cocking his head to the side. He knew what Dean wanted to ask, but he wanted to hear him say it. He  _ needed _ to hear those words.

Dean was saved from having to answer that question though, because at that exact moment the door was thrown open and Benny was stepping right between them, eyes on his phone. 

“Hey, brothe-”

He must have realized belatedly that something was going on, because when he looked up from his phone his face was a mask of confusion. He looked from Dean to Cas and back again.

Amusement crossed his face, and he shook his head as he took a step backwards into the dorm. He rose an eyebrow, gracing them both with a look that clearly said, “just kiss already,” and then proceeded to slam the door in their faces.

Castiel swallowed heavily, turning away from the door and looking at Dean. Before Castiel could change his mind and retreat into his room, he leaned forwards and met Dean’s lips. Dean’s arms immediately wrapped around his back, encircling him in warmth. One hand traveled up to pull gently at his hair, and Cas hummed with pleasure.

_ Yes _ , he tasted the same as he had last night. Castiel had been waiting all day for this moment, dreaming about it during classes and imagining it in his free time. He never wanted to be denied Dean Winchester again.

He leaned back for a moment to push his glasses onto his head, out of the way, smiling at Dean before resuming the kiss. It was as he was stepping closer to cradle Dean’s head between his hands that he tripped over his own feet and stumbled into Dean’s chest. Dean caught him, thankfully, but stumbled back into the wall in the process. No one was hurt, apart from Castiel’s ego.

All the courage that he had gathered to lean in and kiss Dean was gone, and he was left flustered beyond belief. Stammering, he haphazardly put his glasses back on, searching and making a grab for his bag that had landed on the floor when he’d accidentally shoved Dean. He stumbled backwards into the door.

“Bye Dean, see you later!” Castiel flinched at the way his voice squeaked. Dean was still leaning on the wall, apparently having trouble trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Castiel withdrew into his dorm room and closed the door before he could even wait for a response.

Breathing hard with his back against the door, he looked up to meet Benny’s incredulous eyes. Castiel must have looked like a mess - hair ruffled, wonky glasses, a furious flush in his cheeks.

“Um. Hi Benny.”

Benny lost it, rumbling with laughter as Castiel let out a long sigh, leaning his head back in defeat to rest against the door, a small smile twitching at his lips. 


	7. Chapter Seven

They’d been dating for two whole months. Sometimes, Dean wasn’t sure if he would wake up one day to find that everything had been a dream; but every night when he’d say goodnight to Castiel (even if it was only by phone) he’d pray that it wasn’t. He wasn’t one for praying, but something about Castiel made him feel different. And even though he hadn’t seen Sammy as often as he would have liked, those two months had been some of the best of his life.

There was a sound of a key turning in the lock, and Dean snapped out of his thoughts as looked up from the papers he and Benny were studying. 

He was greeted with the sight of Castiel walking in, completely drenched from the rain. The instant Dean’s eyes saw the water dripping off of his boyfriend and soaking him to the bone, he had been on him.

“Dean, stop, I’m fine,” Castiel said,protesting halfheartedly against his ministrations.

“Cas, baby, you’re gonna get sick.” Dean shushed him, placing a soft kiss to his lips. He peeled the trench coat off easily, but the thick sweater was harder to take care of. It was as Dean was reaching for his boyfriend’s jeans that Benny jumped up.

“I’m out of here. Call me when he’s dry.”

True to his word, Benny left the dorm room in a matter of seconds. Dean grinned and Castiel beamed back.

“Really Dean, you don’t have to,” Castiel said, taking Dean’s hands in his own. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can, Cas. But I wanna help.”

Castiel seemed to deliberate, locking eyes with Dean the entire time. Dean’s heart fluttered every time Castiel did that, and he was sure the other man could see the way his pupils dilated.

“Okay.”

With extreme care, the same care Dean always used with his boyfriend, he stripped him down to only his boxers and a tee-shirt.

“I’ll turn around so that you can change into some dry underwear.” Dean was nothing if not a gentleman. As much as he would have seriously  _ loved _ to see Castiel naked, it wasn’t the right time.

“Thank you, Dean.” For as assertive as Castiel could be sometimes when they were making out, the most they’d done was a little dry humping, nothing more. He seemed shy sometimes, as if he had no idea what he was doing, but other times…

“Okay, I’m covered.”

Dean turned around, plucking the plush blanket off of Castiel’s bed and wrapping the two of them in it. 

“You see, Cas, my dad was a hunter in his free time, so he taught me a lot about survival. For example, I know that when someone’s cold and wet, the best way to get them warm again is to conserve body heat.” Dean held Castiel closely, slowly rubbing his arms up and down his back. “And the best way to conserve body heat is skin to skin contact.”

“Dean…?”

“Don’t worry, baby, I’m just gonna strip down to the same level as you,” Dean placed a kiss to his boyfriends cold nose. He didn’t want to worry Castiel. “Nothing more and nothing less, I promise.”

“Pinky promise?” Castiel asked, a shy smile gracing his lips.

“I pinky promise.” Dean crooked his pinky and curled it around Castiel’s. 

“Then strip away.” Castiel smacked him in the ass and Dean laughed, not thinking anything of it. After all, they’d just had a pinky promise to be conservative, hadn’t they?

As soon as he was down to his boxers and shirt, he wrapped himself around his boyfriend and brought them close together. The blanket was a welcoming warmth, but it was nothing next to Dean’s own body heat.

“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel said, burrowing his mop of black hair into Dean’s shoulder. It wasn’t their first time snuggling, but Dean still reveled in it every time they did. He would never admit to anyone he loved to snuggle, but somehow Castiel already knew that.

“You’re welcome, baby.”

It wasn’t until an hour later, Castiel finally dry, that Benny came back, a smile twitching across his features when he saw the two of them curled around each other.

“What are you so excited about?” Castiel asked teasingly. That was another thing about dating Castiel that Dean liked. Castiel and Benny had always gotten along fine, but ever since they’d gotten together, Castiel had gotten closer to Benny. Castiel teasing Benny a month ago? Unheard of.

“Nothing,” Benny supplied, flopping onto his bed and looking at Dean and Castiel with a grin.

“Nothing?” Dean questioned, subconsciously tightening his hold on his boyfriend.

“Nothing.”

  
  


The next morning found Dean and Cas doing laundry together at one in the morning, sitting on top of a row of washing machines as they watched Cas’ soggy clothes spin. Which also happened to give them the perfect hour of make out sessions. If they tried making out in Dean’s room, Balthazar would always show up, making _ no fucking noise ever, _ and smugly surprise the fuck outta them. It was creepy as hell. If they tried to do it in Castiel’s dorm room, Benny would either get extremely awkward and not talk to either of them for at least a day or make non-stop jokes, which was somehow worse. So yeah, neither of their dorm rooms were exactly great make out spots.

Castiel was just teasing his fingertips over Dean’s nipples, which was driving him  _ freaking insane _ _,_ when the dripping noises started. Castiel pulled back, and Dean groaned. Dean didn’t exactly care about weird noises right then.

_ “ Cas _ _,”_ He practically whined, but then the noise came again, this time much louder.

“One second, Dean.” Castiel placed a quick kiss to Dean’s lips before unhooking himself from Dean’s legs and walking towards the washing machine that held his clothes. Dean muttered a curse as he slid off the machine and went to wrap his arms around his boyfriend’s back. Castiel was just reaching out for the lid of the machine when it popped open on its own, spewing soap bubbles all over Castiel.

Dean couldn’t help but think it was adorable when Castiel jumped in his arms, nearly knocking him over in the process, as the machine continued foaming.

“Dean, fix it!” Castiel shouted, pulling Dean forward towards the death machine. He’d worked the odd job or two during high school at Bobby’s auto shop, but a washing machine? It wasn’t Dean’s forte. Nonetheless, he couldn’t let his boyfriend down.

Upon further inspection, it was clear that letting Castiel take care of the laundry had been a catastrophic idea. The bubbles were still spewing everywhere, making a complete mess of the laundry room.

“Dude, how much soap did you put in here?” Dean was arms deep in bubbles as he tried to gauge the damage.

“The bottle of detergent said to put in seven full caps,” Castiel supplied.

“Seven full caps??” Dean raised his eyes to the ceiling before looking back at Cas. 

“Cas, babe, no. The bottle didn’t say seven, it said one. That was a one.”

“No.” Castiel looked panicked, disbelief coloring his bright eyes darker. “I swear, it said seven.”

Dean made a vague gesture with his head. “Does this look like it could have happened with one cap full of detergent?”

Castiel paused, before ducking his head. 

“No.” 

Dean couldn’t help but smile; it didn’t matter that the both of them were covered in soap, that their laundry would take  hours to rinse out, or that the laundry room was a complete mess. It didn’t matter because in that moment, Dean wouldn’t have preferred it any other way.

  
  


“I’m not sick, Cas.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Dean Winchester, you have a fever of one hundred and three degrees. Yes, you’re sick.”

“No,” Dean insisted stubbornly. He hated being sick, and he could deny it all he wanted, but Castiel was on him like a mother hen and, well, no complaining from that department. Dean skipped his classes that day, typing up a quick apology email to his professors, and spent the day sitting in his boyfriend’s dorm, morosely eating lucky charms out of a cup.

“You better get your rest, Winchester,” Benny suggested from the other side of the room. He’d gotten Dean the notes from the lecture he missed, so that was good. “Don’t want to miss  _ too  _ many classes.”

“Maybe I wanna hang around with my boyfriend all day?” Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel, pulling him in close.

“Well that’s pretty shitty reasoning. Cas’ still going to his classes,” Benny fired back.

“Maybe I don’t want to hold him back,” Dean pouted.

“Get over yourself, Dean.” Castiel smiled and placed a kiss onto his forehead, dissolving the harshness of his words. “What are you doing on my laptop?”

_ Shit. _ Doctor Sexy was still paused on Castiel’s laptop. Dean had just been getting back into last month’s episode when Castiel came back. He was so behind on the show it was ridiculous, but college left little time for guilty pleasures.

“Nothing.”

“Really?” Castiel cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Very,” Dean replied hastily.

“Okay.”  _ Okay? _ Castiel was just giving up? Never, not once, had Cas just given up about something like this. Dean was suspicious to say the least. 

“I’m off to class, I’ll see you in two hours,” Cas said abruptly, standing up.

“Bye, baby.” Dean kissed Castiel on the cheek, earning a groan from Benny. Castiel flipped him off.

As soon as his boyfriend was out of the room again, Dean pressed play. He only had two hours, he had to make them count. Benny wouldn’t ask what was on the laptop, probably didn’t care enough to know. Probably thought it was just porn.

Dean was on his third episode, deeply invested in the way Doctor Sexy M.D. was seducing Barbara the O.R. nurse, when an ear bud was tugged from his ear. He was about to vaguely wave Benny away, when he looked up and met Castiel’s eyes.

“You watch Doctor Sexy M.D.?” Castiel was smiling, accomplishment shining in his eyes.

“Ah…”

Castiel must have seen the apprehension in his eyes, because the victory in his eyes softened and molded into sympathy. 

“Dean, it’s okay. There’s nothing de-masculinizing about watching Doctor Sexy. No shame.”

“I - Don’t tell anyone,” Dean threatened.

“I won’t.” Castiel smiled again, ruffling Dean’s hair simultaneously. 

“Balthazar watches that show too. You two could watch it together. It’d be cute.”

Dean snorted. In hindsight, he should have seen that coming. 

“I’d say that’s a great idea, but it would require Balthazar actually ever being in the dorm room.”

“Well,” Castiel bounced onto the bed, resting his legs over Dean’s. “You’ve been in this dorm room pretty often.”

“True,” Benny supplied. That sneaky motherfucker. Even when Dean and Castiel were having their own conversations and forgot Benny was there, he was always listening.

“It’s fine,” Castiel said, taking Dean’s hand in his. “I like being around you a lot.” 

In a much quieter voice he whispered, “Even though I wasn’t here today, I liked knowing you were in my room. It makes me very happy.”

Dean looked him straight in the eye and beamed. 

“Aw, Cas, you’re such a domestic little shit.”

“Shut up.” Castiel punched him playfully in the arm, placing a kiss onto his forehead.

 

~*~

 

If there was one thing Castiel hated the most about college life, it was the never ending amounts of studying required to pass his classes. Hours, he spent  _ hours _ doing homework and reading notes. He was meant to be at Jo’s party tonight with Dean, but had an exam the next day that he couldn’t risk not studying for. Benny had gone too, so he was all alone for the first time in weeks.

It was quiet. He didn’t like it.

It was almost one AM, and Castiel was only halfway through studying. He was wrapped in his blankets, fighting the chill that had entered the dorms and announced the beginning of December. Neither Dean or Benny had come back yet, so he assumed they were both still at the party.  _ God, just twenty more pages to read. _

He made it through another paragraph and a half when he felt his phone buzz once. He reached over to darken the screen, thinking it was Gabriel sending another cat video. Before he could, it vibrated twice more, making him frown and peer at the messages. 

_ 12:49AM  ** Dean Wants Pie ** : Cas did i ever tel u ur sezy?/ _

_ 12:50AM  ** Dean Wants Pie ** : so soo ssxy _

_ 12:50AM  ** Dean Wants Pie ** : wanta fck u _

Oh.

Um.

Oh.

It was quite clear that Dean was drunk. Castiel sighed, darkening the phone and putting it back down. He’d talk to Dean in the morning once he was sober, and  after he’d taken this damn exam.

His phone started vibrating again as Dean’s caller ID lit up the screen. He sighed and answered.

“Hello, Dean.” He tried to keep his voice light, calm. He could hear noise in the background; most likely music and at least another hundred people.

“Caaassss,” Dean slurred the name, giggling when he hiccupped. Castiel’s frown deepened. “Get o’er ‘ere.”

“No, Dean. I’m studying tonight, remember?”

“But  _ Caaasssss _ ,” Dean whined. “you always stu’ing. I wanna have funnnn.”

“Dean, I’ve spent almost every single day in the past two months in your company.” Castiel sighed, inwardly cursing Dean for breaking his focus. “You can survive one night without me.”

“Nooooo, can’t. Cas, ‘m,” Dean lowered his voice, only slightly. He was too smashed to know how to whisper. “ ‘m so ‘orny. I  _ want _ you, baby. So bad. Sooo baddd.”

Castiel hung up. Dean called three more times before sending another text.

_ 12:55AM  ** Dean Wants Pie ** : babe answer meeeeeee _

_ 12:56AM  ** Dean Wants Pie ** : cccaaaaASSsssssssssss _

_ 12:56AM  ** Dean Wants Pie ** : did uc what i did there/ _

_ 12:56AM  ** Dean Wants Pie ** : its cuz i wanna get fcked in th ass _

Oh god, Castiel just wanted to study. Was one full night of studying before a big exam too much to ask for?

_ 12:57AM  ** To Dean Wants Pie ** : Dean, please stop. I have a lot of studying to do tonight and you’re bothering me. I don’t appreciate it. _

_ 12:59AM  ** Dean Wants Pie ** : cccccaaaassssssss i need youuuuu _

Castiel’s phone started ringing. He could almost yell in frustration. Was a drunk Dean Winchester  _ this _ hard to work with? He sighed loudly, the noise turning into a groan.

“What do you want Dean?” He bit out.

“You, all I wan’s you,” Dean slurred.

“I need you to stop calling me.”

“But  _ baby _ !” Dean shouted the words, his voice cracking. “I need you!”

“Dean,” Castiel was starting to get angry. “Please stop. I am busy studying for this exam. It is  _ forty percent _ of my grade. I am extremely stressed and need to study. Leave. Me. Alone.”

“C-cas?” Dean hiccupped. “You- you don’ wan’ me?”

“Dean please, I’m busy right now. Just go back to your friends.” Castiel rubbed a hand down his face, soothing his tired eyes.

“You don’ wan’ me anymore?” It was extremely obvious that Dean was sobbing now, crying into the phone.

“Dean, that’s not what I meant and you know it. Please Dean, I need to study.” A small part of Castiel felt guilty for making a drunk Dean start crying, but he  _ needed _ to study and Dean wasn’t cooperating.

“ _ Cas _ ,” Dean sniffled, hiccupping into the phone.

“Please, Dean,” Castiel sighed, his voice nothing but done. “You know how stressed I am over this. Please stop. Go back to your friends. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Castiel hung up, not waiting for Dean to respond. Shockingly, his phone buzzed again with a text message not even ten seconds later .  Castiel was mildly surprised Dean was still able to text so quickly.

_ 1:02AM  ** Dean Wants Pie ** : bby pleez _

_ 1:03AM  ** Dean Wants Pie ** : dont leave me _

_ 1:05AM  ** Dean Wants Pie ** : cas/ _

Castiel couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to study, he needed to pass this class, he needed to block himself off from Dean. He turned his phone off.

It was quiet again. The silence was both soothing and overwhelming. It was a relief, the break from the texts and calls, but it also made him miserable. He missed his green eyed boyfriend, but he just wasn’t drunk enough to admit it to himself right now.

He got through another two pages before his thoughts began to wander.  _ Did Dean really want to have sex already? _ They’d been going out for two months, and they  were in college, but it still felt too soon. It wasn’t as if Castiel didn’t want it. So many times he had, but the idea of it still scared him a little bit. He didn’t want anything to change between them. If that wasn’t enough of a reason to be apprehensive about having sex with Dean, then being a virgin was.

Castiel rubbed his eyes. No. He wasn’t going to let his thoughts stray any more than he already had. It was crunch time, Castiel needed to get a good grade, he  _ needed _ to.

He was finally getting back into hyper studying mode, having gotten through about ten pages in a half hour, when his dorm room door slammed open. He jumped, possibly even yelping a little, before he realized who was standing in the doorway.

“Dean?” Castiel pulled the blanket that was surrounding him a little closer. It wasn’t that he was afraid of his boyfriend - Dean would never hurt him - but right then, Dean was unpredictable. Castiel had lived with The Trickster his entire life, he didn’t like unpredictable.

Dean was covered in snow and was wearing only a flannel and jeans, no jacket or coat whatsoever. And Jo’s dorm room was on the other side of campus. He was shivering, his teeth chattering from the cold.

“ _ Cas _ ,” Dean whined the name, kicking the door closed behind him. “’m sorry.”

Did he leave Jo’s party and come here just to apologize to him?

“It’s okay, Dean.”

“No, ‘s not.” Dean trudged over to where Castiel was sitting on the bed. Their eyes were locked the entire time, Dean’s slightly unfocused and hazy but valiantly staring into Castiel’s. “”m needy, and you’re trying ta study.”

Castiel could see the tear streaks under Dean’s eyes. He was so smashed. Castiel was willing to bet that the sober Dean could count the number of times he’d cried on one hand. Sober Dean would never cry in front of a crowd of people. This Dean was hammered.

Castiel sighed, ignoring the apology for the moment. Resignedly, he lifted the blanket, beckoning Dean over to him. 

“Dean, you’re freezing. Come here.” The light in Dean’s eyes flickered to life, a pair of stars on a cloudy night.

Cas was still annoyed with Dean, but Dean was just being so  _ needy _ . And if Cas were honest, somewhere deep down, it felt good to be needed.

Dean quickly tried to crawl into the bed, but he was still covered in snow. “Take off your clothes and grab some of mine,” Castiel offered, closing his textbook and taking off his glasses.

By the time he had finished rubbing the sleep from his eyes and had shuffled over to one side of the bed, Dean was ready and climbing into the bed. His arms and legs were wrapped around Castiel within seconds, head snuggled into the crook of his shoulder. Castiel smiled into the warmth, settling into the embrace.

“G’night, Cas,” Dean mumbled, tightening his hold on Castiel. He sighed, watching Dean puff out small breathes of beer tainted breath. He loved the nights that they slept in the same bed, but they were rare and special.

“Goodnight, Dean.” Castiel reached over and turned off the lamp, flooding the room with darkness. He pulled out his phone, re-reading his notes on the lecture from a few days ago. It wasn’t as good as the textbook, but it would suffice. Dean merely grunted, but didn’t complain.

He got through about another half hour of painful studying before Dean (whom Castiel had thought had passed out) plucked the phone out of his hands and tossed it over his shoulder, where it landed with a muffled thump on Benny’s bed.

“ _ Hey _ ,” Castiel whispered in protest.

“Get’o sleep, you’re too stressed. You won’ ‘member an’thing tomorrow,” Dean mumbled, snuggling closer to Castiel. Cas huffed, but complied, burrowing down under the blankets and kissing Dean’s hairline. His eyes were already sagging closed, but he held Dean as close as he could. He kept thinking of what Dean had told him earlier, three words repeating over and over in his mind.

“I need you too, Dean,” Cas whispered moments before he fell asleep.

  
  


A ringing phone startled Castiel out of his dream. It had been a good dream, involving both him and Dean and very limited clothing. Without his glasses on and still in a sleepy haze, Castiel blindly groped around trying to find the source of the incessant noise. The fact that Dean’s limbs were still tightly wrapped around him effectively prevented him from finding anything, but Cas wasn’t complaining. Dean was always so warm.

Dean merely grumbled at the noise and movement, but was otherwise unaffected. The ringing wasn’t stopping. In fact, it sounded extremely close. Castiel squinted his eyes in an effort to see more clearly until he found the source of the buzzing; a little rectangle of blurred light. His phone was sitting on his bedside table; Benny must have put it there before he left for class.

Without thinking, Castiel reached out and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Uh... Hi?” The voice on the phone didn’t sound familiar. “Dean?”

“Who is this?” Castiel kept his voice soft, not wanting to wake the sleeping man. Why would someone call him to talk to Dean?

“Sam. Dean’s younger brother?” The boy on the phone sounded curious, overtly so. How did Sam have his… Castiel pulled the phone away from his ear to squint at it in confusion. It was only then that he realized he was holding Dean’s phone. 

“And who are you?” The voice sounded tinny, and Cas quickly pressed the phone back to his ear.

“Umm,” Castiel stalled. He cast a quick glance towards Dean’s still sleeping body, but received no further instructions on how to handle this situation. He had no idea how much Sam knew about their relationship, and didn’t want to ruin anything for Dean. “Castiel Novak.”

“Castiel? As in Cas?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Sam sounded as if he was nodding his head, cataloging the information. “Why are you answering my brother’s phone?”

Shit. “He, uh, had left it in my room.” Crap, Castiel knew he was a terrible liar. Why couldn’t Sam have waited until Dean was awake to call? It would have alleviated this further stress.

“Okay.” Sam didn’t sound convinced, but at least he wasn’t prodding for better answers. There was a pause over the phone, and another quick glance told Castiel that Dean was still asleep.

“Are you dating my brother?” Sam asked quickly. “He’s told me you’ve gone on dates and he texted me before your first one and he seems really smitten by you, like  _ really _ head over heels, and it’s  _ Dean _ I’m talking about here, but he’s always really happy whenever we talk on the phone and he always talks about you and now you’ve just answered his cell at eight on a Thursday morning and only roommates or couples do that, and you sound kinda flustered and – ”

“Sam,” Castiel cut him off, already blushing slightly. “Calm down.” Rambling must have been a Winchester trait. “Yes, your brother and I are dating.”

“I knew it!” Sam started laughing victoriously. “He never confirmed it, but I knew it!”

“Yes. Dean’s sleeping right now,” Castiel smiled, glad to have Sam’s approval. “And he won’t untangle himself from me so I can leave.”

“Dean’s sleeping?” There was a mischievous anchor in Sam’s voice. “So I can tell you whatever I want about him and he’d never know?”

“Not unless I told him.”

“Excellent.” Sam took a dramatic pause, exhaling for effect. Castiel ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, pleasantly surprised by the little happy noises Dean made. “Dean wet his pants in the fifth grade when he was forced to take a plane to Disney World.”

Castiel couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that leaked out of his throat, only remembering to stifle it at the last moment. He kept running his fingers through Dean’s hair as he listened to Sam chatter excitedly, humming and interjecting every now and then.

“Last year Dean ate eleven pies in twenty minutes to win a pie eating contest. I mean, who even does that??”

“I knew he liked pie, but…” Castiel trailed off, smiling down at his boyfriend. Talking to Sam was so easy and comfortable, like talking to the little brother he’d always wanted.

“Oh my god you have no idea. He once blackmailed me with fake test scores to bake him a pie.” Sam kept telling him stories, each one more ridiculous than the last. Some were hard to believe, like how Dean had supposedly “skateboarded through our neighborhood at three AM completely nude for a dare, and had to be brought home by the  _ police _ .” Others were more adorable, like how Dean had “gotten married in kindergarten and still got embarrassed if you said Lisa Braeden’s name.”

“Oh! This one’s good. Dean - he loves Doctor Sexy like he’s his husband.”

“Trust me, Sam,” Castiel smiled, slightly ruffling Dean’s hair. “I know.”

It wasn’t until about a half hour of embarrassing stories that Dean started to stir. At first there were only slight huffs as he slowly came out of sleep, inching closer to Castiel.

“Apparently there are very inappropriate pictures of Dean somewhere, but I don’t know what they’re of.”

“Wait.” Castiel had a sneaking suspicion that these pictures were the same ones Gabriel used over Dean a few months ago. Secretly in his head, he still thanked Gabriel every day for doing what he did. “Did someone named Rhonda take those pictures?”

Dean had been slowly snuggling his head against Castiel’s ribs, eyelids fluttering, but at the sound of Rhonda’s name, his eyes finally flickered open.

“Who are you talking to?” Even though Dean was obviously still half asleep, his voice was on high alert.

“Ummm.” They had never really talked about actually meeting each other’s family. Castiel didn’t want to sound like he was intruding on Dean’s family life by talking to Sam - plus, Dean surely had a killer hangover. 

“No one important right now.” Castiel smiled, threading his fingers through Dean’s hair soothingly. “Go back to sleep, baby.”

“Cas,” Dean repeated, sleepy but insistent.

“Sam.”

Dean blinked. He stared at Castiel for a moment. He blinked again.

Through the phone he could hear Sam asking what was going on, but Castiel had no intention of answering just yet. Not until he knew how Dean would react.

“You’re talking to Sammy?”

“I was tired and had heard the phone ring. I thought it was mine,” Castiel said defensively. “Sam seems very nice.”

Dean smiled, seemingly before he could think better of it, then quickly frowned. “Why did I hear you say Rhonda?”

“Let me talk to him!” Sam yelled from the phone. Dean’s eyes went wide and Castiel quickly passed the phone to him. Better to let the brothers take care of it than to get between them.

“Yeah Samsquatch?” Dean asked. “Geez, fine. Calm your tits, Sammy.” He pulled the phone away from his ear and put it on speaker. “So why did you say Rhonda?”

“I was telling Castiel about those photos that she has of you and how-” Whatever Sam was about to say was completely cut off because Dean had immediately hung up.

“Why’d you do that?” Castiel pouted, crossing his arms.

“Got tired of hearing Sammy’s voice,” Dean said, although they both knew it was complete bullshit. “Doesn’t help the hangover.”

“Hmm,” Castiel hummed, rolling onto his side to face Dean directly. He placed a slow languid kiss to the other man’s lips, reveling in just how effortless it was. “Do you want to know what would probably help?”

“Please say morning sex,” Dean teased. Castiel hit him on the arm playfully.

“I was going to say – before you so rudely interrupted me, Mr. Winchester – that we could stay in bed all morning and cuddle,” Castiel whispered, placing a kiss to Dean’s nose.

“Hmm,” Dean hummed back, grabbing Castiel’s arms and encircling them around himself. He made a big show of making it seem that he was thinking out his options, considering whether or not to accept. “I think I like that idea.”

Castiel smiled, placing another kiss to Dean’s lips. “So do I.”


	8. Chapter Eight

“They’ve done e-v-e-r-ything, I swear.”

“You’re wrong,” Gabriel declared, pointing his half-finished lollipop at Jo. “I know my Cassie and I know for a fact that he’s a squeaky clean virgin.”

“You don’t know it for sure.”

“I know my little bro. Trust me, I’d know if he made his sexual debut.”

“Maybe Cassie just didn’t tell you,” Balthazar offered. “He can be one sneaky bastard. Especially when someone as scrumptious as Dean Winchester is involved.”

“Hm. What do ya think, Benny?”

“Brother, I don’t wanna know,” Benny answered, staring straight at his textbook. The four of them were holed up at Gabriel’s apartment, ‘studying’ for exams. Dean and Castiel had bailed this time for their own more private study session.

“C’mon Benny, you know that Cas would totally top,” Jo teased, tossing her eraser at him.

“Oh  _ hell  _ no,” Gabriel intervened. “Cassie’s a bottom.”

“You know, I’ve been Castiel’s bestie for almost all his life,” Balthazar said, holding his hand over his heart dramatically. “And Castiel is  _ definitely _ a power bottom. I swear to god, he’s the kinkiest son of a bitch on the planet.”

Gabriel gagged, rolling his eyes. “Just because he  _ might _ be wild in bed doesn’t mean he tops.”

“Castiel’s the top!” Jo screamed, probably loud enough for the neighbors to hear. “And Jesus, do something about the soup, it’s starting to fucking smoke!”

“Fuck!”

“Probably what Dean and Castiel are doing right now,” Benny muttered. Jo erupted into laughter, high fiving him from across the couch.

She’d only known Castiel for a few months, but she and Dean were practically siblings. While she knew for a fact that Dean wasn’t a virgin, she was pretty sure neither was Castiel. Honestly, with the amount of dates the two of them went on, she’d be surprised to learn they  _ hadn’t _ had sex yet.

Gabriel returned to the living room, hands covered by oven mitts. “Okay, well, riddle me this: can you imagine Dean taking it up the ass?”

No one said anything. 

Jo had to admit, she couldn’t imagine it. But she knew there was a small part in Dean, deep, deep down, reserved for a very special person, for whom he’d bottom and totally enjoy it. He was just that kind of person - the kind who’d surprise you if you cared enough to dig deep. Jo finally spoke up.

“No,” she admitted, rolling her pen between her fingers. “But I’m still sure of it. Dean’s the bottom. Maybe not with anyone else, but definitely with Cas.”

“Jesus.” Gabe threw an oven mitt at her, grinning. “Stubborn-ass screwhead.”

“What even-”

“Man, when they find this out,” Benny interrupted, “They are gonna flip shit and come after our asses.”

“They’ll be too busy staring at each other’s asses,” Batlhazar said.

“Maybe that’ll give them the push to finally do it,” Gabriel murmured.

“They already have!” Jo and Balth yelled at the same time.

They totally had.

 

~*~

 

Castiel’s ever present virginity was starting to bother him. Not his virginity so much as the fact that he was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his thoughts from straying down a certain path whenever he was with Dean. And yet, he still hadn’t quite managed to bring up the topic of sex to Dean. It had been one long series of excuses, telling himself that they were busy, or they were talking about something more important, or it just wasn’t the right time. He knew it was stupid, and he couldn’t help himself. He was afraid to watch Dean pull away with a disgusted expression, afraid of the walls he’d see in Dean’s eyes. Things would irreversibly change between them, and Castiel was terrified.

“Cas, pay attention,” Dean whispered, poking him in the arm. They were at their final psych lecture of the year, an important one, but he couldn’t keep his thoughts from wandering.

“Yeah, Cassie,” Balth whispered from his other side. “Better listen to your bottom.” Balth had said it only loud enough for Castiel to hear, but Castiel still found himself blushing and rapidly checking to make sure Dean hadn’t heard.

For some reason, Balthazar was convinced that Castiel was a filthy kink master of some sort. He had no idea how Balthazar had gotten it into his head, but there was no convincing him otherwise.

“Please stop.”

“Why?” Balthazar teased. “Afraid he’ll get greedy if he hears me? That he’ll need your cock  _ this very moment _ and you’ll have to leave to satisfy him?”

All of Castiel’s blood rushed to the surface of his skin, making him at least ten shades redder. Thankfully, Dean still hadn’t heard Balthazar. Dean must have felt the tension practically rolling off of Castiel though, because a few seconds later, he turned to face Castiel questioningly.

“You okay, Cas?” Dean asked, concern tainting his voice.

“Yup!” Castiel squeaked. Dean looked skeptical, but turned back towards Professor Singer anyway. Balth laughed lowly, lavishly and loudly kissing Castiel on the cheek. Castiel knew he was only joking, but if the way Dean whipped his head to the side to stare daggers at Balth said anything, Dean didn’t.

“Don’t  _ ever _ do that again.” Dean ground out the words, his voicing traveling scarily low and deep. Balthazar, for his part, had the decency to look mildly terrified. Castiel gulped, not sure if he was still embarrassed from what Balth had said or turned on from Dean’s blatant jealousy.

“Well, it appears that Mr. Winchester here doesn’t see any reason to pay attention in my class.” All three of them whipped their heads to the front of the lecture hall, eyes wide and guilty.

“Sorry, Bobby.”

“Winchester!” Bobby sighed as he readjusted his baseball cap. Castiel wondered how he was allowed to wear that in class. “Perhaps you’d like to share with everyone what was oh-so-important that you just  _ had _ to disrupt my lecture.”

A sense of dread pooled in Castiel’s gut. Dean visibly swallowed, huffing out a forced shaky laugh. “Just discussing who will get the best grade on the exam is all, sir.”

“Really, boy?” Professor Singer questioned. “Now why don’t you tell me what you were really up to or leave my goddamn classroom.”

_ Crap _ _._ Castiel grabbed Dean’s hand under the table, squeezing it in reassurance.

“I - ah… My boyfriend’s best friend kissed him on the cheek and I warned him to never do it again.” Dean muttered the words, barely audible for the professor.

“I’m sorry,” Professor Singer mocked. “Could you say it a little louder so the whole class can hear your excuse?”

Dean was squeezing back now, practically crushing Castiel’s hand.

“I was being an overprotective boyfriend!” Dean yelled the words, face immediately flushing red. There were muffled laughs and catcalls from the students, but Castiel was too busy staring at Dean to notice them. He knew that they were explicitly dating and weren’t hiding it, but to hear Dean put it that way in front of everyone else… Warm affection chased off the dread, and Castiel’s lips twitched into a smile.

“Quiet down!” Professor Singer shouted, drawing Castiel’s attention away from Dean. “And pay attention, Winchester, or I’ll be calling your father, you hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” Dean muttered, face still red from the bridge of his nose to the tips of his ears. The blush was still there by the end of the class, and Castiel did his best to ignore it for Dean’s sake.

On a normal day, Castiel would go out to lunch with Dean after their lecture; some days Balth would even join them. Today, he could tell that Dean was antsy to get out of the public eye. They could just as easily grab lunch from the hall cafeteria and eat back in Castiel’s room, he decided. It wouldn’t be a problem.

Instead of saying goodbye to Professor Singer and lingering, Dean merely grabbed Castiel’s hand and paraded out of the lecture hall. It was understandable. Dean’s eyes were unfocused, his mind elsewhere, but he still seemed to know where he was going.

“Would you like to go back to my dorm room to eat lunch instead of going to Grace Café?” Castiel asked politely, not wanting to startle Dean out of his thoughts.

Dean nodded his head after a moment, dipping down slightly to look at Castiel sincerely. 

“Yeah, that’d be great.” He smiled shyly at his boyfriend, a secret in his eyes. It both unsettled Castiel and piqued his curiosity, but the excitement it caused in him far outweighed anything else.

“Is it safe to assume that this invite doesn’t extend to me?” Castiel had completely forgot about his friend, too interested in Dean at the moment.

“Balth, after that shit you pulled in there,” Dean said, slinging an arm around Balthazar painfully tightly, “You can assume that  _ any _ invite of ours isn’t for you.”

“Bastard,” Balth spit sarcastically, slowly smirking. “I’ll see you later, Cassie.”

“Call me later,” Castiel shouted before Balthazar could get out of earshot.

“Why?” Dean nudged him in the arm, gripping his hand tighter.

“Why not?” Dean was being weird. This was the second time he’d seemed over protective in the last hour. He usually never minded Castiel’s interactions with others, so when had he suddenly decided he cared? It was strange.

“Just wondering…”

“Okay.” Castiel didn’t want to push; it wasn’t worth it. They were both too stubborn.

Finals were tomorrow and Dean was looking more tired than Castiel had ever seen him. Dean had always said that Castiel was the one who was obsessed with grades, but Dean’s stress had rocketed just as much as Castiel’s, if not more, the closer it came to finals.

Even now, Dean’s eyelids were starting to droop slightly. As important as his grades were, Dean always acted weirdly when he was tired; and right now, he was exhausted.

It had started as Dean leading Castiel back to his room, but soon Castiel was the one leading his boyfriend. They didn’t talk much on the way back to his and Benny’s dorm except to make comments on whatever they passed.

When they finally got back to their apartment, Benny was nowhere to be found. Castiel sent out a silent prayer of thanks. Dean immediately went to Castiel’s desk, slowly pulling out a textbook and dropping it onto the desk. Castiel was surprised Dean’s head didn’t follow.

“Dean,” Castiel wrapped his arms around his boyfriend from behind. Dean immediately melted into the embrace, tilting his head back to kiss Castiel. When Castiel pulled back, Dean’s eyes were closed and he was nuzzling into Castiel’s shoulder. “I think it’s time to take a nap.”

“Mmm,” Dean murmured back. Castiel swiveled him around coaxing him out of the chair and towards the bed. They fell onto the bed, Castiel on top of Dean. He huffed a laugh, kissing Dean on the tip of his nose.

“Cas, you’re so warm.” Dean nuzzled his head into Castiel’s neck, peppering kisses onto his skin. Castiel’s eyes fluttered closed, rolling off of Dean and onto his side. It was cold even even with the windows closed, but snuggling with Dean made it seem like the dead of summer.

“Get some sleep, baby.”

“Mkay. Night, Cas.”

Dean was asleep within seconds. Castiel would have gone and grabbed his notes to study until he fell asleep, but Dean was lying on top of his arm. He’d been so tired lately, it would be a shame to wake him just when he was finally sleeping.

Instead, Castiel pulled his phone out of his pocket. He had just clicked on his online notes when his phone vibrated with a text message. Dean must have heard the vibrations because a line of tension flashed through his features before he sniffled and rolled closer to Castiel.

_ 11:04AM  ** Balthazar: ** I bet you tied him up, didn’t you? _

For the love of god,  why did Balthazar keep saying these things? When had he given him this impression? For Christ’s sake, Balthazar must have thought he was having sex every day or something.

_ 11:05AM  ** To Balthazar: ** what the hell? _

_ 11:05AM  ** To Balthazar: ** Dean’s asleep. _

_ 11:06AM  ** Balthazar: ** ooooo you fucked him that hard? _

_ 11:06AM  ** Balthazar: ** you saucy bastard _

By that point, Castiel was making small inhuman noises that had Dean groaning in his sleep. He immediately shushed the other man, running a soothing hand through his hair.

_ 11:08AM  ** To Balthazar:  ** BALTHAZAR DICAPRIO I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU’RE RELATED TO LEONARDO DICAPRIO IF YOU DON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP _

_ 11:08AM  ** Balthazar:  ** YOU WOULDN’T. _

_ 11:08AM  ** Balthazar: ** I WILL GO BACK IN TIME AND SINK THAT FUCKING SHIP IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO _

_ 11:09AM  ** To Balthazar: ** then leave me the fuck alone. _

Balthazar didn’t respond for a few moments. Castiel took the small respite to study Dean. He almost wished that he could see his eyes, see the clear green of his irises. His hair was sticking up from where Castiel had run his fingers through it. Dean looked so peaceful when he was asleep, so calm and relaxed. It wasn’t obvious just how worried he looked during his waking hours until Cas saw him sleep.

Dean was beautiful. He hated it when Castiel told him it, but there was no denying it. Sometimes, Castiel would notice Dean blushing when he’d tell him it. He always blew it off, making a joke or showering Castiel with his own compliments.

_ 11:12AM  ** Balthazar: ** fine. just make sure he’s not limping tomorrow _

Castiel sighed, accepting the white flag. A pretty crappy white flag, but he wasn’t about to reply.

He didn’t feel like studying anymore, not after what Balthazar had said. He would much rather fall asleep with Dean curled around him.

Castiel chucked his phone to the foot of the bed and buried himself under the blankets with his boyfriend. He could always study later.

 

~*~

 

Dean woke up slowly, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He was still in Castiel’s bed, but his boyfriend was missing from the blankets. He had been so warm snuggled up against Castiel, but the heat was slowly melting away to be replaced by the winter chill. He shivered, teeth chattering.

“Dean?” Castiel was suddenly at his side, stroking the hair off his forehead. “You awake?”

“Nooo.”

He heard Castiel laugh, and felt fuzzy happiness light up inside him. Every time Castiel laughed, it was like a new fucking puppy was introduced to this world.  _ Holy shit, Winchester, you did not just think that _ _._ Castiel was turning him into a dopey, love sick boyfriend, but in all honesty, he couldn’t complain. He loved being with Castiel, and sometimes he thought that maybe, just maybe, he possibly loved Castiel, too.

“C’mon, it’s almost six at night.”

“What?” Hadn’t they lay down for a quick nap at eleven?  _ AM _ _?_ “No, you’re shitting me. It is  _ not _ six.” Dean sat up to pulled out his phone and groaned when it flashed 6:08 PM. “Cas, why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Don’t get pissed at me,” Castiel snapped. “You’ve been cranky for days, you needed to get some sleep.”

“I haven’t been cranky for days,” Dean muttered without conviction. Castiel snorted, pushing Dean back into a lying position on the bed.

“Yeah, and I was born yesterday.” Castiel kissed him deeply before pulling off and returning to his textbook.

“I’d better hope not, or else I’d be a pervert.”

“You  _ are _ a pervert, Dean,” Castiel teased.

“Hey!” Dean sat up again, hugging the blankets around him. “I am not a pervert.”

“I only just turned eighteen a week before I met you. You were almost a pervert.”

“Almost, Cas. Almost.” Dean trudged over to where Cas was sitting, dragging the blanket over his shoulders with him. He sat on his boyfriend’s lap, careful not to put too much weight onto the swiveling chair. “There’s a difference.”

“Hmmm,” Castiel hummed leaning in just enough to hover his lips over Dean’s but not close enough to actually kiss him. “You sure?”

“Very.” Dean wanted to lean in the final millimeter and kiss his boyfriend, but Cas had that mischievous glint in his eyes that said he wasn’t done quite yet.

Castiel was also making it very clear that he  _ wasn’t  _ going to lean in that final molecule and kiss Dean. Probably payback for bitching at him. Fucking hell.

“Aren’t you gonna kiss me,” Dean whispered, placing his blanket clad hand onto Castiel’s shoulder. “Mr. Novak?”

Dean was only hoping that it’d make Castiel kiss him, possibly turn him on a little bit. What he hadn’t expected was for Castiel to attack him, tongue pressing insistently into his mouth and pulling him closer onto his lap. Dean moaned, hands flying to Castiel’s mop of black hair and finding purchase. It was unexpected, but damn was it welcome.

“Do you…” Castiel latched onto his neck, sucking perfectly, causing Dean to stretch the length of skin as far as he could. “…have any…” Dean threw his head back, grinding his hips down in a circle, causing the other man to moan obscenely.  “…idea…” Castiel was rocking his hips upwards, voice getting deeper and words becoming less clear. “…what you do to me?”

“ Yes ,” Dean moaned, sealing their lips again. It was difficult to ignore how hard he was, especially when he could feel just how hard  Castiel was. _ You should be studying for finals _ _,_ a voice in his head told him.  _ Fuck off, _ he responded immediately.

Bravely, Castiel traced a hand down Dean’s chest. He kept going lower and lower, savoring each piece of flannel covered skin.  _ Holy shit, he’s still going lower _ _,_ Dean was practically chanting inside his head. Dean thought he was going to die when Castiel stopped moving his hand downward, inches away from his aching cock.

“ _ Cas _ ,” Dean would deny for the rest of his life just how much the word sounded like a whine. Their eyes met, lust blown pupils dilating with the contact. “ _ Please _ .”

Castiel’s eyes ignited as he slammed their lips together again, tongue dominating Dean’s. Dean moaned loudly, probably loud enough for the entire hall to hear him, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was Castiel.

The hand on his waist line moved lower, popping the button of his jeans; lower, slowly unzipping them, which made Dean squirm. Castiel’s hand wasn’t shaking at all, his eyes hadn’t strayed from Dean’s. His other hand joined into the fray when he lifted Dean slightly to pull the denim downwards.

Dean’s breath had caught in his throat, mouth hanging open as he stared into Castiel’s eyes. He felt as if Cas was diving deep into his very soul, searching and somehow finding exactly what he was looking for. And as Dean watched the corners of Castiel’s eyes crinkle slightly, he had never been more in love.

Castiel’s hands were hooked around the waistband of his boxers,  _ and holy mother of god this is really happening. Castiel fucking Novak is about to see my dick. This is actually happening. Holy shit. This is actually – _

“Hey brother, do you have the notes from –  _ holy shit! ” _

Dean practically flew off of Castiel, grabbing at the blanket to cover himself. His boxers were still fully on, which seemed really fucking fortunate right now. His eyes must’ve still been blown wide, but the redness covering his skin wasn’t completely for the same reason anymore.

“Benny!” Dean didn’t mean to sound half as scared as he did.

Castiel was still on the chair, legs splayed wide and chest heaving. The tent in his sweatpants was completely obvious, as was the deer in the headlights look he was sporting. A part of Dean wanted to cover his boyfriend, use his blanket and shield him from view. No one else should get to see Castiel like that.

“Warn a man before he walks in on, on –  _ on that! ” _

“You were supposed to be in class!” Castiel exclaimed, seeming to finally gain his composure. He tucked his legs in on the chair, blocking his crotch from view.

“I told you it got moved to tomorrow,” Benny rubbed his eyes, probably trying to remove the image from his memory. “Seriously though, on the chair?”

“Be thankful it wasn’t  _ your _ chair,” Dean teased. Benny groaned and flipped him off.

 

 

“Hey Dean-o, wait up!” Dean turned around, surprised to see Gabriel running up to him. He was headed back to his own dorm to study with Balthazar. He still had his last final tomorrow morning.

“What’s up?” The last time Dean had properly talked to Gabriel was when he’d been locked in that lecture hall with Castiel. Other than that, he’d only greeted him briefly in passing. They didn’t really have anything in common other than Castiel. 

This was probably bad. Shit. 

“Is Cas okay?”

“Calm down, bucko,” Gabe reassured. “Cassie’s fine.”

“Oh. That’s always good.”

“Heh,” Gabe laughed, throwing a wink towards Dean. “Sure. I actually wanted to ask you a question about my dear little Cassie.”

Dean squinted, not sure where The Trickster was going with this. “Fire away.”

“Have you had sex with Cassie yet?” Straight up. No hesitation. Didn’t even blink.

“ _ What? _ ”

“Have you and my little brother done the do?” Gabriel repeated, looking slightly annoyed.

“I heard you, but  _ why? _ ”

“It’s in my interest. Now answer the question.”

“No.”

“Dean, answer the question,” Gabriel demanded, somehow trapping Dean against the wall. How could someone so much smaller than Dean cage him into a wall?

“Dude! I said no! I’ve never had sex with Cas, Jesus.”

“Oh.” Gabriel backed away, a lazy beam working its way across his features. “Good. I was right.”

_ I was right? _ Dean squinted his eyes, and this time it was him who stepped into Gabriel’s personal space. “Who were you trying to prove wrong?”

Gabe merely grinned, patting Dean on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, Dean-o. Just make sure that your answer changes from a ‘no’ to a ‘yes’ real soon.”

“I am  _ not _ discussing my sex life with my boyfriend’s brother,” Dean muttered, rubbing his tired eyes. This was ridiculous. But hey, now he had Gabriel’s blessing.

“Oh yeah, and Dean?” Dean looked up. “Not to go through the whole big brother routine thing, but you hurt Cas? I’ll kill you. See you around, tiger.”

Dean rolled his eyes as Gabriel disappeared around the corner, but the words still echoed in Dean’s mind as he finished the trek to his dorm. It wasn’t unusual to hear an older sibling say something like that - hell, he’d done close enough for Jo (after which he was punched for) - but for some reason, Gabriel sounded dead serious. Dean had never planned on hurting Castiel in any way, but the words still troubled him.

He briefly considered making a stop at Castiel’s dorm to kiss him goodnight, but he really did need to study. One kiss goodnight would probably lead into a lot more kisses goodnight and a possible kiss good morning. Yeah, Dean needed to study.

Balthazar was already spread across the floor when he got to his own dorm room, papers and textbooks everywhere. Balth looked up and cocked his head to the side. Dean was sure that was a mannerism he learned from Castiel.

“Well, hello. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Sometimes Dean wondered about Balthazar’s British accent. He’d lived in Kansas his entire life, and neither of his parents were British. It didn’t make sense. Castiel’s only answer was,  _ He was really into Doctor Who . _

“Try a death threat from my boyfriend’s brother.”

“Gabe?” Dean nodded. “Of course. What did he say?”

“He said that if I ever hurt Cas then he’d kill me,” Dean shrugged, throwing his favorite leather jacket onto his bed. “I get it. It’s just…I get the feeling that Gabe’s completely serious.”

“Trust me, Winchester,” Balthazar grinned, “He is.”

“Gee, thanks Balth.”

“What, did you want me to lie?”

“No,” Dean admitted, pulling out his own textbooks. “I just don’t understand what was up with him today.”

“What did he want to know?” Balthazar asked offhandedly.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, taking a seat at his desk. “Whether or not I’d had sex with Cas yet.” Dean hadn’t expected Balthazar to whip his head up at that, or to stare at him like a predator.

“What did you say?”

“That we hadn’t,” Balthazar looked like he was hanging onto Dean’s every word. “Why does it matter?”

“What do you mean, you haven’t?” Balthazar squinted his eyes, somehow getting closer to Dean.

“We haven’t yet,” Dean was starting to get uncomfortable.

Balth studied him for a long moment, never breaking eye contact. Neither of them said anything until Balthazar broke the silence. 

“That’s bullshit.”

Dean pouted, thoroughly confused as to why Balthazar even cared. 

“No it’s not.”

“You can’t tell me that Cassie hasn’t shown you all his special skills yet.”  _ I’m sorry, what? Special skills? _

“What are you talking about?”

“Castiel is an absolute maniac in the sheets. I can feel it radiating off of him.” Balthazar squinted again before turning back towards his notes. “He’d have you riding him like a horse in half a second.”

Dean frowned again, caught off by his roommate’s comment. Was it so obvious that he was willing to let Castiel top him? Why was that even a problem? And what the hell were these special skills that Castiel had? Dean’s overactive imagination chose that time to supply him with all types of dirty images. Tongues in places one would never think of in while in church. God, his parents would have a heart attack if they knew the fantasies running through his head.

Shiiit.

“Whatever. I think that’s enough talking about my sex life for today.”

“Trust me, Winchester,” Balth muttered. “If it wasn’t for Cassie, I wouldn’t want to know anything about your sex life.”

“If it wasn’t for Cas, you  _ wouldn’t _ know anything about it.”

 

 

“Jo invited us to go out with her and Benny tonight.”

“Did she, Dean? I thought she was ‘mentally scarred’ for the rest of her life from the last time she was in the same room as you.”

“Cas, we’ve discussed this. We’re never mentioning that again.”

“What? Don’t like the memory of Jo seeing you eat a salad?”

“I had a reputation to uphold!”

Castiel rolled his eyes, closing the book he was reading and sitting down next to his boyfriend on the couch. “There’s nothing wrong with eating a salad every now and again.”

“Jesus, you sound like Sammy.”

“Does Sam ever do this?” Castiel leaned in and kissed him.

“I hope not.” Dean responded breathlessly. Castiel beamed, stroking his thumb across Dean’s jaw.

“So are we going to go out with Jo and Benny or not?”

It was now or never. Balthazar had spent the last night dropping hints about how wild Castiel could be. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t fantasized about it all night and during half of his last exam. Dean was in way over his head.

“Or we could…” Dean hesitated for a moment. He pushed back slightly to make room and leaned down to press a kiss to Castiel’s groin.

If he’d been expecting a positive reaction, he didn’t get one. Castiel immediately tensed, face flooding a deep red. Dean’s probably matched.

“Dean, what are you doing?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

Dean cleared his throat as he sat back up, providing even more distance between Castiel and himself. “Uh…nothing, sorry.”

Castiel tilted his head to the side, looking at Dean with confusion, but Dean refused to meet his eyes. He’d fucked up. Castiel was very obviously  _ not _ interested right now. He’d thought that he would be, that he  _ could _ be, but apparently he and Balthazar had been reading the wrong signals.

“Yeah… Yeah, we can go out with Jo and Benny.”

To say that Dean was awkward as all hell while walking to the restaurant would be an understatement. The two of them almost always held hands, or at least brushed fingers, but neither of them seemed to be willing to even sway their hands near each other. The blush that he’d been sporting ever since his try at sexual contact was still fully intact, much to his dismay.

Neither of them had said a word.

It wasn’t that Dean was upset with Castiel. He’d be the world’s biggest dick if he was upset by Castiel’s unwillingness to have sex with him. He was just overly embarrassed at having read the signs wrong and completely humiliating himself in front of his boyfriend.

“Well, don’t you two look awkward,” Jo commented when they walked in and sat on opposite sides of the table. They were notorious for practically sitting on top of each other.

“Shut the hell up.”

“Whoa brother,” Benny fixed Dean with a confused glare. “Calm it down.”

Dean rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything. They didn’t get it. It wasn’t like  _ they _ just got rejected by their boyfriend. Completely, utterly, fucktuply rejected.

Dean scooted even further away from where Castiel was. Jo noticed, and her brows pinched together. She studied them, confusion written across her face.

“You guys need to go have angry sex.”

Three things happened at once; Benny erupted into laughter, Castiel looked down at his lap and made himself smaller, and Dean jumped up from his seat to glare at her.

“What the  _ fuck _ _,_ Jo?” Dean practically yelled it, earning a few angry mutters from surrounding patrons.

“What?” Her voice went cold, dangerous. Dammit, Dean was in harsh waters. Now he wasn’t only going to fuck up his relationship with Cas, but all his fucking friendships too. And he was messing with a Harvelle, shit was about to hit the fan.

“What was that for?”

“It was just an observation,  _ Winchester _ _._ Maybe you should listen to me.”

“Hey! Both of you, shut the hell up and calm the fuck down,” Benny snapped. “We’re supposed to be celebrating the end of finals. Not arguing.”

Dean’s eyes traveled down to Castiel, but he was refusing to make eye contact. Castiel, king of staring, refused to make eye contact. Fuck this.

“I’m out,” Dean bit harshly. “You guys can celebrate without me.” And with that, Dean left the place feeling even crappier than he had when he went in.

 

~*~

 

“What the  _ fucking hell _ is his problem?” Jo hissed, glaring at the door where Dean had just left.

“Don’t ask me,” Benny muttered, turning to look at Cas evenly.

Castiel had felt crappy ever since…earlier, but now he felt even worse. Dean had left, had literally just left Castiel and had stormed out of the restaurant. There hadn’t even been a goodbye. He’d screwed up. He’d screwed up so badly. But when Dean kissed him...well, down there, he didn’t know what to do. He froze up, a million thoughts screaming through his mind. He was going to fail Dean. He wasn’t going to meet Dean’s expectations, even come  _ near _ them. If he didn’t do anything now, he  _ would _ fail Dean. Fuck, he’d already failed Dean. And now Castiel had never felt so alone.

“I think this may be my fault,” Castiel said in a small voice.

“How?” Jo whipped her head around to pin Castiel with her stare.

“I... I panicked. Dean attempted to seduce me and I panicked.” Castiel’s voice was barely above a whisper, but Benny and Jo still seemed to hear him.

“What?” Jo’s eyes were wide. “You mean you haven’t…”

“No,” Castiel blushed, wishing he was talking about anything else. “We haven’t.”

“Holy shit,” Benny looked surprised. “You’re gonna get owned by Gabriel, Jo.”

“Shut the hell up.”

Castiel looked up, confused. It wasn’t quite the reaction he’d been expecting. “What are you talking about?”

Jo looked to Benny and bit her lip. “Ah... we may have been arguing over whether or not you’ve had sex with Dean.”

He was going to throw up. “Who is  _ we _ ?”

“Gabe, me, Benny, well, Benny was there but he didn’t wanna know, and Balth.”

“You sons of bitches,” Castiel swore.

“Hey!” Jo smacked him in the arm. “It wasn’t like we were trying to force you into anything. We were merely guessing as to what you guys had done.”

“That’s none of your goddamn business,” He bit out fiercely. Castiel knew it was wrong to be taking out his anger on them, but he was so fucking angry. He was angry at himself, for being too scared and nervous to let Dean do what he himself had wanted for months. 

Castiel suddenly deflated.

“Listen.” He rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Benny shrugged. “On the other hand, neither you or Dean are fine. Go talk to him, brother.”

“But – ”

“No buts,” Jo interrupted, pushing Castiel towards the end of the table. “Only Dean’s butt. Now go.”

“Fine,” Castiel agreed reluctantly. “Assbutts.”

 

 

The walk to Dean’s dorm was the worst part. Hundreds of scenarios played in Castiel’s head, all of them ending with the same look of hurt flashing across Dean’s face. Cas begged in his head, kissed him, got down on his knees, screamed, but the Dean in his mind unfailingly turned away every time. Every scene chipped away at his heart until he’d convinced himself there was nothing left of it that Dean would even want.

Standing outside Dean’s door, Castiel raised a fist to knock. He hesitated for a good three seconds before lowering his hand and raising it again. He groaned, indecision warring inside of him before steeling his resolve and knocking firmly. There was a muffled groan followed by what sounded like someone swearing, before Balthazar - looking extremely flustered - threw the door open.

“Cassie, darling, please take care of him.” 

Castiel looked around him to see Dean curled up in a ball under his blankets. 

“I’m leaving for the night. He better be okay when I get back tomorrow. I’m not dealing with an emotionally constipated roommate.”

Balthazar turned to grab his phone and escaped the room, leaving the door open for Castiel.

Cas walked in, closing the door softly. He slowly raised his eyes to Dean, dreading to see him refusing to meet his eyes again. Dean was still turned away, stiff as a board.

“Dean…”

“Go away, Cas,” Dean mumbled, burrowing deeper under his blankets. Why did those three words make Castiel feel so empty? “We can talk tomorrow.”

“Dean-”

“No, Cas.”

“Stop being so goddamn difficult, Dean Winchester,” Castiel bit out. Rage began to boil in his stomach, and Cas took a deep breath, pushing it back down. “I came here to talk to you.”

“Castiel Novak. I’m telling you to go away.”

It would’ve been so easy. So easy to walk out, right there and then. He could live with the consequences. He would get on with his life. He’d survived so many years without Dean - he could survive the rest of it without him. 

“No.” 

Dean did move this time. He sat up and glared at Castiel. It took more effort than he was willing to admit not to just sink back into his pit of self loathing and pity.

“What do you mean,  _ no _ ?” Dean’s voice was hard. “You’ve already made it perfectly clear you don’t want me, so I don’t know why you’re sticking around.”

“What the hell, Dean?” Castiel huffed out an annoyed breath, moving closer to the foot of Dean’s bed. “I panicked, okay? I fucking panicked. I didn’t know what to do, and  _ fuck _ . I-I knew I wouldn’t be able to give you what you wanted, and then  _ you’d _ be the one running far fucking away, and - I couldn’t -”

“What are you talking about?” Dean moved closer, despite the distance in his voice. “You pushed me away. You - you didn’t want me.” In a softer voice, Dean whispered, "You don't have to pretend to want me."

Dean thought -  _ that _ was what Dean was thinking?

“But I do.” Castiel took a deep breath, holding it for a second before letting it out. “I asked you what you were doing. I never said to stop.”

“It was pretty damn obvious you wanted me to stop,” Dean muttered, eyes far away.

“Dean. I didn’t know what you were trying to ask. I thought if I jumped to conclusions - well, I’m sorry if my virgin mind couldn’t piece it together.” Castiel rolled his eyes, freezing when Dean finally, painfully slowly, turned his eyes on Cas.

“You’re a virgin?”

“Yes.”

“You’re a virgin.”

“Yes.”

“Fuuuuuck.” Dean rolled around and buried his face back into his pillow. “Crap, I’m sorry, Cas. I’m so damn sorry, I fucked up. Your first time and I completely fucked you over just because I thought there was no fucking way you didn’t have experience, because you’re just so goddamn amazing and now everything’s just fucked up.” 

Castiel felt the tightness in his chest loosen, and he eased down to sit next to Dean. “I have plenty of experience in kissing and a little dry humping, Dean. I have had boyfriends before.”

“But you’ve never…?”

“No,” Castiel admitted. “I’ve been waiting to do it with someone that I love.”

Dean’s face fell, eyes cast downward. “Oh. Okay.”

“Dean,” Castiel grabbed his hand, bringing it up to his lips and placing a gentle kiss to the skin. “Will you be my first?”


	9. Chapter Nine

Dean’s heart started pounding, his fingers twitching where Castiel held them.  _ Did Cas just tell me he loved him? Did that just happen? _

“Cas?”

“Yeah?” Castiel’s voice was soft, almost an exhale.

“Did you just… Did you just say you love me?” Dean didn’t want to believe it. He couldn’t let himself believe it.

“Yes.” Castiel let out a gentle laugh. “Of course, Dean.” 

He lifted Dean’s hand to his lips again. “I love you, Dean Winchester.” He kissed his hand again and again, all the while never looking away from his eyes. Dean’s breath hiccuped, and in that tiny jolt, the pieces fell together, the floodgates finally clicked open, and Dean was drowning in realization.

_ “ Cas. _ _”_ Dean wasn’t even ashamed that the word came out as a sob. “I love you, too.”

Castiel’s eyes lit up, joy crinkling at the corners. Dean didn’t get to stare into his eyes for very long, because within seconds his lips were sealed with Castiel’s.

“Do you?” Castiel whispered, hands splaying across Dean’s back. “Do you love me?”

“More than anything.”

“Pinky promise?” Dean looked into Castiel’s eyes, could see tenderness pouring from his soul. Tenderness for  _ Dean _ when all he’d done was be a complete dick to him today. God, he wanted to give that right back. He loved Cas. He loved him. He loved Castiel so damn much.

“Yes, fuck yes, Cas,” Dean twisted his pinky finger around Castiel’s and squeezed. “I pinky promise.”

“I love you so much,” Castiel chanted into Dean’s skin, pulling away only to push Dean backwards onto the bed. They landed with a soft thud. Dean giggled,  _ giggled _ _,_ before Castiel silenced him with a kiss and smiled against his lips. God, it was perfect; the slow slide of lips and tongue, the gentle touches, no rush at all. They were exploring each other, just like the first time they’d kissed. It felt like ages ago - it might as well have been.

When Castiel pulled back for air, if only by a centimeter, Dean leaned up to kiss his way up his lover’s neck. His eyelids had fluttered closed, his body relying solely on touch and contact. He wanted to memorize every spot on Castiel’s body, to be able to recite the position of every bone and every lift of each muscle. He wanted to worship Castiel; and he wanted Castiel to want him to.

“Say it again,” Dean whispered, pressing a chaste kiss back to Castiel’s lips. The other man hummed, tipping his forehead to rest against Dean’s.

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you.”

_ “ Cas _ _,”_ Dean cherished the name, loving the feel of it on his lips. “I love you.”

“I know.”

Dean gaped at Cas for a moment. “Did you just… You just Han Solo’d me.”

Cas grinned cheekily. “I know.” He reached down and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair and  _ oh _ _,_ he instantly found the spot that Dean could never resist.

Then they were kissing again, the non-stop worship of each other, of the person they loved. Dean had never felt more alive, safer than he did in that moment. Being with Castiel, it was home.

Castiel spread his legs farther, straddling Dean’s waist. Dean moaned at the pressure it put on his cock, Castiel’s rubbing against it insistently. Things would be over far too quickly at this rate. He wanted to take it slowly, he wanted to cherish his boyfriend, to show him how much he loved him.

Castiel was persistent though, making quick work of removing Dean’s flannel overshirt. _“_ _ Please, Dean _ _,”_ Castiel whispered, moving down to mouth at his collar bone. He was making this - and him - damn hard.

“Ca-  _ Cas _ _,”_ Dean half-moaned as Castiel’s hand found its way down to press at his crotch. “Slow down, baby.” He smiled at his boyfriend; warm, inviting. “We’ve got all night. I want to take our time.”

Castiel huffed, pawing one last time at Dean’s growing bulge _(_ _ oh god _ _)_ before settling with sealing his hands over Dean’s hips. Dean was pretty sure he’d heard a muttered “Better be worth it,” and laughed.

“Impatient,” he murmured with a smile. “Don’t worry. It will be.”

He returned his lips to his lover’s, slowly and carefully kissing him, until they were once again panting into each other’s mouths. Castiel rolled his hips down in a particularly filthy grind, causing Dean’s brain to short circuit, all thoughts of slowing down gone out the window.

“Damnit, Cas,” Dean moaned, breaking away from the kiss and lifting his hips to meet Castiel’s next grind. “Thought you were a - _ ah - _ a virgin.”

His answer was a low growl, surprising and turning Dean on beyond belief. Castiel ground his hips down harder, aligning their hard-ons perfectly as he sucked on the juncture between Dean’s neck and shoulder. “Not for long.”

Castiel’s hands strayed back downwards, tugging on his belt loops and pulling Dean even closer. One hand moved to hover over the button of his jeans, and Cas looked up into Dean’s eyes, staring with all the sincerity in the world.

“May I?”

Dean nodded, and Castiel deftly unhooked his belt and threw it to the side; unbuttoning Dean’s pants and tugging the zip down to reveal Dean’s boxers, his erection pressing against the embarrassingly wet fabric.

And with that, Cas’s hand was wrapped around his cock, hot and inviting, his skin just the right amount of rough and soft. Dean moaned loudly, probably too loudly, and bucked his hips up wildly.

“C-Cas,” Dean could barely get the words out.                                                         

“Shhh,” Castiel reassured, stroking down and up Dean’s length a few times. Dean’s eyes fluttered closed, focusing on the drag of Castiel’s palm around his dick. His pants and boxers were now pooled at his ankles, but he didn’t yet have the resolve to kick them off, all his energy reserved for squirming wildly and making sure Castiel did not under any circumstance stop.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” Cas leaned back slightly to lift his glasses off his nose and tucked it into his hair; it was the only warning Dean got before Cas was leaning back down and wet heat suddenly enveloped his cock. His eyes flew open, and holy mother of  shit . Castiel was looking back up at him, pupils blown so wide with lust that there were only slivers of blue left. Castiel,  _ Castiel _ _,_ was currently sucking down Dean’s cock. Their eyes met, and despite having Dean’s large cock in his mouth, Castiel somehow managed to smirk at Dean, all the while pulling inhuman noises out of Dean.

It wasn’t perfect, but Dean didn’t expect it to be. Castiel’s technique was sloppy, but  damn , did his motivation make up for it. He was sucking like he was being fucking paid to do it, swirling his tongue around Dean as best he could.

Dean had his back pressed flat against the mattress, and had thrown his arm over his mouth, trying his damndest to reign in on his own moaning. They were in a dorm full of college kids and Cas was making him forget that with every press of his goddamn tongue. Dean made himself a promise to get Castiel well and truly alone sometime  _ very _ soon.

He could feel precum leaking out of him at an almost steady pace.  _ Fuck, Cas just keeps going _ _._ He’d pull off after a particularly powerful suck to place a light kiss to the tip of Dean’s dick before going right back down on him, hands braced against Dean’s hips. He did it again, this time swirling only the tip of his tongue around the head of Dean’s cock, lapping up the precum and  _ fuck, this had to stop right fucking now. _

“Cas, Cas,” Dean tried to sound urgent, but heard his fucked out voice instead. “I’m gonna come if you don’t stop.” He was poised on the edge, ready to fall at any second. “Cas, please.”

Castiel placed another gentle kiss against Dean’s cock, pulling off but not without brushing his fingertips against Dean’s balls first.

Dean was sure his parents could hear his moan from all the way back home.

“You’re a loud one, aren’t you Dean?” Castiel teased, still managing to sound utterly seductive, with his voice even rougher than usual. There was a line of saliva running down the side of his jaw, and Dean pulled his boyfriend back down and licked it clean. At any other time, he might’ve found the gesture gross, but jesus, he was  not  in his right mind.

He was drunk on love, high on Cas, and so very fucked in the name of fucking.

Dean scooped his boyfriend closer, straddling Cas onto his lap. Castiel was still fully clothed, and well, that just wouldn’t do. “We gotta get these clothes off.”

“Not yet.” Castiel stopped Dean’s hand where it was tugging at the hem of his blue sweater, and Dean raised his eyes, only to be met with the sight of a cartoon bee staring at him. Dean laughed, which in turn made Castiel frown down at him.

“You’re wearing your bee sweater,” Dean offered in way of explanation.

“So? I plan on taking it off soon.”

“You were wearing it the day I barged in to your dorm room,” Dean amended as understanding lit up Castiel’s eyes.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Dean grinned, leaning up and kissing his boyfriend. They’d been casually grinding (casual grinding, was that even a thing? How could you just grind with someone casually?) ever since Castiel had been pulled onto Dean’s lap. “Now tell me again why I can’t strip you down?”

“Because I want to get you completely naked before I take anything off.”

The authoritative husk in his tone had Dean shivering in pleasure. He swallowed hard. He’d only ever heard his boyfriend use that voice once, on their first date, and fuck if it didn’t send excitement coursing through his veins.

Even though Castiel’s voice left no room for objection, he still held a slight question in his eyes. It was an out, Dean realized. His boyfriend was giving him a way to say no, to turn away or stop with no questions asked. It made Dean want to give Cas everything he had.

Dean nodded, lifting his arms so Castiel could slip off his undershirt from where it had bunched up at his chest. Castiel beamed, leaning down and sealing their lips in another heated kiss after removing the article of clothing. His boyfriend turned around and proceeded to crawl down the bed towards where Dean’s pants and boxers were pooled at his ankles, giving Dean an extremely nice view of his ass. Dean only regretted that it was still clothed, but that problem would be solved once Castiel hurried up and got him goddamn  _ naked _ _._ Cas was taking his time, pressing a slow, chaste kiss to Dean’s cock before he made his way and removed the obstacle from Dean’s legs.

Completely naked, Dean waited until Castiel was hovering above him once more to wrap his arms and legs around him. Castiel, still raking Dean over with his eyes, was caught off guard and gracelessly fell onto Dean with an “oomph.”

“Dean, you didn’t give me enough time,” Castiel chastised, a small pout on his lips.

“To do what?”

“Memorize you.”

And that… Dean didn’t have a response to that. So instead of responding, he laced his fingers through Castiel’s hair and leaned in for an innocent kiss. Castiel responded in kind, bringing a hand up to brush Dean’s jaw.

“I love you, you know that?” Dean asked, smiling into the kiss.

“Yes,” Castiel sighed peacefully, moving his hands to Dean’s hips. “I do too.” That wasn’t all Dean wanted to hear though. Grinning, Dean thrust his hips upward, grinding against Castiel’s still hard cock and causing Cas to moan in surprise.

“Is that all you wanted to say, Cas?” Dean asked, slowly pressing his crotch closer to Cas’s. “Are you sure - there’s nothing - else?” He punctuated his sentence with little licks up the stretch of Cas’s neck and a sneaky hand up Castiel’s shirt, smiling against skin as Cas gasped.

“I love you, too, Dean Winchester.” Castiel’s eyes filled with lust again and he set his jaw. “But now, I think it’s time for you to undress me.”

“Fuck yes,” Dean agreed quickly, hands roaming from his boyfriend’s back to his waist. It was time to get that sweater the fuck off. Castiel must have been thinking the same thing, because he readily helped Dean to remove the offensive pieces of clothing that had the audacity to hide his boyfriend’s skin from him.

“Shit - my glasses -” They had been long forgotten, still perched on top of Cas’ head, and were now caught in between his sweater and hair. Castiel’s arms slumped, head and limbs still half stuck along with his glasses. Dean gave a snort, which turned into a wracking, full bodied laugh as he leaned forwards to rest his head against Castiel’s chest, still laughing.

“Dean.” Castiel brought his tangled arms down on Dean’s general direction. “It’s not funny. Get this off of me.”

“Whatever you say, babe,” Dean said, still grinning. He helped Cas pull his sweater off the rest of the way, neatly plucking his glasses from the mess and setting it aside before pulling Castiel’s shirt off to admire his chest.

Dean had known Castiel had muscle, but he hadn’t known until now just how goddamn crazy it drove him.  Fuck, Cas might be stronger than him. Dean certainly wouldn’t mind getting manhandled by him. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Castiel teased.

Dean grinned. “I might actually take you up on that offer.” He feigned stretching his arm out – eyes still trained on Castiel’s chest and torso – to grab his phone when Castiel swatted at his arm. “I was only kidding!”

“I know, baby.” Dean smiled and leaned in to flick his tongue across Castiel’s left nipple. This, apparently, was the best thing he could have done, because never in Dean’s entire life had he heard someone moan like  _ that . _

He sucked the hardening bud between his teeth, rolling it around with his tongue. Castiel was panting, one hand on Dean’s shoulder and the other gripping Dean’s left tricep tightly. 

“ Dean ,” Cas kept moaning, rolling his hips down with a vengeance. The feeling of friction from Cas’ jeans had Dean’s eyes rolling back as he groaned and thrust harder.

“Dean, stop, god, I’m gonna,  _ Dean _ _,”_ Castiel pushed at his shoulders, making Dean pull off. “I don’t wanna get too close yet.”

“Understandable,” Dean grinned. “I mean, I’m gonna take you apart.”

“Yeah?” Castiel asked. “Well, I’m gonna spread you apart.”

Sometime during their relationship, and he didn’t know how, Dean knew he’d be bottoming for Cas. He’d been expecting it, looked forward to it even. Yet, hearing Castiel say the words so raw, his breath died in his lungs.

The slight panic must have shown in his eyes because Castiel was immediately holding his head in his hands, eyes close and insistent. 

“Dean, are you okay?” Fuck, he sounded way too worried. “We can stop, I’m sorry if I said anything that – ”

“Cas, no, it’s fine.” Dean entwined his fingers with Castiel’s where they were still covering the sides of his head. He was ready to bottom for Castiel, excited even, but he just needed time to react. “I want to bottom for you. I’ve just never done it before.”

“You haven’t?” Castiel’s eyes were wide; not with shock or lust, but with hope. This would be something new for the both of them.

“Nope,” Dean grinned, leaning up and kissing Castiel’s nose. “Guess I was waiting for someone I loved.”

They were pressed so close to each other, close enough that Dean felt the way Castiel’s heart skipped a beat. In the next second, he was also able to feel the way Castiel plowed his tongue into his mouth, taking complete control.

“ Cas ,” Dean moaned around his lips, moving his hands down to Castiel’s waist and unbuttoning his jeans. He went to unzip them, but felt Castiel seize up before quickly trying to cover it up. Too bad for him that Dean had noticed. His hands were off of him in seconds. Castiel whined a bit in frustration, but there was no way in hell Dean was going to keep going without Castiel’s explicit permission. 

“Cas, you okay?”

“Yes,” Castiel practically hissed it, grabbing Dean’s hand and bringing it back to his crotch. Dean tried to pull his hand back again but Castiel’s grip was like iron.

“Castiel,” Dean said seriously. “You have to talk to me, man.” Castiel was looking back at him with a look that could kill. Dean sighed and stopped trying to wriggle his hand out of Castiel’s grip. “I want to make sure you’re completely on board with this. I won’t be disappointed if you back out now. Hell, I’d be the biggest dick on campus if I got offended by you not being ready. I don’t want you for sex, I want  _ you _ _._ We can stop if you – ”

“Dean,” Castiel cut him off, eyes shining . “I was just nervous. I’ve been waiting for this for months. I want it, I want you, too. Please, I want this so much it hurts.”

“Just say yes, Cas,” Dean pleaded, needing to hear direct confirmation. “Just give me your complete consent and we’ll continue.”

Castiel leveled him with a stare, completely serious. “Dean Winchester. I, Castiel Novak, give my complete and utter consent, and assure you that I really want to fuck you. Happy?”

Well, that was definitely consent.

Dean surged up and kissed his boyfriend, deep and needy. His hand continued unzipping Castiel’s jeans, loving the way Cas was trying to hold back from thrusting his hips. Dean scooped his hands around his boyfriend’s ass and squeezed as soon as Castiel had wriggled out of his jeans. He grinned when Castiel let out a little yelp and bucked his hips forward.  _ Still the same as the first time I kissed him . _

Dean swallowed the nervous anticipation that was building up, as he wrapped his fingertips around the waistline of Castiel’s boxers.  _ Holy shit, mother of god, motherfucking holy shit, I’m gonna see Cas’ dick _ _._ Castiel deepened the kiss, seeming to sense Dean’s momentary apprehension. With a particularly filthy swipe of Castiel’s tongue, Dean pulled down carefully.

He lasted all of three seconds before he broke the kiss and looked down at his boyfriend’s cock. Holy. Shit. Dean wasn’t a slacker in the size department, but Castiel made him look positively  _ small _ _._ How was that thing going to fit inside of him?

“Am I…am I adequate enough for you?” Castiel asked quietly. Dean’s eyes bugged out, whipping his head up from where it had been deadlocked on Castiel’s cock to his eyes.

“Are you serious?” Dean gasped. “I think you’re pretty fucking adequate, Cas.”

“Good,” Castiel beamed, leaning in and kissing the stupid shock off of Dean’s lips. “Because I can’t wait to slide into you.” Dean blushed at the words, feeling the blood pool to the surface of his skin and rush to his dick. “I bet you’ll feel amazing. You’ll ruin me for anyone else. Not that I’d want anyone else. Just you.”

“Just me,” Dean parroted back. “Just you.”

Castiel kicked off his jeans and boxers, tossing them somewhere in the general vicinity of anywhere in the room. They were now both completely naked, skin on skin. Dean couldn’t help himself from wrapping his hand around Castiel’s length, giving a few tugs and smearing the precum forming at the tip as Cas writhed and moaned.

“If Balth walks in now, he’s gonna have a heart attack,” Dean pointed out, squeezing Castiel’s ass once more.

“Please don’t bring up my best friend while we’re having sex, Dean.”

“Fine,” Dean smiled. “But technically, we aren’t having sex yet.”

“Logistics,” Castiel muttered, grinding his cock down onto Dean’s. A moan was ripped from his body, cutting off any reply. They kept grinding, creating sweet friction between them. Dean was utterly blissed out, slowly reaching towards the edge, but still in enough control to stop himself from coming. It wouldn’t last long.

“Cas. Lube. Condom. In the drawer. Now.”

For a terrible, horrible moment Castiel was gone, leaving Dean cold and empty-armed without his presence. His cock was hard; aching and leaking everywhere. 

_ “ Cas _ _.”_ Dean wouldn’t admit the needy whine that came out of his mouth without permission.

After a few seconds, Castiel returned, a bottle of lube and a condom in both hands. Dean, the needy little shit he pretended not to be, immediately wrapped his arms and legs around his boyfriend, pulling him in as close as was physically possible.

Castiel set the condom to the side and uncapped the lube, smearing a generous amount onto his fingers. He settled between Dean’s legs, encouraging him to spread them wider. Dean felt self-conscious and exposed, unfamiliar with someone seeing him like this. But he trusted Cas. He felt safe doing this with Cas, when with anyone else he’d have backed away long ago.

“Do you know what to do?” Dean had been with guys before, but he’d always topped. He knew what to expect, but if Cas wasn’t sure what to do. He’d need Dean to help him so neither of them got hurt.

“Yes.”

“How?”

Castiel looked away, a small blush working its way up his neck. How Castiel could get embarrassed now, with both of them completely naked, was a mystery to Dean. 

“I’ve done my research.”

“Research, huh?” Dean couldn’t help from teasing. Next thing he knew there was a tongue being flicked across his hole, and Dean gasped, writhing with his eyes squeezed tight.

“Porn mostly, but,” Castiel flicked his tongue again, bracing Dean’s hips down with a steady grip. “I also found some very informative websites.”

Dean decidedly didn’t give a flying fuck about whatever porn websites Castiel had been looking at while he was alone, because  _ motherfucker _ _,_ that tongue was heaven. “ Cas ,” Dean moaned, doing his damn hardest not to buck his hips.

“Shhh,” Castiel whispered, rubbing his thumbs into the V of Dean’s hips. “Let me take care of you.”

“No, Cas,” Dean panted, trying his best to regain his composure. “I’m s’posed to take care of  _ you .” _

Castiel smiled softly, eyes shining. “We can take care of each other.”

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, pressing his head back against the pillow and twisting his fingers through Castiel’s dark hair. “We can do that.”

It was then that a heavily lubed finger circled his hole. Dean’s breath hitched, and for one terrible second Castiel pulled away, but then the finger was back. 

“Shh, baby,” Castiel whispered, circling the finger slowly. Dean could feel his legs trembling with anticipation where they were wrapped around Castiel’s waist.

Slowly, the tip of Cas’ finger pushed inside of him. It was only to the first knuckle, but  fuck , was it weird. Dean had never been fingered, never had anything down there. Dean had to bite down on his bottom lip to keep from making any noise at all.

“It’ll feel weird at first, but your body will adjust,” Castiel supplied, slowly pumping the finger in and out. Dean wanted to tell his boyfriend that he knew that already, that he’d told that exact line to other unnamed partners before, but that would require opening his mouth and Dean didn’t trust himself to keep quiet. Plus, he didn’t give a fuck about any other partners, his only care at that moment was Cas.

The finger kept slowly probing deeper until Castiel’s entire index finger was inside of him. Dean finally let out the moan that had been building up inside of him, only for Castiel’s other hand to clamp over his mouth. “Not yet, Dean. Not until I’m really inside you. You wouldn’t want everyone else hearing, would you? And  _ don’t _ touch yourself.”

Holy  _ fuck _ that was hot. He bit his lip and managed a nod before the tongue was back, flicking at his rim. Dean was squirming shamelessly, trying to press down for more and get more friction at the same time. His body had adjusted to the finger, and his body was begging for more. Did talking count as noise?

“Cas, _ more _ _,”_ Dean pleaded.

“Shh, I got you,” Castiel replied, tracing his tongue along Dean’s rim. There was a second finger suddenly slipping in next to the first one. It was a curious finger, dipping in slightly but always pulling out before it could really breach his rim. It was as Cas pulled the first one out to plunge it back in that the pressure increased and Dean wanted to scream at how slowly pleasure was being dragged out of him.

They were pumping in and out of him, occasionally catching at his rim, and scissoring expertly, never too much or too fast that they would hurt. Castiel was being careful, every movement purposeful. Including, but not limited to, when he brushed Dean’s prostate.

Dean knew Cas had said to keep quiet, but at that moment, it was an utterly unrealistic goal. Dean practically screamed, muffling as much as he could with his arm. He bit down, almost enough to draw blood, but enough to keep from sounding like he was being murdered.

“So good,” Castiel muttered, praising Dean with kisses up his stomach. Dean’s eyes were squeezed shut, body reacting of it’s own accord to his boyfriend’s touch. Castiel’s fingers were still pumping in and out of Dean, faster with each pass. “Think you can take another finger?”

“Mmm,” was all Dean could get out. Castiel kissed his navel once before leaning back down and sliding his tongue in with his two fingers. Dean had to bite back a sob, trying desperately to keep it together. The third finger was in him before he could even collect himself, causing Dean to thrust back onto Castiel’s fingers and tongue with vigor.

Castiel’s tongue pulled back, his fingers pumping faster and faster, scissoring inside of him. The stretch was welcome, pleasurable, perfect.

_ “ Castiel _ _,”_ Dean moaned, completely forgetting to be quiet. _“_ _ I need you .” _

“Almost there, Dean. Just wanna make sure you’re ready.” Castiel was sounding way more fucked out than he had any right to be.

“Cas, I’m ready!” Dean was being too loud, but he was too far gone to care. His vision had narrowed with white pleasure and all he could see was his boyfriend, all he cared about was Cas, all he needed was Castiel,  _ right now _ _._ “Cas, please, don’t make me beg for it,  _ please .” _

“Okay,” Castiel pulled his fingers out, making Dean whine absurdly at the loss. “Okay.”

Castiel was crawling up his body, placing kisses onto every piece of skin he could reach. Dean was bucking his hips up onto Cas, hands grabbing at his boyfriend’s cock. “I have to put on a condom,” Castiel said before he leaned over and grabbed the foil package. Dean looked away, not trusting himself to try to pull Castiel back before he could put it on.

“Hurry up,” Dean groaned, poised to explode, hands an inch away from touching himself just to get some relief. Even with his diminishing resolve, he still ended up thrusting his hips up into the air desperately.

Suddenly Castiel was above him, eyes piercing into his own. Dean’s hands moved from his cock to clench around Castiel’s shoulders, nodding his head to show he was ready. Dean was beyond ready.

His mouth fell open as he felt the head of Castiel’s cock rub against his rim.

“It’s not too late to back out,” Castiel whispered, teasing against his hole.

“Castiel Novak, you motherfucker,” Dean took matters into his own hands and pushed down and up, catching the head of Castiel’s cock just inside his rim. They both moaned, a feral excitement shining in Castiel’s eyes, with a soft undercurrent of tenderness.

“Dean, we have time,” Castiel smiled, leaning down and placing a chaste kiss to Dean’s lips. “Let’s make love, not fuck.”

Despite wanting nothing more than to be pounded into by his boyfriend, Dean closed his eyes, letting out a shaky pant and smiling. “Yes.”

“Good. Then let’s make love.”

Slowly,  _ so fucking slowly _ _,_ Castiel pushed in. Inch by inch, always pulling back out before sliding back in slightly deeper. Dean would be lying if he said he didn’t need the time Cas gave him to adjust. Castiel was  _ huge _ _;_ even with all the prep he’d been given, Dean could still feel a pleasant burn that had his insides humming.

Once Castiel bottomed out, eyes never leaving Dean’s once, he paused. They both lay there taking deep breaths, adjusting to the feeling. Dean was gritting his teeth, waiting for his body to adjust. Castiel looked as if he was having a revelation, his eyes glazing over, yet still never leaving Dean’s. There was so much love in his eyes. So. Much.

Soon enough, the need to  move was also too much. “Cas, you gotta move,” Dean punctuated his words with a roll of his hips, causing Castiel to moan obscenely. It worked, because Castiel rolled his own hips next, pushing himself inside even deeper.

Dean’s hands were fisted around his boyfriend’s shoulders, eyes blown wide with lust and love. Castiel leaned down and kissed him, his lips sweet and perfect. When he went to pull back, Dean grabbed a tuft of his hair and kept him there, not ready to end the kiss just yet.

They kept going like that; slowly rolling their hips in sync with each other and sealing their lips. There was no rush. It was better like this,  _ so much _ better. Dean had wanted this for so long, had dreamed of this happening. The reality was even better than he could have imagined.

“I love you, Castiel Novak,” Dean murmured, softening his grip on Cas’s shoulder.

“And I, you, Dean Winchester.”

Castiel moved his lips downward, mouthing at Dean’s jaw and upper neck. Dean threw his head back, squeezing his eyes shut and pumping his hips upwards. He wrapped his hands around Cas’s ass, pushing him further inside. And  _ oh shit _ _,_ there it was; Dean’s prostate. Castiel, feeling what he just hit, quickly pressed his lips back to Dean’s to muffle his scream.

Now that Cas knew where to aim,  _ he just kept pounding into his prostate _ _._ Dean was reaching the edge at an increasingly alarming rate, writhing and groaning underneath Castiel.

“Cas, Cas, ‘m so close,” Dean moaned, too out of it to be embarrassed at how quickly this was going to end.

“Me too,” Castiel moaned back, thrusting in faster and faster. He removed his right hand from Dean’s hip and found Dean’s hand, entwining them together, making sure his pinky was wrapped tightly around Dean’s. His forehead fell downwards, meeting Dean’s own. They were both panting harshly as they got closer and closer to the edge. Castiel wrapped his hand around Dean’s cock, and that was it. After two pumps, Dean was done for.

_ “ Cas, Cas, oh, Cas,  _ fuck ,  _ Cas _ _,”_ Dean cried, shooting his load all over himself and Castiel. He was coming hard, white spots blotting his vision. Castiel kept thrusting but he wasn’t far behind, hips stuttering as he came. Dean was still coming down from his high, but he could have sworn he heard Cas moaning his name over and over.

 

~*~

 

Goodbye virginity.

Castiel was panting, eyes closed and hand still wrapped loosely around Dean’s cock, still slowly pulling Dean through his orgasm. The last of his come had just been released, but he was too fucked out and tired to move yet. He’d collapsed on top of Dean, but Dean was still coming down from his own high.

Castiel had never been so happy in his entire life. It was worth it, saving his first time for someone he loved. Dean was worth it.

“Cas,” Dean murmured, wrapping his hand around Castiel’s where it was resting around his cock. “Too sensitive.”

“Sorry,” Castiel murmured back, removing his hand and lacing it with Dean’s, just like his other hand.

“You gotta pull out, babe, before you get soft,” Dean exhaled, obviously too tired for more conviction. Castiel complied, lifting himself upwards by a few centimeters and slowly pulling out. They both groaned at the loss.

“I love you,” Castiel whispered, pressing a chaste kiss onto Dean’s lips.

“I love you, too.”

Castiel rolled to the side, groaning as he forced his loose muscles to get up and wander to the bathroom. Cas sent a quick thanks that Dean had one connected to his room and they didn’t have to rely on the community restroom. He threw away the used condom, and stood shocked in front of the mirror. He looked absolutely wrecked, hair an unruly mess, cheeks flushed red, and white stains splattered across his chest. There was also a lovely dark hickey blooming at the base of his neck. When had Dean even done that?

They were definitely going to do this again sometime. Everywhere. Literally everywhere. But right now, they had to clean up and then snuggle their hearts out. He grabbed a towel and wet it slightly before going back to the bed and crawling over Dean.

“Still a little sensitive,” Dean muttered when Castiel wiped him clean, careful not to apply too much pressure. “But you were perfect, baby. I’ve never made love like that before. You’re perfect.”

Castiel smiled, wiping off Dean’s come from both of their stomachs. “You were worth the wait. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Dean whispered, eyes shining with affection as he stretched his arms out for Cas. 

“Now get over here.” 

And Castiel was so on board with that it wasn’t even funny. He threw the towel somewhere onto the floor, too tired to care where, and collapsed back onto Dean with a smile. Somehow, he managed to get the blanket over them, entwining his limbs with Dean’s and holding tight. He made a mental note to remember this moment. Sharing his first post-orgasmic bliss while cuddling under the blankets in the winter was certain to be Castiel’s favorite memory ever.

Suddenly, Castiel groaned, rolling over to lie beside Dean as he buried his head into Dean’s chest.

“What?” Dean turned his head, a flash of worry coursing through his eyes. He wrapped his other arm around Castiel, concern heavy on his face. “Cas, what’s wrong? Are you okay?

“Gabe is never going to stop talking about this.”

The sound of Dean’s laugh – so full of love and without a care in the world – would be memorized and replayed for the rest of his life. But for now, he let himself drift off to sleep in the arms of the man he loved.


	10. Chapter Ten

“You two are so domestic it hurts.”

“Shut your face, Lafitte.”

“Castiel, control your boyfriend,” Benny teased, throwing a chunky blue scarf at Dean. Dean merely scowled, nuzzling his head into the crook of Castiel’s shoulder.

“Cas, you don’t need to control me,” Dean drawled with feign innocence. “You _l_ _ ooove _ me.”

Castiel blushed. “Yes Dean, I love you.” 

Jo rolled her eyes, but Dean couldn’t stop the wide beam that crept over his face at his words. They’d said it to each other so many times since they’d made love two nights ago, but Dean still couldn’t help the way his heart soared at hearing it.

Now, they were cuddled up on Castiel’s bed, eating popcorn and watching Night at the Fucking Museum - Castiel’s exact wording when Benny had asked for the fourth time what to watch. With no classes for another few weeks, they were all enjoying their well-deserved rest. Dean was practically inseparable from Castiel, barely willing to let him out of his sight, not when things were feeling so perfect.

“See, there it is again, your little domesticity,” Jo said gleefully.

“Something wrong with being domestic, Jo?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow with a grin. “You’re just jealous I get Cas.”

“Down, boy,” Jo smirked, tossing popcorn into her mouth. “Nothing wrong with it. ‘S just a new look on you, is all. Incoming!” She suddenly yelled, throwing a handful of popcorn towards the two. Cas let out a muffled squeal of surprise as little kernels rained down on him, and Dean immediately tackled Cas onto the bed with a wide grin, mouth searching for any incriminating popcorn.

“Dean! Get off!” Cas laughed, batting at Dean’s head as he licked the popcorn off his skin.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll protect you,” Dean said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Gross,” Balthazar muttered, nose wrinkling.

“Definitely gross,” Jo agreed, but couldn’t wipe the beam from her face. “You guys are disgusting, you know that?”

“Mm. Guess there’s just something about Cas.”

Dean looked down at Castiel, who was still caught beneath his arms. His smile was bright and open, hair rumpled, eyes clear and shining from behind tilted glasses, and Dean couldn’t help but marvel at Cas, falling in love with him all over again. Sometimes, it scared him to think about just how in love he was with his blue eyed beauty, but right now, it was difficult to remember why. Especially with Castiel looking at him that way, affection palpable in his eyes.

Dean forgot about everyone else in the room, vision narrowing down on Castiel, and Castiel alone. They’d been having staring contests ever since they’d met, but nowadays it no longer felt like a competition. He took his time, savouring the way Cas’s eyes softened, the way they made him feel like he was falling and flying at the same time. He leaned in with a gentle smile, watching Cas’s eyelids flutter closed as he pressed a light kiss to his lips. Dean let out a small hum of pleasure, bringing a hand up to Castiel’s cheek.

“Guys.  _ Guys. _ Jesus, my eyes are burning. Stop with the PDA already and watch the damn movie,” Jo complained. 

Dean flipped her off with his other hand, first hand too busy moving from Castiel’s cheek and into his hair. He kept the kiss chaste, soft and lovely. He dreaded the day that would be the last time he kissed Castiel. Hopefully that day would never come. Dean didn’t want it to.

“I love you,” Castiel whispered, bringing his arm up and bracketing Dean in closer.

“I love you, too,” Dean whispered back. “But maybe we should actually watch the movie before our friends kick us out.”

Castiel made a face. “One more kiss,” He demanded before pulling a smiling Dean in by the sweater. Suddenly, the door to their room banged open.

“HellooOOo! Trickster in th- oh Jesus, Cassie. Really? This is how you greet your big bro? I mean, I’m all up for you grabbing some ass, or whatever the fuck you do to Dean’s ass, but  _ here _ ?”

Gabe flung himself onto the opposite bed, grinning around a lollipop. Dean felt more than heard Castiel groan. However, he couldn’t repress the smile that was molding across his lips. Gabriel, true to Cas’s word, had known that Castiel was de-viriginized within minutes of seeing him, and hadn’t stopped dropping not-so-subtle hints ever since. Dean would have been pissed if it was anyone else, but honestly, he would’ve done the same to Sammy.

“God, Gabe,” Benny whined, shoving him to the side. “Do  _ not _ put those images in my head.”

“What? You don’t want the mental image of Dean getting pounded into the mattress by our dear Cassie?” Balthazar teased.

“Or hear them scream each other’s names?  _ Oh, Dean! God, Cas! _ _”_ Jo pitched in, making obscene moaning noises. Dean was completely certain his face was just as red as Castiel’s.

“Fucking hell, you guys need help,” Benny sent heated glares to everyone in the room.

“Don’t glare at me, Benjamin,” Castiel said, shrugging innocently. “Your fault we’re dating.”

He was probably right about that. Dean had been so sure that Castiel hated him before; he would never have been able to work up the courage to tell him he liked him.

“About that,” Dean cleared his throat awkwardly. “Thanks.”

“You can repay us in embarrassing pictures of Cas,” Gabriel replied.

“Don’t you dare,” Castiel glared at his older brother before shifting his head to look at Dean, eyes playful. “Don’t  _ you _ dare, either.”

“I see that look in your eye, Winchester,” Balth said, tossing some more popcorn at the couple. “Keep it PG.”

Dean gawked, picking up the popcorn and throwing it back. “You’re PG... Keep your face PG.”

Jo snorted and they settled back into comfortable silence, making occasional comments on the movie. Dean was paying attention for the first time since the movie had begun, and to be honest, it was pretty fucking weird. But that was okay, because Castiel’s warm arms were wrapped around his waist, chin tucked over his shoulder, all but hugging Dean from behind. A while in, and Dean even found himself getting engrossed in the film. That was until he felt Cas’s hands idly tracing patterns into his chest, hands splaying and insistent as they slowly drew downwards.

“Cas,” Dean whispered, putting his hands over Castiel’s.

“Sorry,” Castiel whispered into his ear. Fuck.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jo laughed. “You guys barely made it twenty minutes before Cas had to go straight for the crotch.”

Castiel went beet red and buried his face in Dean’s shoulder.

“Shut up, Jo,” Dean quipped, taking Castiel’s hands and lacing them over his own with a grin.

“Make me.” She raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry hon,” Dean shrugged nonchalantly, snuggling deeper into Castiel. “I’m taken.”

Castiel squeezed Dean’s hands, head still buried, before letting out a muffled “Yeah, you are.”

 

~*~

 

Dean had never really noticed how lonely he felt without Castiel. Like there was something more to him that was just missing, a part of him that gaming for hours with Benny couldn’t quite fill. They’d decided today would be a good day as any to get some ‘alone time’, but apparently Dean  _ really _ didn’t want that. He’d lasted all of five hours before he gave up and hopped into the elevator.

How was he ever going to survive winter break?

He was poised outside Castiel’s dorm room, right hand raised to knock, when he heard a muffled noise - someone desperately trying not to scream. It wasn’t a scream as if the person was in pain or was scared, but as if the person was frustrated. Was that Cas? He briefly considered leaving and pretending he hadn’t been there; if Cas wanted him to know something was going on, surely he’d tell Dean?

He heard a crash, followed by a bang and another jaw-clenched scream, and Dean was turning the door knob and barging in before he could give it a second thought.

Castiel was standing in the middle of the room, chest heaving, eyes wild and unfocused. Glass was shattered all over the floor, and there was a dent in the wall across from Cas. Dean’s eyes widened as he spotted a glass wing in the mess. Castiel’s glass angel? His gaze traveled from the glass to Castiel’s now cracked phone, a concerned voice still echoing from the other line.

“Cas?” Dean kept his voice low and soft. His heart quickened, panicked thoughts racing through his mind. He had no freaking clue what was going on. Castiel rarely got angry. And never did he get so upset that he’d start destroying the few things he had from his parents.

Castiel’s eyes settled on Dean, seemingly for the first time, and he blinked. Then he blinked again. 

“Dean?” His voice was heavy, throat raw. Dean instinctively took a step forwards, and Castiel tensed at the movement. Swallowing hard, he slowly eased backwards and rocked on his heels, hands in the air.

“What are you doing here, Dean?” Cas asked dully.

“I,” Dean paused, lump of worry settling in his throat. “I was just coming up to see you. Are you… You okay, Cas?”

At the question, Castiel’s eyes filled with tears and he crumpled onto the floor, knees giving out and landing in the shards of glass.

“Cas!” Dean was on him in seconds, lifting by the elbows and slowly pulling him off the floor. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Cas,” Dean murmured soothingly. “Let’s get you off the floor.”

His boyfriend was hiccuping with tears, shaking hard, hands grabbing at Dean.  _ What the hell happened? _ Cas was gripping Dean’s arms tightly, holding on desperately as Dean patted Cas down, checking for glass. As much as Dean wanted to give in to Cas and hug him as tight as he could, he had to do at least that much.

“Shh, it’s gonna be okay, baby,” Dean cooed, trying to soothe Castiel as much as possible while brushing off his clothes. He only found a few shards of glass sticking to the material, thankful that none had cut through. He moved back up and enveloped Cas in a tight embrace. “You wanna lie down in bed?”

Cas nodded, tears still slipping steadily down his face. Dean felt anger bubbling up in him, rage at whoever did this to Cas, but he bit it back down. There would be time to be angry later.

They made their way to the bed, Dean lying down on his back and pulling Castiel on top of him. He was glad Benny wasn’t there, but honestly, he would’ve appreciated the backup. He didn’t know what to do. His hands fluttered helplessly around Cas before he settled on running them through Castiel’s hair, whispering soft words to him and gently kissing his neck.

Castiel’s hands clung to him, fingers wrinkling fabric where they were fisted around Dean’s shirt. His breath was slowly evening out, but his grip on Dean didn’t lessen. After a few minutes, once Castiel had receded into silent tears, Dean picked up one of Castiel’s hands and laced his own through it.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked quietly. Castiel nodded but didn’t say anything. Dean waited, fingers massaging Cas’s scalp gently.

“I…” Castiel began, choking. “I got a call. From my mother’s assistant.” 

Dean didn’t know much about Castiel’s parents, but he did know that they were crazy rich and never around. According to Cas, the only times he ever got to see them were Christmas, and if he was lucky, then on birthdays too. 

“She’s not coming.”

Cas sniffled a few times, fingers twitching around the fabric of Dean’s shirt. Dean’s heart clenched as he watched Cas shrink back into a little kid, unsure and alone. But he wasn’t alone. And this wasn’t a scrape on the playground.

“Cas… I’m so sorry.”

“She’s  _ busy _ _._ With work. And my father… He’s j-joining her at the office, so he can draw up a new contract for his firm.” Castiel sounded so utterly crushed that it broke Dean’s heart.

“Oh,  Cas .” Dean held him tighter, pressing small kisses to the top of his head. “Baby, I’m sorry.”

“It’s just…” Castiel struggled to find words. “It’s not fair,” he whispered brokenly. 

“I know, Cas,” Dean tried to soothe him. “I know.”

“I never get to see them,” Cas said, sitting up, floodgates opening as he rushed to pour his heart out. “We went our entire childhood without them. Just me and Gabe, and whichever nanny was most expensive to hire. They  _ left _ us! Do you want to know why I waited all year for Christmas as a child, Dean? Because that was the only goddamn day that it was guaranteed I would see them!

“I spent years trying to tell myself that it - it didn’t matter, that I could get over it, that they were  _ busy _ _,_ but then they go and choose work over us, on the  _ one day that it matters? _ _”_ Castiel laughed emptily. “I should have expected it.”

“Cas,” Dean rubbed a hand down his back.“You’re right to be upset. Hell, I would be pissed if I were you.”

“Good. The more people pissed at them, the better.”

Dean let out a huffed laugh. 

“Cas.” Dean entwined their fingers again, slowly lowering his boyfriend back on top of him. “Don’t get upset. It’s almost Christmas. You shouldn’t let this get to you.”

“I shouldn’t let this get to me?” Castiel asked in disbelief.

“Shit, no, that’s not what I meant, sorry,” Dean cursed. “I just mean… You’re special, Castiel. You’re - you’re worth so much more than an annual Christmas visit and then nothing else for an entire year. I’m sorry that your parents don’t see that you’re so much more important than work. I’m sorry this has to happen to you, because you don’t deserve it.”

Dean glanced up at Castiel, whose eyes had fallen down to stare at their interlocked hands. Castiel’s eyes were still glossy, tears on the verge of spilling again. Dean looked back down at their hands. 

“But Cas... There are so many people who  do know how important you are, who care about you so much more. There are so many people who love you.”

He heard a small sob from Cas. He looked up again, just in time for his lips to be slammed into by Castiel’s. He kissed him with everything he had, desperately trying to convey what he couldn’t put into words.

Castiel pulled back after a moment, peppering kisses onto the rest of Dean’s face. He sighed at the feeling of it, nuzzling his head up to meet Castiel’s. 

“I love you,” Dean whispered.

“I love you too, Dean. I love you.” Cas let out a shaky sigh. “Thank you.”

They settled into silence, Dean continuously running his fingers through Cas’s mop of black hair. Castiel’s breathing eventually evened out, fingers gently loosening around Dean’s hands as exhaustion took over him. It was getting dark out, a cold breeze wafting into the room. Castiel shivered, burrowing deeper into Dean.

Dean found himself deep in thought as Castiel fell asleep, an idea stirring in his mind. The few times that his boyfriend and Sammy had spoken, they’d gotten along incredibly. Probably because they were both big nerds. And Mom would love Cas, wouldn’t she? They’d probably bond over a love of animals or something, maybe even Castiel’s crazy sweaters. Dad would like him too. And even if the old man didn’t like Cas all that much, Mom would surely shut him up. At least long enough for the winter break.

So really, why not invite Cas over for Christmas?

Maybe Castiel wouldn’t want to meet them yet…maybe he’d rather just stay here and go to Gabe’s apartment for break. Dean wouldn’t be all that shocked. Still, it would be worth it to ask him.

“Hey Cas?” Dean whispered, nudging his shoulder slightly. Castiel stirred, groaning a little in the process, before murmuring something that sounded like a “Yes?”

“Would you like to stay at my place for Christmas?”

For a moment Castiel didn’t respond, made no outward motions to make Dean believe he’d even been heard. Dean worried his bottom lip, apprehensive.

“Yes,” Cas breathed, tightening his arms around Dean and kissing his neck. “ _ Yes _ _,_ so much.”

“Really?” Dean asked, trying not to get too excited lest Castiel changed his mind.

“Yes, really,” Castiel looked up at him, eyes shining. He paused, tilting his head. “Have you asked your parents yet?”

Dean grinned abashedly. “Well, no, not technically… But they’ll say yes.”

“Then… If you haven’t asked yet, would it be okay if Gabe came too?”

Dean sighed in relief, leaning up to kiss his boyfriend on the lips. “Of course.”

“Then yes. I would love to go to your home for Christmas.” Castiel beamed, sniffing as he buried his head into Dean’s chest, wrapping his hands around him. 

“I would love to.”

 

~*~

 

Dean was staring at the rack of glass angels in the middle of the mall with a look of unadulterated wrath. None of them were right; they weren’t the same as Cas’s. Dean wanted to get him a new one for Christmas, after he’d seen the pure devastation in Castiel’s eyes upon waking up and seeing the shards all over his floor. But the glass angels here were either too tall, or too short, or too tacky, or just not even close.

“Dean! Hurry up, you’ve been staring at the same row of crap for the past ten minutes!” Jo nudged him, getting antsy to move on to the next shop. Dean growled despite himself.

“I can’t just go!” He snapped. “I need to get him the perfect gift.”

“Well,” Jo said authoritatively, placing her hands on her hips. “It’s obviously not one of those cheap angels. So move it, we’ll find something better.”

Dean tried to mumble an argument, but trudged alongside his friend and away from the glass angels.

“I have no idea what else to get him,” Dean complained after they’d walked out of their sixth consecutive store.

“Well,” Jo hummed, twisting a lock of her hair in thought. “What if you made him one?”

“Excuse me?” Dean barked out a laugh. “You want  _ me _ to make Cas a glass angel?”

“Not a  _ glass _ angel per se,” Jo grinned, grabbing Dean’s hand and pulling him toward the staircase that led down to the first floor. It was as Dean was taking his first step downwards that a mop of black hair stood out and caused him to hold his breath.

“Jo!” He hissed, slapping at her hand. “Cas!”

“Huh?” She squinted at him and then looked down. He knew the exact moment she spotted Castiel.

“ Shit .” Cas wasn’t looking up, but all he needed to do was move his head by fifteen degrees and they’d be done for. He’d told his boyfriend that Jo had called him in an emergency crying over her deceased guinea pig (one that had never even existed) and he’d had to go over to her dorm alone. 

What was Cas doing here? Then again, it wasn’t like he had to wait alone when Dean wasn’t with him. That was unreasonable.

_ But _ _,_ Dean most definitely wasn’t supposed to be there. Of course, if he was caught, he’d be able to explain himself and Cas would surely understand, but still. He didn’t like lying to his boyfriend, he’d dislike even more getting caught lying. Even if it was for a good cause.

Balthazar, whom Dean hadn’t even realized had been standing with Castiel, looked up and met eyes with him. Never mind,  _ now _ Dean couldn’t breathe. He expected Balth to nudge Cas and point him out – he’d been there when Dean got the fake call – but he didn’t. Instead, he merely winked vivaciously and led Castiel in the other direction.

Dean and Jo snuck down the stairs, one of them keeping an eye on Cas the entire time. Three times Castiel almost spotted them before Balthazar pulled his attention away and pointed out something else. If Dean were being honest, Castiel looked lost. Something warm and adoring settled in him, but he couldn’t dwell on it at the moment. He had to channel his inner Clint Eastwood and get the fuck out of this mall without being seen.

Finally, blessedly finally, Dean and Jo burst through the doors into the chilly night air. It was cold, but Dean’s heart was warm with the joy of adrenaline pumping through his veins. 

 

~*~

 

“I have no idea what to get Dean.”

“You’ve only been dating him for what, three months?”

“Yes.”

“Well, what does he like?”

“Me?”

Balth laughed, resting a hand on Castiel’s shoulder as he wiped his eyes with the other. “While I certainly don’t doubt that, Cassie, I mean what  _ else _ does Dean like?”

“I don’t know,” Castiel shrugged, looking aimlessly around the mall. “Lots of stuff.”

“You really know your boyfriend quite well, don’t you Cassie?” Balthazar meant it to only be a tease, but it still irked Cas.

“Dean likes pie, cars, flannel, classic rock, burgers, teaching, poker, -“ Castiel was cut off on his mini rant by Balthazar putting a hand up in defense.

“Okay, okay, I get it. I apologize for ever doubting you, Cassie.” There was a smirk in his expression, but Castiel elected to ignore it. Jo’s mother was going to be picking them up in two days to drive them to Dean’s home. That meant Castiel had to pick out Dean’s gift  _ now . _

“Balthazar, this is important,” How many times did he have to tell Balth? “I need to find the perfect gift.”

Balth rolled his eyes but nodded anyway. “Fine, Cassie, fine.”

“What should I get Dean?” Cas repeated, the fourth time since they’d left campus.

“Hmmm.” Balthazar drummed his fingers where they were still on Castiel’s shoulder. He would have felt awkward, had they not been sitting in the food court and out of the way. 

“Something that will remind him of you. Maybe something that he could use everyday. He seems like a practical one, doesn’t he? Not much for trinkets.”

“No, not really,” Cas mused, deep in thought.

“Make something for him. He’d love that, the old sap.”

Cas huffed, worrying away at his lip. “Like what?” He wasn’t opposed to the idea, just apprehensive about it. He couldn’t make crap.

“I don’t know,” Balthazar snapped, getting frustrated. Castiel frowned, a pout gracing his lips. Balth rolled his eyes. “That shit might work on your boy toy, but you’re going to have to try harder with me. You said he liked classic rock?”

“Yes. Dean refuses to listen to my music.”

“Typical. And he’s into cars?”

“His ‘67 Impala specifically.” Cas bit back a grin. “He keeps complaining about how freshmen can’t keep cars here.” Finally getting to ride the Impala was just one of the many reasons that had Cas excited and nerve-wracked over Christmas.

“Make him a CD or something.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Cas asked, not sure if he’d heard correctly.

“I said, make Dean a CD. Like a playlist.”

“What does that have to do with cars?

Balthazar stared at Cas. “You put the CD into the car. And then you play it.”

“Oh. Right.”

“Yes, Cassie.”

Cas sighed. “I don’t know how to make a CD.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“No, I’m-”

“Pull that on me one more time and I won’t help you.”

“You’ll help me?” Castiel looked to his friend with hope. Dean had described this expression to him as being the “puppy-dog” look ripped right off of Sam. “You’d do that?”

Balthazar looked at him in horror, placing his hand over his heart in mock offence. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?”

“Not one who was related to Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Castiel could have sworn he saw the steam coming out of his best friend’s ears.

 

~*~

 

Dean was bouncing in excitement. Castiel was looking at him weirdly.

If he were being honest, he was practically unable to sit still. It had been months, and now he was finally going to see his family again, and for more than just a weekend. He needed that hug from the little squat. And even better, Cas was coming home with him.  _ Cas .  _

Cas, who was looking kinda pale right now.

Cas hadn’t said as much, but Dean knew that he was nervous about meeting Dean’s family. It was a big thing for Cas - hell, it was a big thing for them both - but he didn’t want to point it out for Cas. Instead, he wrapped an arm around Cas’s shoulder and squeezed tightly, feeling Cas slowly unwind a notch under him. They were waiting in Gabe’s apartment with Gabe, Jo and Benny, anticipation high in all of them.

“Dean. Take a nap before mom gets here,” Jo suggested, resting a hand on his leg where it was bouncing up and down. Dean merely glared at her, crossing his arms childishly and turning his back on her in favor of the window.

“I can’t, she’s gonna be here soon.” Aunt Ellen had called just a few minutes ago, saying she would only be another ten minutes tops. Dean was ready.

“Then take a nap in the car.”

“Can’t.”

“Dean,” Cas hooked his arms around Dean from behind and rested his chin on his shoulder. Dean always loved it when Castiel did that to him. He stopped his bouncing immediately and rested back into his boyfriend’s chest, closing his eyes contentedly.

“I’m not taking a nap. Just closing my eyes,” Dean muttered. Cas’ lips twitched.

“The car ride is going to be short. As soon as your aunt gets here, you’ll be home before you know it.” He lowered his voice, turning his head to whisper in Dean’s ear. “Then we can take a nap up in your bedroom. I’ve been  _ dying _ to see it.”

Dean’s eyes flew wide open. In unison, Jo rolled her eyes, Benny shut his in defeat, while Gabe pretended to gag at him from across the room. Dean would’ve been embarrassed at how easy he was to read, but the implications of Cas’s words had him on his best behavior until Ellen showed up. Needless to say, once the truck was outside the building, so was Dean.

“Aunt Ellen!” Dean ran up and wrapped her in a tight embrace. She laughed, hugging him back.

“Well it’s good to see you, too, Dean,” She pulled away slightly to pat him on the shoulder. “But where’s my daughter?”

“Mom!” Jo ran out of the apartment building, dropping her bag at the door and slamming into Ellen. Ellen made a grunt of protest, but looked way too happy to be upset.

Dean picked up Jo’s bag with a grin and tossed it into the back of the truck before heading back inside to grab his things and give them some alone time.

“Is it safe to assume that Ellen’s here?” Benny asked. Dean nodded, grabbing his backpack and Castiel’s, before heading back out and hopping into the driver’s seat without a second thought.

“What in the hell do you think you’re doing, boy?” Ellen opened the driver’s door and nudged him in the shoulder. “I know you’ve missed that old car of yours, but that don’t give you special privilege to drive my truck. You can drive the Impala all you want once we’re home.”

“Trust me, Ellen,” Dean grinned, tapping his fingers on the wheel a few times before he slid out. “I will be.” 

Dean hadn’t driven since coming to KU. He couldn’t wait to get Cas riding his Baby, the two of them on the road. They were so close to getting home, Dean could feel it. That is, if Cas would get into the truck.

Said man was standing outside the door, waiting with his brother as Gabe made sure the front door was locked. Cas’s nervousness was palpable now, not as easily disguised. And before Dean could even walk over to Cas, let alone properly introduce him, Ellen was letting out a low whistle.

“That your boyfriend, Winchester?” She looked Castiel up and down, making Cas blush, but he straightened to look her firmly in the eyes.

“Yes, ma’am. Castiel Novak.”

Gabe looked around, having finished checking the door and leveled an amused look at the elder Harvelle.

“You must be Mrs. Harvelle,” Gabe smiled, stepping away from a flustered Castiel and shaking her hand. 

“I’m Gabriel Novak, but you can call me Gabe if you want. You can even call me The Trickster, but I don’t get the feeling that’s quite your thing.”

Ellen laughed, shaking his hand once before letting go. “Call me Ellen. No need for Mrs. Harvelle, Gabe.”

“Great.” Gabe grinned, leaning in to whisper something into her ear. Dean couldn’t hear what he was saying, but could’ve sworn he heard a muffled “Cassie.” Ellen laughed again, shaking her head.

Castiel was still standing by the door, eyes transfixed on where Gabriel was standing. Dean walked over, wrapping a warm arm around his boyfriend and peppering a kiss to the tip of his cold nose.

“C’mon, let’s get into the truck where it’s warm.”

Castiel didn’t budge though, still staring at the same spot as a small fear twisted in his gut. Dean looked at Cas in concern.

“Cas, what’s wrong?”

“That went terribly,” Cas whispered.

“Hey, hey. Don’t worry about it, we’re a team now. Ellen’ll warm up to you,” Dean whispered, grabbing Castiel’s mittened hand. “Hell, she likes the quiet, polite ones that turn out to be sarcastic little shits,” he added with a wink.

Cas gave Dean a light shove, smiling more widely now. “Shut up. I think I should be more worried about Gabe, anyhow. I mean, he’s looking pretty suspicious to me.”

“We can overpower The Trickster if necessary. Or maybe,” Dean took on a conspiratorial voice and whispered, “We can play a trick of our own on him.”

“Yes,” Castiel whispered back, turning his eyes away from Gabriel and looking at Dean. “We most definitely should.”

“Hey!” Benny shouted from inside the truck. “Some of us actually want to get home before Christmas.”

Castiel grinned, stepping down the stairs and walking hand in hand with Dean to the truck where they tucked themselves into the back row. Gabriel was sitting next to Benny in the middle row, already sucking on a candy cane, and Jo was up front with Ellen.

Once everyone was buckled, Ellen pulled out and they were on the road back home. Dean’s stomach was doing somersaults. Castiel’s hand in his was the only thing keeping him from tempting Ellen to speed.

“So, Castiel… it’s Castiel, right?” Ellen asked, glancing into the rearview mirror.

“Yes,” he answered, raising his voice from the backseat. “But you can call me Cas if you would like.”

“Okay,” Ellen nodded, not looking away from the road. “You been treating Dean right?”

“Ellen!” Dean squawked, but Castiel laughed.

“I should hope so. I’ve definitely put in the effort.”

“Good,” Ellen smiled. “He been treating you right?”

Dean groaned, not ready for this interrogation. Especially not with Benny, Gabe and Jo all sandwiched right between them. As soon as Ellen was sure she liked Cas, she’d use him to get Dean to do whatever she wanted. Including, but not limited to, doing the dishes after their Christmas dinner.

“Of course,” Castiel blushed minutely but covered it up. “Dean has always treated me well, even when he thought I hated him.”

“He thought his boyfriend hated him?”

“No,” Jo chimed in, eyes alight with gossip. “They both thought the other hated them, but the idiots were actually pining over each other. You should’ve  _ seen _ them, it was terrible. Until Gabe locked them both in a lecture hall and forced them to admit their feelings.”

“Jesus,” Ellen cursed. “That why they call you The Trickster?” Ellen asked, raising an eyebrow at Gabe through the mirror, who shrugged and continued to lick his candy cane with a smug grin.

“Ma’am, you have no idea the pain we suffered while they were pining,” Benny groaned.

“I did them a favor.” Gabe couldn’t keep the triumph out of his voice. Dean rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. Even Castiel looked happy.

“Well,” Ellen’s voice was softer now, no longer with the tinge of interrogation. “I’m happy you two got your act together.”

“Yeah,” Dean breathed. “Me too.” He looked at Castiel and their eyes met. After all this time, his heart still skipped a beat every time he was immersed in that deep blue. Castiel was so beautiful. It was hard to look away. So he didn’t.

Someone coughed pointedly. 

“Heart eyes, motherfucker,” Gabe snickered, causing Dean to finally tear his eyes away from Cas.

“Watch your language, mister,” Ellen warned. “Or next time I’ll be washing your mouth out with soap.” 

“Oh, I don’t doubt it. How about some Christmas music?” Gabe said cheerfully, reaching forward and changing the station.

The rest of the ride home was spent belting out lyrics to cheesy Christmas songs, with Ellen occasionally singing along but mostly just laughing at them. And if Dean did say so himself, he was the best singer there.

Before he knew it, they were dropping Benny off, and Dean was getting more and more excited. But the more pumped Dean got, the more nervous Castiel seemed.

“Hey, you alright Cas?” Dean asked, brushing a finger lightly over Cas’s hands. Cas was gripping his hand tightly in his lap, fidgeting.

“I… nervous,” Cas admitted, squeezing their hands. 

“Don’t be nervous,” Jo called from the front.

“Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” She rolled her eyes, taking her feet down from where they were resting on the dashboard. “You’ll be fine. Our families are friendly, I swear. Plus, you have Gabe. You’re not the only newbie.”

Castiel looked sideways at Gabriel, whom Dean could see looked  way  too devious.

“Somehow,” Dean said, squinting at Gabe, “I don’t think he’s gonna be much help.”  The only answer was a cheeky grin and a wiggle of Gabriel’s eyebrows.

Dean huffed out a laugh, plucking off Castiel’s mittens to properly wrap his hands around Castiel’s as Cas leaned over to settle his head on Dean’s shoulder. He could feel Cas letting out a deep breath and taking comfort in him, if only slightly, and Dean smiled, using his other hand to softly comb through Cas’s ruffled hair.

All too soon, and at the same time not quickly enough, they were turning the corner, and Dean’s home was slowly growing bigger as they rolled closer. Dean sat up straighter, causing Cas to lift his head up and peer out the window.

Dean couldn’t contain his smile.

“Bye Aunt Ellen, bye Jo! Thanks for the ride! See you tomorrow,” Dean yelled before jumping out of the car and grabbing his and Castiel’s stuff. Gabe could get his own. Castiel got out of the truck slower than Dean had, but he still smiled when Dean slung an arm around his shoulder.

“Jesus. Am I gonna have to deal with your lovey-dovey crap all week?” Gabe asked sarcastically, grabbing his own bag and saluting Ellen.

“He’s just jealous,” Castiel said, placing a gentle kiss to Dean’s lips. Dean kissed him back in kind, grinning as he heard Gabe make little puking noises.

They were halfway up the driveway when the front door was thrown open and Sam came barreling out. 

“Dean!” He was knocked backwards and wrapped in a bone crushing hug before he could even call Sam’s name back.

“Sammy,” Dean wrapped his arms around his little brother, holding him just as tightly and grinning hard. God, it’d been way too long since he’d hugged his little brother. “I might’ve missed you a bit.”

“Yeah? Well I missed you a ton,” Sam mumbled into his chest, grip tightening. Dean wasn’t sure how long he stood there holding Sammy, but when he finally pulled back with a pat to Sam’s shoulder, Gabe let out a low whistle.

“Well, Dean-o, you did  _ not _ tell me you had a giant of a little brother.”

Dean looked up past Gabe to see Cas looking at them, a look of awe in his expression. It warmed Dean’s heart. 

“Sammy,” Dean thumped his brother on the back, and inclined his head towards his boyfriend. “This is Castiel. The short midget-y one is his older brother Gabe.”

“You’re Cas?” Sam asked, eyes lighting up in excitement.

“Yes. It’s an honor to meet you, Sam. I’ve been –” Cas didn’t get the opportunity to say anything more because Sam had let go of Dean and had attached himself to Castiel.

“Thank you for not hating my brother,” Sam said.

“You know,” Gabriel piped in. “It’s really because of me that they got together.”

“You’re The Trickster?” Sam asked, a suspicious glint in his eye that Dean  _ knew _ was no good.

“The one and only.”

A mischievous smirk spread across Sam’s face and he let go of Castiel. “I’ve heard the legends. None of them quite mentioned how short you are, though.”

“Excuse you for being a giant, Sasquatch,” Gabe said, feigning injury. He then turned to Cas with a grin and announced, “I like this one.”

Dean looked to Cas, eyes wide and terrified. Castiel smiled though, reaching out his hand for Dean to hold, and Dean sighed in defeat. He led his boyfriend up the rest of the driveway, Gabriel and Sam whispering behind them. Apparently those two were already committed to raising hell this Christmas, whether anyone else liked it or not.

At the doorstep, Dean pressed a soft kiss to Castiel’s forehead.

“It’ll be okay,” he whispered. Castiel held eye contact for a few seconds, eyes wavering. Finally, he nodded, squeezing Dean’s hand.

They stepped into the house, and oh god Dean had missed this place.

“Dean!” Mary wrapped her arms around Dean and pulled him in close. Dean didn’t let go of Castiel’s hand. But being wrapped in his mother’s embrace…he felt at peace in a way he hadn’t for a while.

“ _ Mom _ ,” He whispered, hugging her back with one arm. She placed a kiss onto his cheek and pulled away, smiling so brightly that Dean thought he’d go blind.

“I’ve missed you so much, Dean.” She placed another kiss onto his cheek, squeezing his arm. It was then that she realized Dean was still holding Castiel’s hand. With a smile, she let go of Dean, the two of them parting reluctantly. “And who are your friends? You hadn’t told me you were bringing anyone home.”

Dean felt more than saw Castiel’s eyes go huge and then glare at him. He’d told Cas that his mom had given the okay for Castiel and Gabe to stay over for Christmas, and he’d meant to call, he really had. But in reality, he’d forgotten to ask and by then it was already too late. So hey, Christmas surprise.

“Umm,” Dean began, looking over to Castiel quickly, who yeah, was definitely glaring at him.

“I’m Castiel. Castiel Novak,” Cas answered, disentangling his hand from Dean’s and offering it to Mary, who shook it eagerly. “This is my older brother Gabriel. We were under the impression that Dean had already asked you about us coming over for Christmas. I apologize for the inconvenience, Mrs. Winchester. I… We can leave immediately.”

“No!” Mary smiled, shaking her head. “Stay with us for Christmas, Castiel, and Gabriel. It’s no problem at all. We’re more than happy to have Dean’s friends over.”

“If you’re sure,” Gabe said, but he was already being led into the family room by Sam.

“Absolutely,” Mary said, then looked at Dean. “Dean,” she berated. “You should have told me earlier. I would have set up stockings for them.”

“Forgot,” Dean mumbled, looking at Castiel apologetically. Cas lips twitched into a smile, tension slowing leaking out of him.

Mary looked from Dean to Cas and back again. “Why don’t you two leave your things in the hall for now and come get some hot chocolate? We can sort out beds later.”

“That sounds amazing. Thank you,” Castiel said with a grateful smile. 

As soon as Mary was in the kitchen and they were shedding their coats, Castiel smacked Dean playfully in the stomach. “What the hell, Dean?”

“What?” Dean knew perfectly well what Cas was talking about, but he grinned and asked anyways.

“Why did you lie?”

“I didn’t lie! I really did forget,” Dean pleaded, taking Castiel’s hand back with a sincere smile. “And I knew she wouldn’t mind anyways.”

“You still could have told me,” Cas grumbled.

“I’m sorry, babe,” Dean said, raising Cas’s hands to his mouth and pressing a kiss into it. “I promise this won’t happen again next time I invite you over. Pinky promise.”

Cas had to hide a smile at that, as he felt a thrill run through him.  _ Next time . _

They walked into the kitchen, still hand in hand, and Mary raised an eyebrow.

“Ah, Mom...” Dean mumbled, stumbling around the topic. Castiel squeezed Dean’s hand, and Dean took a deep breath. “Mom, Cas is my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for a little over three months now.”

Mary smiled instantly, going around the kitchen counter and wrapping Cas into a hug. “I’m glad to hear it,” she said. “You two look very happy together.”

“We are,” Castiel agreed. And just as Dean predicted, Cas and Mary hit it off immediately. Dean looked on in awe as they talked, sometimes adding in to the conversation, but mostly just watching. He loved seeing Castiel in his home, loved how perfectly Cas fit into their home. Even if it did make him seem like a sap.

“Hey Mom,” Dean asked once there was a lull in the conversation. “Where’s Dad?”

“Oh, he’s working until five, but he’s bringing dinner home.”

“So what you’re really saying,” Dean said, a beam spreading across his face, “Is that I have hours to spend driving around in my Baby?”

“God, Dean,” Mary laughed. “Yes, of course, if that’s what you want.”

“Awesome-thank-you-very-much-Mom-love-you! Let’s go, Cas!”

“Drive safe!”

“As if I’d injure my Baby,” Dean scoffed, placing a kiss onto Mary’s cheek before grabbing Cas and hauling him towards the door. “Be back soon!”

Dean was slightly suspicious that Sam had all but abandoned him ever since he got home, and Gabriel was nowhere to be found. The two were no doubt conspiring their evil plans together. But, well, Dean was glad Sam had someone to keep him company while Dean got his time with Cas.

“Get ready to see the most beautiful thing on this earth,” Dean said, grabbing his keys off the hook and throwing on his coat. “Well, possibly second to you,” Dean winked.

Castiel blushed furiously but nodded along. Dean led him to the garage, grinning madly at the sight of the Impala.

“I’ve missed you, Baby,” Dean whispered, with maybe just a tad too much emotion, making Castiel laugh.

“Dean. She’s beautiful, but really? You’re ridiculous.”

“Hey! Don’t insult the Impala, she’s a classic! Just wait ‘till we ride her,” Dean protested, tugging Cas over to the passenger door and opening it with a flourish, ushering Cas in.

“I hope you’re ready for the ride of your life,” Dean said as he turned on the car revelling in the purr of his Baby.

“The ride of my life will be when I ride you, but I’m sure this will be pleasurable too.” Dean’s eyes bugged slightly as he choked on air, blushing while Cas threw his head back and laughed.

“Jesus, Cas, fuck you!”

“Maybe later. Just drive, Dean, I know you want to,” Cas said, grin still in his eyes.

Dean grumbled, backing out of the garage. As soon as they were halfway down the driveway, it was like he’d never stopped driving at all. He rolled down the windows, whooping at the breeze and laughing at the face Cas made as wind whipped into his face. Having Cas there with him...

Dean inclined his head to the side to get a peek at Cas. Castiel was smiling gently, looking out of the window contentedly with his hands in his lap as he watched the houses fly by. Seeing Cas like this, Dean felt his heart give a little  _ thump thump _ _,_ and he wanted to do nothing more than to lean over and kiss his boyfriend. Dean’s resolve crumbled as he ignored every sane thought and quickly pecked Cas on the cheek. Cas looked surprised before lightly pushing Dean away with a laugh.

“Eyes on the road, loverboy.”

“Mm. Live a little, Cas,” Dean said, resting an arm over the back of Cas’ seat.

They breezed past Dean’s childhood, Dean occasionally pointing out different teenage haunts and recounting memories. Cas contentedly listened to Dean talk animatedly about the galactic wars he’d had as a kid, the pirates he’d battled in the schoolyard, the alien he punched - who just so happened to be the douche bullying Sam. (Dean had been suspended afterwards, but he had no regrets.)

Soon, they began to pull away from downtown as they entered the outskirts of the city. Dean was pointing out where he’d kissed a girl for the first time when he heard the distinct click of a seat belt being unbuckled.

Dean immediately glanced over at Castiel, who was scooting closer. “Cas?”

“Keep talking, Dean.”

So he did. Castiel hummed at all the right times and he’d occasionally comment, but other than that he was silent. It was when they were passing by the abandoned baseball park Dean used to play little league at that Castiel plastered himself to Dean’s side and his hands began roaming over Dean’s body.

“Cas… ”

“Dean, I suggest park your car in that field.” Castiel said roughly. Dean swallowed and nodded, straining to keep his grip on the wheel. Once they were parked on the side of an abandoned baseball field and the car was turned off, Castiel immediately slid onto his lap and mouthed at his neck.

“Get out of the car, Dean.”

“Why?”

“I want to try something,” Castiel sighed into his skin. “Now please listen to me.”

Dean nodded and pushed Castiel gently off of him before getting out of the driver’s seat and closing the door behind him. He heard Castiel’s door open, and Dean waited for him to walk over. Cas didn’t.

“Lie down on the hood.”

Dean raised an eyebrow but obeyed, first sitting on the hood of his Baby and then lying back. It looked like it was going to snow soon.

“Good.” Dean tried to peer over at Cas, but he was well out of his view. “Take off your jacket.”

“Cas, it’s fucking freezing. I’m not taking off my jacket.”

Dean heard a low growl and  fuck , was that Cas? Either that or there was a wild animal, but Dean prided himself on being optimistic.

“Dean.”

“Cas, I’m not going to get fucking frostbite. I don’t care.”

“Dean,” Suddenly Cas was in his line of vision again, his eyes set. “I promise you I won’t let you get frostbite. If it gets too much, tell me and I’ll stop, and we can get back in the Impala. Is that alright?”

“I – yes.”

“Then take off your fucking coat.”

Still skeptical, Dean sat up and shrugged off his jacket before lying back down. He shivered because yeah, it was fucking cold out and Castiel got to stay warm in his trench coat.

“Good,” Castiel hummed, coming to stand in front of Dean and resting his hands on Dean’s shaking chest. Castiel’s hands were warm, and Dean sighed into them. Cas leaned down and kissed Dean on the lips, Dean bringing his hands up to wrap around Castiel.

Castiel’s tongue traced the seam of Dean’s lips and he opened them for him. They made out for a while, Dean slowly getting warmer, cocooned in Cas. He had no idea how long they’d been kissing but soon enough he was getting too hot, the cold winter air becoming comfortable.

Castiel pulled back a few centimeters, tongue coming out to trace along his own lips. Dean licked his own. 

“Warm yet?”

“ Yes ,” Dean mumbled, arms still wrapped around his boyfriend. Castiel smiled and leaned back in to kiss him once more, Dean diving in to the kiss with all he had. As much as he loved doing other things with Cas, kissing him came pretty damn high on the list.

Dean felt one of Castiel’s hands traveling lower, tracing along the bulge in his jeans. He moaned into his boyfriend’s mouth, a thrill of excitement racing through him when Castiel unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down the zipper.

A whimper tore out of him when Castiel pulled away and stood. “ _ Cas _ _._ ”

“Don’t worry, Dean,” Castiel cooed, staring down at him. “I’ll take care of you.”

“We take care of each other.”

“Mmhmm,” Castiel mumbled, eyes raking over Dean. Dean could only imagine what he looked like – probably flushed with want and pink from the chill in the air, eyes blown wide, lips swollen and wet, and oh yeah, his pants sticking open and his cock hard against his boxers.

“What do you say, Dean. Should I suck you off?”

Dean groaned, rolling his hips up in a circle. He heard a click, but he ignored it in favor of moaning “Casssss.”

“Hmm. Was that a yes, Dean?” Cas asked. Dean heard him drop to knees and felt his breath ghost across his skin. He groaned, rolling his hips more earnestly. 

“Words, Dean. I need words.”

“Yes, Cas,  _ please _ .”

Dean’s pants were yanked down so fast that the sudden chill from the hood of his Baby caused him to hitch his hips forward and right into the side of Cas’s face.

“Dean,” Castiel was obviously trying to sound demanding but Dean could hear the laughter he was failing at hiding. “Please refrain from doing that.”

“Sorry, baby,” Dean laughed, giving himself a second to get accustomed to the cold metal underneath his ass. He had a fleeting sense of worry that someone would drive by, but he’d parked the car deep enough to be mostly hidden.

Castiel settled one hand on Dean’s hip, wrapping his other hand with Dean’s. Dean squeezed, giving Cas the okay to start. He shivered and groaned when a curious tongue flicked onto the head of his cock, twirling around.

Suddenly, Cas was enveloping his cock all at once, hollowing his cheeks and just fucking  _ sucking _ _._ Dean moaned loudly, his free hand flying to Castiel’s hair and finding purchase. Castiel let go of Dean’s hand for a moment and then returned it, this time without the mitten covering it.

That was about the time Dean felt a hand circling around his sack. His hips instinctively bucked upwards, the head of his cock hitting the back of Castiel’s throat. Cas pulled off, coughing, but his hand was still massaging Dean’s balls.

“Sorry, sorry. You okay?” Dean asked, his voice even lower than usual.

Castiel coughed a few more times before answering. “Yes. I’m good. Could you just,” Dean lifted his upper body slightly so he could see Cas. He was looking down, and if the pink tinge to his skin wasn’t from coughing then it was definitely from blushing. “Could you please not do that again?”

“Yeah, Cas,” Dean squeezed his hand, smiling at him reassuringly. “Sorry. I’ll be more careful.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just not ready for that yet…”

“Castiel,” Dean sat up on the hood, pulling Castiel up to straddle his hips. He tried to ignore his flushed cock in between them. “Don’t apologize. You’re new to this, we should be going slow.”

He threaded his hand through Cas’s hair, kissing him chastely. “And besides, you should never apologize for something happening. I want you to feel comfortable with me. If you’re not comfortable with something or you want to stop, just tell me and I swear I’ll understand.”

“I know,” Castiel whispered, resting his head onto Dean’s shoulder. “I know that.”

“Good.” Dean gave him a moment to get himself together and then rolled his hips slowly upwards against Cas. His boyfriend moaned, tipping his head backwards.

Just then Dean felt a drop of something cold and wet hit his forehead. He looked up and sure enough, there were flakes of snow slowly drifting down from the sky. Castiel noticed too, looking up and nose wrinkling when a snowflake landed in his eye.

Dean laughed, pecking a kiss onto Castiel’s nose. He didn’t want a blow job anymore. He wanted so much more with Cas. He wanted them to get off at the same time, in the freezing cold, on Dean’s Baby, while it was snowing, in the middle of an abandoned baseball field.

“Cas,” Dean rolled his hips again. “Fuck me.”

“Okay.” Castiel smiled, heartily accepting the change in dynamic.

“Right here on the hood of my car.”

“I will.”

“I want to feel it tomorrow.”

Cas raised an eyebrow. “Trust me, Dean, you will.”

To put it bluntly, Dean knew he would be feeling that particular fuck until New Years. He couldn’t be happier.

  
  
  


Once Dean and Cas got back home, both of them beaming from the thrill of their ride in the Impala, they were bombarded by Sam and Gabe.

“Let’s go, losers,” Gabe smirked. “We’re making Christmas cookies.”

“Gabe, be nice,” Mary chastised, but she smiled nonetheless.

“Dean, let’s go,” Sam beamed, grabbing Dean’s elbow and pulling him toward the kitchen. “You too, Cas!”

The two had no choice but to be led to the kitchen and be covered in Christmas aprons. Dean laughed at Cas, who was currently sporting a Santa apron that read  _ Give me your cookies, baby . _

“Don’t patronize me, Dean,” Castiel narrowed his eyes in a challenge, lifting an eyebrow at Dean’s own apron. He looked down and sure enough, his was worse. When Dean and Sam had been children, they’d always made Christmas cookies the day before Christmas Eve. It was a tradition. The aprons they wore each year had been a matching set of  _ HO-HO-HO _ _’s_ , one word on each apron, but since then two of them had gone missing. Dean was wearing the very one.

“Only for you, Cas,” Dean winked, causing Sam to groan in disgust. “Only for you.”

“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Mary laughed, grabbing a mug of coffee and heading toward the living room. “Don’t burn down the house.”

“You think that was bad, Sam?” Gabe asked, lifting an eyebrow. “It gets worse.  _ So much _ worse.”

“Hey!” Dean picked up some of the flour that was sitting in the container and flicked it at Gabe. “No brainwashing my little brother.”

“I’m not,” Gabe picked up flour and threw a cloud of it back at Dean. Dean ducked, leaving Cas to get bombarded in flour. His jaw dropped in shock as flour exploded over his black long sleeved shirt and settled into his hair. Dean started laughing, couldn’t help it. Cas’s eyes flicked upwards, meeting Dean’s own, and in that moment Dean knew he was done for.

He didn’t make it two feet before he was being pelted with flour all over his hair. 

“Gah!” He tried to swipe it out of his hair, but all that did was get it all over Sam. And, well, things got pretty heated pretty quickly.

Gabe was ducking under the counter and throwing handfuls of flour at any target he could hit; Sam was running around dodging flour and shooting it at people with a spoon; Cas was attempting to hide from Dean, and ended up screaming when Dean picked up the entire container and tried to dump it onto his boyfriend. It took more effort than he’d anticipated. Dean had to enlist the help of Sam, pinning Cas down while Sam upturned the container all over Castiel.

The four of them were wheezing with laughter, flailing on the ground and unceremoniously tossing flour into the air.

“You little shit,” Castiel hissed, patting Dean on the side to tell him to get off of him. Dean collapsed next to him, still laughing. That was, until Cas rolled over and straight onto Dean, effectively smearing the flour all over him too.

“Cas!” Dean cried, trying to push his boyfriend off. The damage was already done. Sam and Gabe were high fiving as if this had been their plan all along. They’d need to stop at the store to get more flour.

“You suck,” Dean grinned.

“Only for you,” Castiel echoed back Dean’s earlier sentiment. He heard Sam and Gabe gag but ignored it, electing to lean up and kiss his boyfriend instead. Cas kissed him back, he tasting like flour. Dean laughed into the kiss, anchoring Cas down onto him with a flour covered arm.

The kiss was bordering dirty – Gabe and Sam had already stopped paying attention to them – when they heard the front door open and footsteps coming toward them.

“What the hell?” A gruff voice asked, clearly shocked at the sight. Dad. Dean pushed Castiel off of him, breaking the kiss and causing Castiel to squeak in shock. Dean looked to Sam, whose eyes were wide, teeth biting his lower lip to keep from roaring with laughter.

“Uh. Hey Dad. Long time no see,” Dean tried, slowly sitting up and half-heartedly brushing flour off of himself.

“Dean,” John narrowed his eyes, slowly taking in the scene before him. His eyes traveled from the baking supplies still on the counter, to the flour literally everywhere, to the two strangers in his kitchen and then finally to Dean’s slightly swollen lips. “What the hell is even going on in here?”

John didn’t sound angry, thank god, but fuck did he sound confused. Dean laughed, getting up off the floor and holding out his arms to give his dad a hug. John merely lifted an eyebrow and shook his head. Dean was about to feel offended when he remembered he was covered in flour.

“We, uh, were just experiencing World War III, is all,” Dean smiled, holding out his hand for Cas. He took it, and let Dean pull him off the floor to stand next to him. 

“Dad, this is my boyfriend, Castiel Novak. And that’s,” He pointed to where Gabriel was still laughing with Sam. “His older brother Gabriel. They’re staying with us for Christmas.”

“Hm.” John looked closer at Cas, inspecting him. “It’s nice to meet you, Cas-teel.”

“You can call me Cas if you would like, Mr. Winchester,” Castiel said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, too. Dean talks about you a lot.” And yeah, that’s kind of bullshit but Dean didn’t call him out on it.

“He does?” John asked, giving Dean a strange look. “Call me John, Cas. No need for Mr. Winchester.”

“Thank you,” Castiel smiled.

“Yeah, well make sure all of you clean up this mess,” John grunted. “If Mary sees it she’ll have a heart attack.”

“I’ve already seen it!” Mary yelled from the family room. “And it better get cleaned up before dinner!”

Dean laughed, hooking an arm around his boyfriend and nudging Sam.

“Alright, we heard Mom. Let’s clean up this warzone and make some motherfucking cookies.”

“Language!” Mary and John yelled at the same time. 

It was good to be home.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Cas woke up slowly, too immersed in Dean’s warmth to want to move. Dean had waxed poetic about his memory foam mattress but  fuck , Castiel had no idea just how amazing it was. So instead of waking up and doing anything, he snuggled closer to Dean and kept his eyes closed. Humming contentedly, he curled his fingers around Dean’s arm.

Dean grunted in his sleep but didn’t move. Castiel was just slipping back into sleep when someone crashed through Dean’s bedroom door and jumped onto the bed. Dean groaned loudly, throwing an arm over his eyes. Castiel unwrapped his arms from around Dean and turned to glare at the intruder. Sam.

“Get up guys, it’s Christmas Eve!” Sam jumped on his hands and knees, which oh my god, why were his bones so sharp? “We’ve got stuff to do!”

“Nghngh,” Dean groaned, swatting his hand at Sam. The next thing Cas knew, Gabriel was jumping up onto the bed as well.

“C’mon, Cassie,” He crowed happily. “Rise and shine.”

“Why are you guys so tired?” Sam pouted. “You should be excited.”

“They probably had really enthusiastic sex all night,” Gabe muttered in a stage whisper.

Castiel rolled his eyes. “No, we didn’t.”

“Then get up!”

“You guys suck, you know that,” Dean mumbled, pushing them off the bed tiredly.

“We know,” Gabe smirked.

“Get your lazy asses out of bed and into the living room,” Sam declared.

“Fine. Now get out, bitch,” Dean said, swatting at Sam.

“Fine. Jerk.”

Gabe and Sam left, albeit reluctantly, leaving the door open behind them. Dean snuggled back into Cas, nudging his head into the crook of his shoulder. “I love waking up with you in my bed.”

Castiel smiled, pressing a kiss to Dean’s hair. “I love waking up in your bed.”

“I’m glad we’ve established that,” Dean grinned against his shirt.

“Me too, love.”

 

 

The rest of the day passed in a frenzied blur. When Dean and Cas weren’t running errands, they were baking or cleaning or hiding from Mary, who almost always had a job for them to do. The Harvelles were coming over for dinner, so Mary wanted the house spotless. Cas didn’t understand why, since both families were practically one. But then again, he hadn’t grown up in the most normal of families, so he didn’t really have any decent comparison. When he’d asked Dean about it all he’d gotten in reply was “I don’t freaking know, Mom’s crazy. Pass me that carton of milk?”

Castiel was hiding up in Dean’s room – suggested actually by John – reading a book when he heard the distinct screech of Jo Harvelle. Cas glanced at the clock, surprised to see it was already seven. Just as he was putting his book onto Dean’s nightstand, Sam knocked and came in before he could respond. 

“C’mon, Cas, Jo and Adam are here.”

“You should have come and gotten me earlier,” Cas said. “I hadn’t realized I had been reading for that long. I should have been helping.”

“Nah,” Sam shrugged. “Dean said to let you be. He said you were stressed before because of finals. That, and Gabe wanted to make sure you stayed in this room for as long as possible.”

“Oh god,” Castiel sighed, accepting his undoubtedly Trickster-filled fate. “Should I be scared?”

“Not as scared as Dean should be.” Sam smiled wickedly.

As they made their way downstairs and into the family room, Jo jumped up and threw her arms around Castiel. He stumbled backwards, arms instinctively wrapping themselves around Jo.

“Ah, Cassie, I’ve missed you,” Jo squealed.

Cas laughed, glancing over to Ellen, who was watching them with amusement. Adam stood by her side, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. 

“You just saw me yesterday, Jo.”

“Yeah, but I’m used to seeing you all the time.”

“Jo, honey,” Ellen nudged her off of him. “Give the poor boy a breather.”

Jo laughed, sending a wink over. “For now, Novak, for now.”

Dean was suddenly behind Cas, wrapping a warm arm around his middle. Castiel jumped slightly, not having noticed him approach.

“Hey, Ellen, Adam,” Dean said in greeting. “You’re not hitting on my boyfriend, are you Jo?”

Jo snorted. “Never.”

“Good. Adam, buddy, Sam’s probably in his room. Oh, and he’s made a new friend. Be careful of him.”

“Oh, sure, thanks,” Adam said, sending a grateful look to Dean before leaving the room.

“Well, we’re going to talk to John and Mary,” Ellen announced.

“Mom, we  _ just _ got here, can’t I at least talk to Dean and Cas?” Jo whined.

“Leave the lovebirds alone for a second,” Ellen said, grinning at Dean.

“How have they  _ not _ gotten their fill of each other yet,” Jo muttered, but followed Ellen out of the room anyways.

Castiel turned around in Dean’s hold once they were alone. “What’s up?” He whispered.

“Nothing,” Dean whispered back, maintaining eye contact.

“Okay,” Castiel kissed him. His hands traveled to Dean’s back and then slowly downwards. The kiss was chaste, almost would have been innocent if it weren’t for the wandering hands.

“Dinner’s ready!” Sam popped out of nowhere, followed by Adam, both of them catching Cas with his hands on Dean’s ass. Adam looked mildly traumatized while Sam pulled a bitchface and called out, “ _ Gabe _ _,_ they’re doing it again.”

“Don’t tell me Cas has Dean’s ass?” Jo leaped into the room. And why the fuck hadn’t Cas removed his hands as soon as he heard Sam? 

“I was right!” Jo crowed, going around and giving out high fives.

Castiel’s cheeks burned, but Dean was still holding him, so there was that.

Dinner was more or less a casual affair. Castiel sat next to Dean, whose legs nudged his every now and then while they ate and made small talk. Dean had warned Castiel about Mary’s apple pies and just how amazing they were, but Cas had absolutely no idea that a pastry could taste  _ that _ good.

“Mary, this is the best thing I’ve ever eaten,” Castiel mumbled around a forkful of pie. She smiled, inclining her wine glass towards him.

“I see you and Dean’ll get along just fine.”

“You should send us back with a couple,” Dean said, moaning around his forkful of pie.

“Maybe,” was all Mary said, but she was still smiling, so it was probably a yes.

Not twenty minutes later, the six of them were sprawled out in the family room watching Dr. Sexy M.D. reruns. Castiel had his arms hooked around his boyfriend, head resting on his shoulder as Dean avidly watched and yelled at the screen. He nodded off several times, only lazily paying attention to Dean ramble on about the show. The way that Gabe was beginning to become fascinated was slightly worrying, but his sleepy mind was too hazy to really care.

It was eleven thirty when John came in and turned off the TV. Gabe and Dean were the only ones protesting, Dean going so far as to pick up a pillow and toss it at his dad’s stomach.

“Hey, none of that,” John warned, but there was amusement hidden in his tone. “Midnight mass. Get dressed, the lot of you.”

Castiel had been religious as a child. He had loved going to church, but his parents stopped having the nannies take him and Gabriel every week once they realized Gabe didn’t want to go. Apparently, it would have been too much work for Cas to have gone alone.

“We’re going to church?” Castiel asked Dean as they climbed the stairs.

“Yeah, I told you about this.”

“No, no you didn’t.”

“I didn’t?” Dean worried his bottom lip as they walked into his room. Castiel closed the door behind him and shook his head in the negative.  

“I suppose you didn’t bring any nice clothes, huh?”

“No.” Castiel squinted. “Was I supposed to?”

“No, no,” Dean mumbled, opening up his closet. “You can borrow some of mine, they should fit well enough.”

Dean sifted through his closet, eyebrows pinched in concentration. Castiel didn’t think Dean realized he was pouting, either, and Cas smiled.

“You’re adorable,” He stated frankly.

“I - what?” Dean sputtered, looking incredulously at Cas. “I am  _ not _ _._ I - your  _ face _ is adorable.” The tips of his ears went red as he finally pulled something from his closet and shoved it at Cas, throwing a tie in his direction as well while Cas grinned and pecked Dean on the cheek.

“They’re some of my old stuff, so it should fit you better. You can just wear jeans if you want, that’s what I usually do,” Dean muttered, clearing his throat as he grabbed his own clothes.

Castiel studied the clothing for a moment before he started stripping. Dean had settled on giving him a dark gray dress shirt with a black vest, along with a red and white striped tie. The charcoal shirt fit nice enough, if only slightly too big. The waistcoat, on the other hand, fit perfectly, and he couldn’t help but feel smug as he watched Dean give him a onceover and lick his lips.

Dean cleared his throat three times before speaking. 

“Damn, Cas… You should wear my clothes more often.”

“Thank you, Dean.” Suddenly feeling self-conscious, Castiel glanced at the mirror. All he could see was his tie hanging lopsidedly.

“Help me with my tie?”

Dean nodded, stepping into Castiel’s personal space and reaching for his neck. He paused, eyes flicking up to Castiel’s own and then looked back down. With obvious concentration, Dean fiddled with Cas’s tie, hands lingering before smoothing down his chest, patting it once. His eyes flicked up again to meet Castiel’s and this time Castiel reached up and kissed him.

“You look amazing,” Dean whispered after the kiss, smoothing his fingertips over the edges of Cas’s tie, and using it to pull Cas in for another kiss. “You should wear a tie more often.”

“Drives you crazy, does it?” Cas teased.

“Yes. Very - very much,” Dean managed, eyes wide as he took Cas in. “I think I have a thing for - whatever the hell it is you’re doing to me in that outfit.”

“I’m glad you like my thing, Dean.” Cas frowned. “That didn’t come out quite right.”

Dean laughed, bringing his hands back down on Cas’ chest before pushing himself away. Cas took the opportunity to openly stare at Dean’s clothes. He was wearing a maroon suit, with a dark button down shirt loosely opened to expose the base of his throat and tucked into his belt and jeans.

Castiel’s mouth was watering.

“Like what you see?” Dean asked, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“Far too much,” Castiel said, unable to tear his eyes away. Dean beamed, looking back down at what he was wearing, before looking back at Cas with a smile in his eyes. 

A knock startled them out of their reverie.

“You guys ready?” Mary called. Dean looked Cas up and down one last time – which of course made him blush – and nodded before remembering she couldn’t see.

“Coming!”

They sat towards the back in the church, sharing a pew with the Harvelles, while Cas stared at his surroundings in wonder. The stained glass windows were beautiful even at night, with the light from inside no doubt filtering out of the church to dance colourfully on the snow outside. The tall arching pillars made him feel positively small, and the chill from outside was dissipating as he revelled in the warmth of a hundred bustling people.

“Cassie,” Gabe whispered. “Do you have any gum?”

“No,” Cas hissed back. “You’re not supposed to eat during mass.”

Gabe rolled his eyes, sticking a tongue out at him before turning to Sam.

Dean snorted, closing his eyes to rest his head on Cas’ shoulder. Castiel smiled, knowing very well why Dean was so tired. He was still fucked out from yesterday. Cas immediately reddened, shoving the thoughts out of his mind. He was in  _ church  _ goddammit.

“Hey Dean,” Cas whispered, rubbing his thumb across Dean’s knuckles. “I know it’s midnight, but maybe now isn’t the time to sleep.”

“Why not?” Dean was barely coherent.

“Because, baby, it’s Christmas.”

“Do you want to know what all I want for Christmas is?”

“To take a nap right now?” Castiel mused, but he saw Sam face palming out of the corner of his eye.

“No, baby,” Dean smiled, his eyes still closed. “All I want for Christmas is you.”

Castiel knit his brow in confusion. “I don’t understand that reference.”

Dean sat up, eyes slightly hazy from the attempted nap, hair ruffled on one side. 

“Mariah Carey?” Castiel shook his head, and Dean’s mouth opening slightly in shock. “Cas, it’s a classic. Everyone knows it.”

“Oh.”

“Stop it, Dean, you’re embarrassing him,” Adam chipped in from down the pew. “I hadn’t heard it until last year, Castiel, don’t worry.”

“Thank you, Adam.” Cas nudged Dean in the ribs. “See?”

Dean rolled his eyes before burying his face back into Cas’ shoulder, Cas’s arm warm around him.

Castiel had missed attending church, but he couldn’t help but admit that listening to the priest rumble on for an hour - honestly wasn’t that interesting. The only bright side was that it saw Dean resting his head on Cas’s shoulder the entire time. Only when they finally stood up did Dean straighten with a grumble, the fabric from Cas’s shirt imprinted on his cheek. John chuckled at them, but no one said anything. 

He thought he’d keen over and fall asleep as soon as he’d walked through the front door of the Winchester home, but instead he was oddly awake.

“Do you guys want to make a fire in the fireplace?” Sam asked, looking over at Dean with big eyes. Castiel enjoyed watching the two Winchester brothers interact. It was obvious, even to strangers, how much they cared about each other. Castiel found he was also fond of the younger Winchester. Sam would do great things one day.

“ _ Hell yeah . _ ” Dean ruffled Sam’s hair. Cas, Dean, Sam, and Gabe all made their way to the family room, Mary and John heading upstairs to bed.

Dean started hauling logs of wood from beside the fireplace, placing them into the grate with little grunts.

“Woo, damn Dean, show us yo skills,” Gabe swooned, fanning himself with his hand.

“Not too late to kick you out,” Dean muttered, but he was smiling.

“Aw, you wouldn’t do that to someone as dashing as me.” Gabe fluttered his eyelashes, puckering his lips as if expecting a kiss. Sam pretended to gag.

Once the fire was roaring, they all lapsed into silence, content to listen to the soft cackling of the fire. Castiel closed his eyes with a soft sigh, leaning his head back on the couch. Somehow his hand found Dean’s and took hold. Dean squeezed back.

Gabriel’s breathing evened out, soon followed by  Sam. Dean was still intermittently rubbing his thumb over Castiel’s knuckles, and Cas felt an invisible smile pulling at his lips.

Cas thought about how long he’d been with Dean. Three months wasn’t really very long, but it had felt like forever. What had he done before he met him? What had  _ Dean _ done before he met Cas? Castiel, despite all his work, had loved their first months of college. And Dean was a huge part of that. Dean made him happy, and he made those around them happy. What else could he want? Castiel made a mental note to thank his older brother for locking them in that room.

Speaking of which...

“Hey, Dean?”

“Yeah?”

Castiel hesitated, rolling the question in his mind. He didn’t want to unnerve Dean. But now he couldn’t get the question out of his head, and he wanted an answer. 

“Remember that night Gabe trapped us in our psych hall?”

“Yeah…?”

“Well, um,” Castiel rolled over so that he could lie on his stomach, giving him better view of Dean. “You know how Gabe blackmailed you with pictures?”

Dean was silent for a long time. Cas could barely make out his face in the flickering light. “Yeah.”

“I was wondering if you would possibly...tell me what they were of?” Cas couldn’t keep the small shred of hope out of his tone. Dean looked conflicted, expressions dancing across his face, before he settled on pinching his eyebrows together and letting out a little huff of determination.

Dean rolled over himself, coming up so that he was face to face with Cas. Their eyes were locked, but what else was new?

“If I tell you what those photos were, you promise to never tell another living soul?” Dean’s voice was deadly serious. Cas tried not to smile. He failed.

“I swear.”

“Pinky promise?” Dean’s face melted into a lopsided smile, and Cas couldn’t help but toothily beam back. He held out his hand, hooking his pinky finger around Dean’s own, and giving it a squeeze. 

“Now tell me, Dean Winchester, or I’ll be forced to take drastic measures.”

Dean rolled his eyes affectionately. 

“Okay, well… Shit. Rhonda Hurley, well me and her, we fooled around this one time and she, uh,” Dean blushed furiously, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You sure Sammy and Gabe are asleep?” Dean stalled.

“Yes, Dean.”

Dean let out another long breath.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Cas said, placing a soft hand on Dean’s cheek.

“No, no it’s not that, it’s just…” Dean took a deep breath. “She made me wear her pink satin panties.” 

Holy fuck.

No way. No freaking way were there pictures of  _ Dean _ in pink panties and Castiel did not own them.

“I didn’t realized she’d taken pictures until after.” Dean was blushing even harder now. Castiel wanted those pictures. Badly. 

“I thought she deleted them, but uh, I’m not so sure anymore.”

“I hope not,” Cas rumbled in as deep of a voice as he could, fingers curling where they still rested on Dean’s cheek. Dean’s breath stopped briefly before he let it all out shakily.

“You like the idea of me in panties?” Dean teased, keeping his voice low. It drove Cas crazy and he  _ knew _ Dean knew it.

“Very much.”

“Maybe we can try it some time,” Dean mused, a playful glint in his eye. “Would you like that?”

“Fuck yes.” Castiel cleared his throat, looking away momentarily then flicking his eyes back to Dean’s as he gathered courage. “So would now be a good time to tell you I took a picture of you splayed out on the Impala yesterday?”

He’d meant to tell Dean about it; he was simply trying to find the right time. He was extremely anxious as to how Dean would react. Positively or negatively? Positively or negatively? Positively? Negatively?

Dean’s eyes widened beyond belief, his jaw dropping as if in a cartoon. Castiel bit his bottom lip and looked away. He didn’t want to see the horror in Dean’s eyes. Shit, he’d fucked up big time. Now Dean would be pissed at him and he’d have nothing he could do and –

“You kinky son of a bitch.”

Castiel’s eyes flew back to Dean and  _ holy shit _ _,_ Cas needed to keep his libido in check because there was no way he was rubbing one out next to The Trickster. Dean was emanating sex, his voice a couple thousand octaves lower than usual.

“I swear I was gonna tell you, and I didn’t do anything with it, and I wasn’t going to show it to anyone else and – ” Castiel cut himself off when he realized he was getting loud. “They’re private, I swear.”

“I trust you.”

“You do?”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Should I not?”

“No!” Castiel lowered his voice again when he heard Sam stir in his sleep. “No, you should trust me. I value your trust very much.”

“Good,” Dean rolled over and returned to his previous position on his back. “Will you show them to me later?”

“Of course.”

Castiel fell asleep that night holding Dean’s hand, listening to the crackle of the fire while the Christmas lights blinked, and snow quietly blanketed the house.

  
  


Castiel was woken painfully with a limb to the stomach.

“WAKE UP!”

Goddammit, he’d lived with The Trickster long enough to immediately – even in his sleepy haze – know that it was Gabriel who was tormenting him.

Cas groaned, rolling over and hitting Dean’s warm body and snuggling closer.

“DEAN!” Huh. That wasn’t Gabe. In fact, that sounded sorta like –

“Fuck off, Samsquatch,” Dean mumbled.

“But it’s Christmas!”

“Sam’s right,” Gabriel whined. “You guys hafta wake up  _ now _ .”

Cas reluctantly opened his eyes to the sight of Gabriel and Sam leaning over him and Dean .  _ And when had he moved to be lying next to Dean? _ When he’d fallen asleep, he was on the  _ other _ side of the living room.

“’M up.”

“No you aren’t, Cassie,” Gabe grinned wolfishly, jumping up and disappearing out of view. Cas sent a curious look to Sam but only got a shrug in response.

“C’mon Dean, even your boyfriend is awake.”

“Bleh.” Dean threw an arm out in protest and yawned. “What time is it?”

“Five.”

“What??” Cas groaned. They’d only fallen asleep four hours ago.

“What the hell, Sammy?” Dean threw a heated glare at his brother before realization dawned on his face. “It’s Christmas.”

“That’s what we said.” Gabe wandered back into the room with a glass of eggnog and a cookie.

Castiel sat up, locating a blanket that was right next to him and wrapping himself in it. The fire had died out long ago, and he was left shivering. Dean’s eyes looked dangerously close to shutting again, so Cas pulled him into a sitting position with difficulty, wrapping them both with the blanket as his teeth chattered. It was no easy feat to achieve, especially when Dean was so tired.

Dean mumbled a soft protest before sleepily kissing him gently, resting their foreheads together. Never did Castiel think he would be so happy to wake up on Christmas.

“Merry Christmas, Cas.” Dean blinked several times, smile still soft with sleep.

Cas smiled back, radiant.

“Merry Christmas, Dean.”

 

 

“C’mon, Cas,” Dean held his hand and pulled him out of the family room where everyone was watching Lord of the Rings.

“Why?”

“Shh,” Dean said playfully. “It’s a surprise.”

Cas lit up. They were giving each other their presents now, weren’t they? Cas had left it in his bag in Dean’s room, wanting it to be something more private between them. He fidgeted a bit, nervous. He was more than happy with the CD he’d made, but the ending… That was something he hadn’t consulted Balthazar on.

Dean looked up at Castiel shyly, blushing and looking away again. His room suddenly seemed too small.

“I wanted to give you your gift,” Dean said.

“Me too.”

Dean seemed surprised that Cas had gotten him a gift - Cas couldn’t wait till the day Dean stopped being surprised to find that Cas loved him - and he smiled, going over to his closet to pull out a white box with red velvety ribbon.

“I uh, had Jo wrap it, though.” Dean handed the box to Cas, rubbing the back of his neck with the other hand. Castiel took the box with a wide smile and sat down on Dean’s bed to open it.

Castiel undid the ribbon and opened the box, and  _ oh _ _._ Inside was a delicate wire sculpture of an angel with it’s wings spread wide behind it, twisting and unfurling as its arms reached for Cas. It looked eerily familiar, and he squinted at it until realization suddenly hit Castiel. His glass angel. This was a sturdier, wire version of his glass angel.  _ Dean _ made this. Dean did this for him. 

Cas was so transfixed on turning the figure over and over in his hands, that he hadn’t realized how nervous Dean was acting.

“I…” Dean started hesitantly. “I saw how devastated you looked. When you saw your glass angel had been broken. And uh, I tried to find one that looked just like it, but all the ones I saw weren’t good enough. So I made one for you.”

“Dean.” Castiel’s throat felt tight with emotion.

“I know it isn’t much, and it’s really shitty, but uh, I tried to make it as close to the original as possible.” Dean shrugged nonchalantly, shoulders stiff.

“Dean, it’s beautiful.” Castiel held it up, rotating it in his hands. It really was quite amazing. “I love it. Thank you.”

“You do?”

“So much.” Castiel pulled his boyfriend close and kissed him. “I love it. And you. So much.”

“I love you, too, Cas.” Dean smiled broadly, and shifted. 

“I, uh, also made a card for you. I wasn’t sure if I was able to say everything, so… Here.” Dean shoved a card into Cas’s hands, cheeks burning.

Cas’s heart was about to burst as he took the card and marvelled at it. On the outside, he’d carefully written the words “Merry Christmas, Cas!” Underneath the words, he’d stuck a photo that someone - probably Sam - must’ve taken a few days ago, with Dean kissing Cas’s cheek on the couch, while Gabe gagged and Cas looked stupidly flustered. Cas smiled as he gently opened the card and read.

_ Hey Cas, _

_ So I guess I’m writing you this Christmas card. Merry Christmas, babe!  ~~ I actu  ~~ ~~ I hope th ~~ Okay I’ve been sitting here for about 10 minutes now and I still don’t know how to say what I want to say so I’m just gonna say it. Cas, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. (That sounded stupidly cheesy but you get the idea.) I’m never going to be able to tell you enough how much you constantly amaze me, or say the words “I love you” enough either, but I hope you know that I really do. I love every part of you, Cas. Remember that first day we met? I’d already fallen in love with your eyes the moment they looked at me. Which, by the way, Wikipedia doesn’t have the color to describe. I checked. And then even while we thought we hated each other, I was falling in love with the way you squinted at me when I sometimes attempted to talk to you, and the frankly adorable way you push at your glasses when they start slipping down your nose (which still really makes me want to kiss you, glasses and all). And after the you-know-what happened, I continued falling in love with the way you smile at me, all toothy and grinning, and the way you curl around me when we sleep, and the stupid existential questions you wonder at when we’re halfway to falling asleep. I’m doing a lot of falling here. But I’m still continuing to fall for you every day, Cas, and I’ll continue falling for you, as long as you’ll let me. As long as you don’t take me skydiving. I hate flying. _

_ I love you, Cas. _

_ Dean _

Cas was going to cry. His face was contorting strangely, not sure whether to smile or laugh or just cry. He wordlessly hugged Dean, clinging to him, and Dean let out the breath he’d been holding as he hugged Cas back just as tightly, and pressed a kiss to Cas’s head. Cas let out a muffled almost-sob as he buried his head in the crook of Dean’s neck, breathing deeply, and completely unwilling to let go. But he still had something to give Dean.

“Now I get to give you your present.” Castiel pulled out of Dean’s embrace and beamed, watery-eyed.

Dean’s eyes filled and he watched Cas as he got off the bed and went to his bag. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Shut up, Dean,” Castiel quipped. He hated when Dean thought he wasn’t worthy of anything. Dean was worthy of  _ everything _ _._ “I wanted to give you this.”

Cas passed him the small package. He’d wrapped the CD in green wrapping paper, the closest shade he could get to Dean’s eyes.

“I wasn’t sure what to get you originally. This was actually Balth’s idea, but I chose everything,” Castiel supplied when Dean had unwrapped the gift and was looking curiously at the unmarked CD case. Dean nodded, opening the case. Written onto the top of the CD was  _ Dean Winchester’s Boyfriend Is Amazing (Compiled by Said Boyfriend) . _

“You made me a playlist?” Dean asked with amusement. Castiel felt the tips of his ears burn as he nodded, but Dean wasn’t looking up.

“Yeah,” he said lowly. “It’s for next year when you can keep your Baby at campus.” Castiel looked down at his hands, not wanting to see Dean’s reaction. He knew it couldn’t be good. “I thought if we were still together – ”

_ Shit. _ That’s not what he meant to say. Dean looked up suddenly, eyes wide.

“No, nononono, that’s…fuck.” Castiel ran his fingers through his hair. “That’s not what I meant to say. I have no plans of leaving you, I swear…”

“Cas,” Dean interjected, now smiling again. “I get what you meant, it’s fine.”

Castiel blew a huff of air out of his mouth, thankful Dean understood. “Anyway, I thought that you might want to listen to it when you have the Impala next year.”

“I love it,” Dean rested a hand on Cas’s thigh and kissed him. “And I don’t have any plans of leaving you either, baby.”

“Good.” Castiel felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He’d been worried that Dean wouldn’t like the gift, but why? Dean would probably like anything Cas gave him. That thought humbled him.

“Can I listen to it?” Dean asked with hope in his eyes.

“If you want.” Cas’s face flushed at the memory of what he’d recorded at the end of the CD. Dean would either think it was sweet or he’d be embarrassed to no end. He worried at his lip.

“I want.” Dean grinned, getting up and retrieving an old boom box. A nervous anticipation settled in Castiel’s stomach as Dean put the CD into the player. “Lie down so we can listen.”

Castiel followed Dean’s instruction and lay back on the bed, leaving room for Dean to lie down next to him, tucking an arm under Cas’s head. The melody of  _ Carry On My Wayward Son  _ drifted between them, Dean immediately smiling as the first lines played.

They held hands, Dean drifting closer to Castiel as he brushed his fingers up and down Cas’s back, tracing patterns into it as he hummed along to the songs he knew. It was on the final song of the playlist,  _ Take Me to Church _ (one of Castiel’s picks, not one of Dean’s favorites) that Cas’s worries came back to him. The song ended slowly, fading out into silence. The low whir of the CD was comforting, when all of a sudden, Castiel’s recorded voice piped up. Dean’s fingers stilled as Castiel hid his head in the pillow with a groan. This wasn’t going to end well.

“Hello Dean,” the pre-recorded voice said. Castiel buried his head farther into the pillow. “First of all, I’d like to wish you a merry Christmas, love. So, um. Merry Christmas. Secondly... I want you to know that I love you. And I recorded it here so you’ll remember. If, somehow, you ever forget that I love you, or that you’re worthy of everything, you’ll know. I love you, Dean Winchester. And you deserve it. You deserve to be loved, Dean.”

Castiel groaned, curling his legs into his chest and pulling the pillow down over his ears. Still, the voice continued.

“Promise me you’ll remember that. You’ve made me so incredibly happy these past few months. I could never thank you enough.” There was a pause, and real life Castiel pressed his hands over his ears even harder. “I hope you will continue to let me love you. I… Admittedly, I was rather lost before I found you. I loved my work, I loved my brother, and not much beyond that. Shit, I forgot Balthazar. Him too. But beyond that, I wasn’t sure how to love much else. Even myself, sometimes. You showed me, though. You showed me what it was like to love. You showed me I  was worthy, of everything. So I want to do the same for you, Dean. Because I find you don’t nearly believe that as much as you should. I love you, Dean. I love you.”

The CD stopped, signaling the end, and the silence that followed was crushing. Castiel kept his head hidden under the pillow, removing his hands from his ears only to wrap them tight around his torso. God, Dean would be so creeped out, wouldn’t he?

“Cas…”

Castiel shook his head under the pillow, gripping himself more tightly.

Dean sighed and placed a gentle hand onto Castiel’s arm. He shivered at the contact. He never should have put that message in. He should have just left it at the last song.

“ _ Baby _ ,” Dean murmured, pressing a kiss onto Castiel’s neck. “Do you really mean all that?”

Did Dean sound like he was about to cry? Despite the furious blush, Castiel pulled his head out from under the damn pillow. Dean’s eyes were wet with unshed tears.

“Every word.”

Dean broke out a sob, crashing into Castiel and kissing him with everything. Castiel kissed him back desperately, fingers clenching around Dean’s shirt. Castiel loved him, so, so much.

“I love you, Cas.”

“I know. I love you, too.”

“No, baby,” Dean kept kissing him, only pulling away to whisper words of adoration. “I love you. I love you so fucking much.”

Dean pulled him into his arms, tucking him into him in every nook and cranny. “I’ll never be able to tell you just how much I love you.”

“Dean,” Castiel whispered the words softly. “Me too.”

 

 

“Three minutes until the ball drops!”

Castiel was holding his champagne glass in anticipation. He was sitting on Dean’s lap on the couch, waiting for the clock to turn to midnight and announce the start of the New Year.

“What’s your New Year’s resolution, babe?” Dean asked, rubbing his hands slowly up and down Castiel’s back. Just last night Cas had bottomed for the first time – and fuck, he had no idea. It was… bizarre at first, to say the least, and hurt, but after that… he wanted to do it again. And Dean had been amazing. He hadn’t stopped paying Cas attention since, either. This was probably the seventh time today that Dean had started rubbing his back. Cas loved it.

“I hadn’t thought about it yet,” Castiel answered truthfully. He’d never really had New Year’s resolutions before. “What’s yours?”

“To take you out every weekend,” Dean whispered with a kiss. “And to do all my fucking homework.”

Castiel laughed, nudging his nose against Dean’s where they rested.

“Ew, gross,” Jo teased, plopping down onto the couch next to them.

“You guys weren’t kidding,” Sam said, eyes wide and serious. “I had no idea how intimate they were  _ all the time _ .”

Gabe smirked, patting Sam on the head. “You get used to it, kid.”

Sam swatted his hand away, turning around to give him a glare. Castiel suddenly liked him even better. “Hands off the hair. And I’m not a kid.”

“Sure, kid,” Benny rumbled with a grin, and Dean high fived him.

“Two minutes until the ball drops!” Gabe announced excitedly.

“Can I kiss you?” Castiel turned and whispered.

Dean tilted his head and smiled. “All the time, Cas.”

He heard everyone else groaning, including Dean’s parents, but he didn’t care. Judging by the way Dean beamed against his lips, neither did he.

“One minute ‘til the ball drops! Now get your face off my little bro. You guys have  _ got _ to come up for air or something.” Gabe wrinkled his nose. “And it’s  _ disgusting _ .”

Cas leaned back with a wide smile, pulling Dean to stand up with everyone else and chanting the countdown to zero.

“Forty five, forty four, forty three…”

Sam whispered something into Gabe’s ear, jerking a thumb towards Cas and Dean.

“Thirty six, thirty five, thirty four…”

Cas’ eyes widened. They  _ wouldn’t _ _._ This was what Sam had been talking about earlier, wasn’t it? Gabe was going to pull some final grand prank of the year and start the new year with a mess.

“Twenty nine, twenty eight, twenty seven…”

Gabe shook his head, and Sam shrugged before returning to the chanting.  _ What? _ Gabe turned to look at Cas, sending a small smile and wink towards Cas’ gaping expression.  _ Happy new year, bro _ _,_ Gabe mouthed, before turning his attention back to the TV.

“Sixteen, fifteen, fourteen…”

Maybe there really would be no prank. Gabe looked… content. For the first time in years.

“Ten, nine, eight...” 

Castiel chanted the numbers as loud as he could, his voice melting with everyone else’s, a huge smile on his face.

“Seven, six, five...” 

Dean wrapped a hand around the back of Castiel’s neck. 

“Four, three…”

Three seconds left of the year. Castiel had three seconds to come up with a New Year’s resolution. Dean took a step closer.

“Two!”

Castiel was running out of time.

“One!”

He knew it. Dean pulled him forward and kissed him. It wasn’t the first time Castiel had been kissed on the turn of the New Year, but it was the first time it had been by someone he loved. He kissed his boyfriend back with everything he had.

Castiel’s New Year’s resolution?

Love Dean Winchester for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone who has taken this journey with Miki and me throughout posting this, and if you've just started, then that's wonderful, too. Again, I'd like to thank Miki for being my lovely beta, this wouldn't be nearly what it is without you. I love you all, and happy holidays! :)

**Author's Note:**

> caswinchesterbaby on tumblr >> castielskeytotheimpala  
> castielscats on tumblr >> worthy-rising-demon


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